Luigi's Guide To Women By: Luigi
Introduction
Are you tired of being second place to the other guy?
Are you tired of losing the girl you save from a Overrated orange turtle/lizard overlord that wants to kill both you and your brother?
Are you sick of being underrated by women?
If you said yes to any of the following then you should be glad that you are reading this book! I am Luigi (No Last Name) and I am about to show you how to get the women of your dreams.
Part One: Pick-up Lines
Pick-up lines are a essential to getting a girl. If you use a exciting pick up line that isn't overused and ten years old she might actually fall for it right then and there. Girls like pick-up lines even if they say they don't.
Examples:
Are you a Fire Flower? Because you are burning me up.
If I had a choice, I would rather spend my 100 coins on you instead of on a extra life. I know how Mario (and Luigi) must feel, 'cause I really want to clean your pipes. Are you a Magic Mushroom? Because you are making me grow.
Part Two: Where to meet Women
Meeting women can be tricky. Depending on what kind of girl you are looking for changes where you need to search.
Smart girl: Library
Drinker: Bar
Slut: Strip clubs and Modern day Middle Schools
Sporty: Gym and or any place athletic
Princess: In a cage, being held against her will by a giant orange lizard.
Sub. Part Two: Where NOT to meet Women
Examples of places not to meet women are...
Prison
Nursing home
Transgender club
In front of a Tv watching Justin Biebers: Never Say Never
Part Three: How to talk to Women
Never go for the nice guy approach when talking to women. It never works and you get stuck in the friend zone. (I am Luigi, trust me I know what the friend zone feels like.) Always go for the SWAG walk. What is the Swag walk? Well first pull your pants down to your ankles and make sure you have your hat backwards and make sure you give the middle finger to all elders. Then once you mastered that make sure you hit her with one of those PickUp lines! Congratulations you can know approach women.
Put it all together
So let us recap. First find the pickup line you are going to use. Then find the appropriate place to find this girl. Then enter with your swag walk and BAM! Women will be all over you. You do not have to thank me! Trust me I am Luigi! And we all know Luigi is a total Star with the ladies. Right?... Nobody?... Is this thing on? Anyways, you are now ready to pick up any women you want. (Just make sure they aren't interested in your brother)
About the Author
Luigi (No last name) was born in a unknown location on a unknown year. He enjoys playing Golf, Tennis, and karting. Luigi's biggest accomplishment is the Luigi's Mansion Video game series. Other accomplishments are 2nd place winner in the Mario awards. 2nd place winner in the 2nd place awards. And he got 2nd place in practically every other competition he has ever entered. Luigi lives in the Mushroom Kingdom and he likes spending his time Talking with friends and washing his overalls. His most prized possessions are his signature Green Hat and So-Not-A-Blatant-Copy of Mario's Mustache.
Make Sure you also check out "How to be Brave By: Luigi" and "How to Hunt Ghosts By:Luigi" Coming to the Mushroom Kingdom in 2067