I KA WA MA MUA, I KA WA MA HOPE - THE FUTURE IS IN THE PAST

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or the characters.

A/N: Hi everyone, here's my take on what I think happened in between the actual scenes. Don't get me wrong it was an excellent and sensational episode, but I truly missed a few things that I would've loved seeing. As usual I just started writing and it completely got out of control. It could've been a one shot, but I'm currently writing chapter ten.

Yes, I know what you're thinking, this episode aired last year around the holidays. So it's true, it took me a full year to write this story, and yet it feels like it's the shittiest one ever. Would've loved to spent more time on this piece, but I didn't have much free time the past year.

This story is not nearly finished and I have no idea how long it's going to take for me to write the several chapters that are still wandering my mind. I don't think it's gonna take another full year, so since it's a story centered around the holidays I decided to start posting as it would be weird to read a Christmas tale in spring or even summer. Bear with me while I try to finish as fast as I can.

My apologies for any grammar mistakes, there's no beta on this one and it's not because I think I don't need it, it's because I know it takes a lot to beta read. We all live busy life's especially with the holidays coming up. Nonetheless, enjoy reading!

CHAPTER ONE PART l

When doctor Keller told Steve to make an incision in Danny's chest. Steve was overwhelmed with angst. Terrified to be exact. He was asked to cut with a knife so sharp that an attempt of saving his friend's life, could escalate with one wrong move into ending Danny's life. At the moment there was no other choice and if cutting with a scalpel into the chest wall would stabilize Steve's partner, he would do it, no questions asked.

Even with his heart caught in his throat. His thoughts running 100 miles an hour. Beads of sweat covering his forehead and while his body was trembling with adrenaline. Even then he would do it. Only given the situation of being locked in by a motion censored bomb, Steve needed someone to tell him that if what he was about to do would go wrong, people would be able to come in to save his best friend either way. Hell, he needed more than such an assurance. He needed a promise.

While holding onto the respirator, Steve looked up to the one team member standing outside the Quarantine unit. Anxious tears were burning in Steve's eyes while his heart hammered in his chest. "Hey Lou, tell me you're getting us out of here."

"All we need is a couple minutes. We are going to get you out of there."

For Steve's sake, the procedure did stabilize Danny for the time being. And nonetheless, Lou kept his promise. Even when the wall didn't completely come down after the small explosion, Lou worked on keeping his promise and started bringing it down with a sledgehammer. In no time doctors came running in, they wheeled Danny out of the room and rushed him to the O.R.

Watching his partner getting wheeled out Steve realized the strong urge to do whatever it took, to help his friend, wasn't about the need to be the one that saved Danny's life. Actually, the opposite was what mattered most to him. He couldn't have been the one that let his friend die. However, after they took Danny up for surgery, it was out of Steve's hands. Which had made everything worse and the thought of losing Danny made him sick to his stomach. Danny just had to be okay. He had to survive.

Being a trained Navy SEAL, Steve knew surviving was just a matter of pushing through and facing whatever would come his way. It was a state of mind, and luckily for him, he was genetically wired that way. For Steve, his friends and family were the power within his wires. Even when something happened to either of them, he would fight through. He would survive because that's just simply what he does. It was in his nature to think like that. To always fight his way through the battle and conquer his fears. Survive. No matter what, he would survive.

Except for today. For the first time in his life, if he would lose Danny, Steve knew he wouldn't survive that kind of loss. More important; he wouldn't want to survive.

06:17 PM KING'S MEDICAL CENTER - WAITING ROOM - SURGICAL FLOOR

Every human being would be bored if they were cooped up in a waiting room for three straight hours. Not Steve McGarrett. He was already bored if he had to wait for five minutes. Let alone waiting for several hours in a waiting room. One that was filled with people and barely any personal space. As those hours had passed by Steve was going crazy and willing to check himself in at a mental institution. On top of going crazy because of the long wait, his mind was also spinning on everything that had happened earlier that day. It simply had been a straightforward attempt to kill Danny. The man came in, chose Danny and pulled the trigger trying to kill him.

