Chateau

Perhaps the marriage wasn't in complete, but it was a marriage after all. To a beautiful lady of high status, a friendly and inviting family, harmony.

Alfred felt terrible, he was going to tear this shirt of unity apart, but he couldn't help it, he had needs after all. It was only once in a while, with the same person. He tried, that's how he consoled himself, he tried to stop. The years of the secret had taken their toll on him. He went from a man of stunning looks and lively person, to a dampened faced, drawn young man. He still had the classic Beauty of a young lord, but the grey puddles under his eyes and wrinkles by the tough skin of his lips aged him quite and made him look his years. He checked every morning for grey hairs, stress had strung his auburn hair to a matt brown, it was only given time he'd have a head of grey goat like hairs.

The castle was grande and executed in a royal manner, this was the guards castle, where he found he spent most of his time these last given years. It was more forgiving on his worn emotions, there was no secret walking around these walls, only people that respected and looked after him. In its hay days, the castle would of been full with soldiers in the full armour, chainmail and all. Now, however, those thoughts were only ghosts to its more formal attire. Workers and staff dressed in suits and shirt jackets wandered its walls. 1932 was a warm year for France, it had given Alfred his twenty-third birthday, and his secret its promotion. Outside of Alfred's mind, things were calm and unexpecting. The castle was full of English and American staff, a man with a small moustache rounded the corner, holding a cane. Followed by 3 men.

Oh.

There was his secret.

Alfred was noticed.

"Lord Jones, how good to see you."

The entraught of men stopped, and stood to stare at Alfred.

"Ah, aha. Hello."

"Are you both familiar with eachother?" The moustached man asked, flicking his eyesight between them both.

"Very."

Alfred winced.

"Yes," he started "Arthur and I, we converse, back at the family grounds."

"Conversed." Arthur repeated, smiling kindly.

"Ah, really Arthur? How good to be spoken to by the Lord."

"We are friends, if I must choose words to describe us." Alfred continued "would you mind if I took him for a tattle?" Alfred smiled.

The men all raised their eyebrows at Arthur.

"No- no. Terribly not. Please, Arthur. The Lord requests your presence."

The room was small, cold and drafty, with a thin stained glass window and a wooden bench attatched to the wall. Arthur was sat down, his youthful face looking at Alfred, who was perched beside him, holding Arthur's left hand between his own two.

"I've missed you."

Arthur looked down. "I'm also as you. Alfred, there's not a day that goes by without a thought of you filtering my mind."

Alfred kissed him.

"Oh, how I've missed-"

"Alfred. There's something that needs to be said, however."

"Oh?"

"About- about your wife. I just- I feel stricken with guilt, Alfred."

There was a cold silence.

"As do I."

"I can't help but feel I should-"

"Whatever you are about to say, don't."

"Feel I should stop with you, till you give her a child. That's what she wants so deeply, is it not?"

"I couldn't. I couldn't carry on with you if their was a child. It might just kill me off once and for all." A lost laugh.

"Maybe- maybe we shouldn't..."

Alfred dropped Arthur's hand, swallowing. There was a cold cut tension between them, the trailed sentence left behind it stains.

"Do you not like me, Arthur?"

Arthur looked taken aback, rushing to secure Alfred's hand in his again.

"It's not that at all! It's just dangerous. It's hurting people, kind people. That you love!"

"It's not... I... Arthur I can't. I do care for you very deeply."

"I love you, Alfred."

"...thank you."

"Thank you?"

"Please. My head is just very-"

"Alfred, you have to be sure. It's not worth the risk, if you aren't sure."

Alfred paused. Took a breath, looked into Arthur's soulful green eyes.

"Confused. Very confused. I can't be sure of anything right now, except whatever 'this' is, is worth the risk. Okay?"

A fly buzzed about the room, walking between the rotting stone walls of the château, there was a sense of depth and history to this room, it almost felt as if there were many eyes witnessing what was happening, watching and waiting. Alfred found himself glancing at the distressed wooden door for any onlookers now and then. It was stressful, the continuous feeling of having to watch your back ; the paranoia that came with trying to keep a life-wrecking secret from all but one person. Arthur say silent, like a thousand and one things were trotting across his mind all at once. Alfred chewed his lip nervously as he waited, ever so carefully scrutinising their locked fingers. It just felt so freeing. Arthur closed his eyes, momentarily taking a time to breath, the fly flew out he break in the window as his eyes were open again, watery.

"Americans..."

"Sorry?"

"I said Americans, never ready to admit your emotions unless you don't mean them. Too much of a mask."

Alfred laughed.

"You English can talk, it's all curtesy and keeping up appearances, what's that you always say? Something about - oh- what is it - something about starting-"

"Don't start unless they're apart. Yes, yes. Fair enough. We like to keep manners. They cost nothing I'll have you know."

"Except patience."

They both laughed, together. Peering into each others eyes, trying to read what the other was thinking. Alfred's sea blue gaze seemed distanced and glazed, where as Arthur's was wet with tears and raw emotions.

Alfred kissed his cheek and sat back.

"I do love you, Arthur. It's just hard for me. Hard for us, to love eachother, isn't it? I mean, it's illegal for goodness sake. Can't get any more hard than that." There was no laugh this time, no sad smile, no forlorn chuckle. There was just an empty, crippling silence.

"We'll do it, Alfred. Something, something'll work itself out. Just stay strong, and don't risk yourself, one Arthur isn't worth a thousand Alfred's."

Alfred's eyes mosaiced, blurred and spun.

"I think," he said "you'll find it's the other way around."

A/N: Hey! I'm Lux, this story is also available on my quotev " www . Quotev Strawberriesandcream " just remove the spaces and go check me out! If you like this chapter, I'm not going to ask you to do anything, but I'd like to say thank you! Any time spent sennding a review would be so so so appreciated! Thank you for reading! I'm also new to creating work on this site, so you'll have to forgive me as I gain my bearings on how to use the formatting.