A/N: ...Yeah, no idea why I wrote this. ._. This is based off the beginning to Skyward Sword.

Disclaimer: I may have a bunch of Zelda games, but I do not actually own it...

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"You know what has to happen now, right?" Zelda asks as she gets right up in Link's face.

"...My answers are Nope, Kind of, or Uh oh." Link replies since he apparently has an option for what to say. Zelda leaned forward a bit and just as Link was expecting it, he got a totally different response.

She pushed him off the ledge.

She left him to plummet to his impending doom off of the statue of the goddess. How mean is that! If he didn't have that stupid sailcloth he would probably die. Buuuut unfortunately for him, he ended up hitting the statue since he couldn't steer and the unknown force that was controlling him couldn't either.

"OW!" Link yelled as he landed roughly at the base of the statue.

"CUT!" The director called, "Link my man, you are supposed to land INSIDE the circle!" He scolded.

"Nobody told me or the player how to do that!" Link yelled angrily. He could hear something, and when he looked up at the statue, he could see Zelda laughing her ass off.

"YOUR FACE WAS PRICELESS!" She howled as she laughed, Link looked embarrassed and upset which only mad her laugh more. The director sighed.

"Okay guys, take two."

Link looked at him in disbelief, "I have to do that again!" He exclaimed. "Yep, since you didn't make it the first time, you have to try again!"

"Wait... How do I get back up there?" Link asked with a puzzled tone. The director pointed towards a ladder. "Use that. The player won't see it so you will magically reappear up there and do it again. But don't worry; Zelda won't push you this time." The director gave Link a pat on the back and pushed him towards the ladder. Link climbed it and cursed to himself as he did so.

Once he got to the top, the director yelled action. Zelda started to speak, "Okay, this time I won't push you." The rest of the things she said were things that didn't apply to Link so he just looked at her pretending to be interested. Like seriously, what in the world is a 'Wii remote?'

After she finished her tedious explanation that the player probably didn't read, he dashed (which made the little weird green wheel beside him fade) and jumped off the ledge to his impending doom. And since the player didn't bother to read what Zelda had said, he ended up face first far away from the circle that he was supposed to land in.

"CUT!" The director yelled again. Link got up and the director said, "Okay, so you missed this time. Get back up there!"

Link climbed the tedious ladder again, promising that someday he would push Zelda off the statue and see how she felt about it!

Once he reached the top, Zelda said, "Okay, this time I won't push you." And then began to explain the directions again, as if the brain dead player didn't comprehend them the first time.

Link jumped off the edge again and this time –apparently the player paid attention- landed right by the circle. Link sighed in relief that he was done now. But when the director yelled cut and he was told to do it again, he was not happy in the slightest.

Zelda said the exact same thing again, leaving Link extremely pissed and wanting to maim somebody. He dashed off the edge and fell- again. This time however, he was inside the circle! He thought he was home free, until the director yelled cut. AGAIN.

"OH WHAT NOW!" Link yelled as he turned to face the director. The director looked at him sternly and said, "You need to be at the exact middle of the circle!" He pointed towards to ladder and Link started to climb it again.

256 tries later (1) and the player FINALLY got it. Once he had been inside the circle, he jumped for joy. That is, until Zelda came down flying on her bird.

At this point, Link finally snapped.

"WHY COULDN'T I JUST FLY DOWN ON MY BIRD!" Link exclaimed loudly. The other minor characters gathered around.

Headmaster Gaebora walked up and addressed the director, "I was looking into the script and noticed that after Zelda get's kidnapped (big surprise) that I am not that sad, seriously, what gives? She's my daughter!" He complained.

Link, who was far too angry to deal with anyone else's problem, snapped at Gaebora, "Be quiet you stupid owl! (2) Nobody wants to listen to you and your stupid monologues and supposedly 'helpful advice' especially when you are somehow reincarnated! Yeah, don't think I don't see through your disguise!" Link ranted while waving his arms in the air.

"...Damnit..." Gaebora said, "I thought nobody would catch on to the striking resemblance and having the exact same name..." Just for old times sake, he added, "Would you like to hear that again?"

"Yes... I mean what? No!" Link shouted, but it was too late.

"I thought nobody would catch on to the strikin-" "SHUT UP!"

As this was going on, Zelda got bored and started to walk off; not before Link grabbed her, though.

"Where do you think you're going! I have to repay you for pushing me off the ledge TWICE already!" Link turned to the director, "AND YOU! Why do I have to sit here for hours before I can actually go to the Temple?" He questioned. The director shrugged and said, "Dunno, because we felt like it."

By this time, smoke was coming out of Link's ears. How he could put up with all the abuse over the 25 years he had been doing this, he didn't know.

What did he do? He freaked out.

"This is stupid! Why must I always go through a boring intro that nobody cares about? Why can't I get to the game part of the freaking game and kill some zombies, or God forbid, those ReDeads! Oh yeah, question. Do those appear in this game?" Link stopped mid rant to ask.

"No idea. The author doesn't know either. But, probably not since this game seems so light hearted and easy that we wouldn't bother to add something that has scared the pants off of children for years."

Links anger boiled down a bit at the possibility of not being screamed at, but he was still angry.

"Well... That isn't the only thing the matter! What about this!" He yelled and pointed at the green wheel beside him, "A stamina bar? Really? You made me run up walls this time which is cool, BUT A STAMINA BAR? YOU GOTTA BE FREAKING KIDDING ME! Some people enjoy watching my pain and suffering you know, and now you are going to let them watch me be totally exhausted in the wake of death? REALLY! Oh yeah, and another thing, the fact that I keep falling off edges yet the player feels NO PENALTY to watching me die is just cruel. Even when the knights save me I look like a fool! And what's this about having my shield break? Do you want me to not be able to defend myself from evil when I actually need to!" Link stopped his rant and puffed out air. He sighed, "At least there is no Navi or Midna..."

The director paled slightly, "Um... Well, you don't have to deal with either of them... But you do have a helper..." Link's eyes widened.

"W-W-Who...?"

"Master Link, I have no help for you at this time. Your enemies you have faced are 0 so I cannot do a proper analysis." Fi spoke up.

"FFFFFFFUUUUUUU"

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1. True story.

2. My mind was blown when somebody told me this. It is actually true, too!

Playing Skyward Sword a ton + Needing to write something and actually finish it + An overwhelming sense of insanity = The perfect recipe for a crackfic.

I really don't even know what this is. My fingers just typed...

Oh well, review please! I give cookies to reviewers!