In just a matter of seconds, life had completely turned around, and it was not for the better. Steve had no clue on why the man shot Danny, especially since Danny didn't even recognize him. Despite the fact that he couldn't identify the shooter, he regardlessly got shot in a blink of an eye. Steve had stopped thinking about the gunman as his mind had been occupied with finding ways to keep his partner alive and stable. Only now during this frightening long wait, his mind drifted back, willing to find answers. Answers he didn't have.

Luckily Kamekona decided to brighten up the mood and ended the horrible silence in which you could figuratively hear all minds spinning of everyone who was around. The five-0 task force along with, Eric, Adam, Kamekona, and Flippa were all anxiously waiting to hear if Danny was going to make it. After a little banter about Steve's new haircut, someone he knew finally walked through the door of the waiting area. Instead of leaning against the pinkish counter, Steve straightened and went up to the seasoned doctor he met a few days prior to the shooting. "Hey, Doc."

Following Steve's lead, everyone stood up from their uncomfortable seats and gathered around Dr. Keller. Nobody dared to say something, they just waited for the surgeon to speak up.

The doctor placed his hands on his hips and let out a deep sigh. "It was, uh, touch and go for a while, but, um…" the man paused, and with each passing second the dreadful silent grew longer. Fear crossed Steve's face, his eyes glistened with some tears from anxiety. Please let him be fine. Repeat. The refrain pounded in his brain as loudly as the sharp gunshot that pierced Danny's chest that day. Dr. Keller clearly needed to shake off some tension from performing a life-threatening surgery, but eventually, he went on. "He pulled through,"

Steve put his hands on his hips and briefly bowed his head. He closed his eyes, letting all the awful thoughts that wandered his mind disappear. He didn't even notice, but when he let out a huge exhale, he figured he had been holding his breath waiting until the doctor confirmed his hopes and prayers. Receiving the good news, all of them cheered in their own way.

Doctor Keller double confirmed, showing a small smile this time. "He's gonna be okay." With those words, everybody was reassured, and some started high-fiving each other, putting their minds at rest.

Eric was beyond relieved and responded as overly excited as he sometimes could be. "Can we see him?"

"He's not conscious yet, but as soon as he is, we'll get you in there." The doctor promised.

Steve hadn't moved yet, the day had taken such an absurd turn that he needed a moment to process. Every hostile thought of losing his best friend luckily remained just a thought. Losing Danny was something he wasn't near being ready to let it ever be real. "Thanks, Doc."

Tani placed her hand on Dr. Keller's shoulder and looked sincere at the man. "Thank you."

Steve gave the doctor a firm handshake and a quick embrace, expressing his gratitude. Dr. Keller accepted and glanced once more around the room before stepping out again. Steve turned as a hand touched his shoulder. Junior patted a few times, and a broad smile beamed on his face. Adam pulled Eric in a hug, many others followed the example and hugs were being shared. For a moment Steve couldn't believe the wait was finally over. Realizing that, he opened his arms to give Tani a brief hug. The kid had done well given the situation. Both Tani and Junior did though. They hadn't known each other for an extensive amount of time, but the way they acted today, Steve knew they both had become family.

Although Steve was relieved by the good news, he couldn't shake the feeling he had in his gut. While the doctor delivered the update, Steve noticed that Dr. Keller was tensed when he said it was touch and go for a while. Something had gone wrong, or at least something had happened. Steve was certain about it, he could feel it. He left the waiting room without giving any notice. His eyes were fixated on the one man that could give him some answers. Dr. Keller. He was standing at the end of the hallway near a whiteboard hanging on the wall. Approaching the doctor, Steve saw him erase a name from the medical board. Williams, D.

Steve cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Doc?"

The man in question turned around. "Commander McGarrett, anything I can help you with?"

Steve scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, um, you said it was touch and go for a while? It made me wonder if there were any complications during the surgery? I mean, I'm aware it was a close call back in quarantine, but after I alleviated the pressure in his chest, he seemed stabilized, right?"

Dr. Keller gave him a lopsided grin. "I figured you would see right through me," he admitted before he went straight to the point. "Commander, you did stabilize him; unfortunately, that was only a temporary fix. We got detective Williams as quickly as possible to the O.R, which was in his favor. Only when I surgically placed the chest tube and started working on repairing his chest wall, he went into traumatic cardiac arrest."

Steve's face went blank, and his stomach dropped. "His heart stopped?"

"It did, but with a series of chest compressions, we were able to get his heart working properly again. The arrest didn't take long, so I don't foresee any problems with brain function due to oxygen deprivation," the doctor continued as Steve probably didn't seem convinced by the short explanation. "Commander, cardiac arrest is a potential complication of a traumatic tension pneumothorax. In fact, not getting the oxygen he needed because of the puncture, it leads to hypoxemia, in which oxygen-poor blood is unable to supply cells, tissues, and organs with the oxygen they need. This caused severe dysfunction of his cardiovascular system."

Not completely understanding what the doctor was saying Steve placed his hands on his hips, hunching his shoulders. "Okay, but he's fine now, right? No aftermath?"

"I'm not gonna lie, there are some concerns. Scar tissue for example. As his lung heals, it may develop scar tissue at the site of the puncture. This tough tissue can cause permanent breathing difficulties, as it can interfere with the expansion and contraction during in- and exhalation. The scarring to the pleura can develop after treatment and can result in intermittent, sharp, localized, chest pain in short term. So if it does occur, we'll know soon enough," doctor Keller quickly tried to comfort as Steve's solicitous feelings, matched his facial expression.

However, the doctor wasn't finished yet. "Second, the bullet missed his heart by three millimeters. So once the wound starts to heal, layers of tissue will start building up from the inside. It might cause some adhesions, and I can't promise whether it interferes with his heart function. It will be something that can occur later on, but during the cardiac follow-ups, they can monitor this closely."

Directly being worried, Steve covered his mouth with his hand and smoothed downwards. "That sounds quite serious and not like just some concerns."

"It does, but at the moment he's doing fine. He's young, living an active and healthy life. We'll get serious once any of that occurs. For now, detective Williams will need his rest. His chest might feel sore, and the rest of his body went through major trauma, but I expect him to feel slightly better in a few days." Dr. Keller reassured.

Steve nodded understandingly. There was one thing left that bothered him, so he asked. "I know we have to wait until he's conscious and all, but is there any chance someone can be with him when he wakes up? It doesn't feel right that he's alone."

Dr. Keller remained quiet. He sighed before he spoke. "I'll make an exception this time, but he needs his rest, so I'll allow one person to be with him," the male physician grabbed a tablet from the stationing dock aside from him. "Commander, any relatives have precedence."

"Yeah, of course," Steve swallowed trying to hide his disappointment. He'd rather go himself, but he understood the doctor's perspective.

"I don't know which one of them is his closest Family?" Dr. Keller looked aside Steve, referring to all the people in the room at the end of the hallway.

Steve glanced over his shoulder back into the waiting area. The Ohana were still hugging each other after receiving the good news. Watching them, Steve suddenly noticed that nobody except Eric were Danny's real family. Saddened by the fact that Danny's closest family couldn't be with him, Steve felt overwhelmed that the waiting room was filled nonetheless. He faced the doctor again and pointed with his thumb back toward Eric standing a few yards behind him. "Actually only his nephew is here."

"Okay, so no parents, brothers or sisters or maybe a spouse we should contact? What about his ex-wife and kids? Have they been notified?" Dr. Keller wondered.

"We have notified all of them. Only his parents and sisters live in New Jersey, so I don't think they'll come. His ex-wife and kids are coming back from the mainland though, but that will take a while before they can be here. So, for now, it's just Eric, Danny's nephew." Steve explained.

"Good, my guess is he'll be pleased to see him," the doctor smiled comfortingly. "I'll be checking up on Detective Williams first thing, so the boy might have to wait a couple of minutes, but you can send him up to the PACU."

Steve smiled in return. "Great, I'll tell the kid." Dr. Keller nodded agreeing. Steve turned and walked back to the waiting area.

-TOBECONTINUED-