Disclaimer: If you haven't noticed, this is a Fanfiction website. As in, I don't own anything. Characters, etc. belong to Tite Kubo.
Warnings: M/M, yaoi, slash, gayness; profanity; canon-divergence; very angsty
Rating: M
Pairing(s): 8Quin (Szayelaporro Granz/Uryuu Ishida)
Pertinent information: This was requested by the wonderful Himorin. Things get pretty dark, but bear with it until the end.
Summary: Uryuu and Szayel have recognized each other as equals, and have even started a relationship, of sorts. Things are going well, until everything is shattered. Is it possible to recover something that's assumed to have been lost completely?
On the Topography of Pluto
Most would believe that Uryuu Ishida and Szayelaporro Granz were antithetical at best; yet here they both were fettered to one another as the sun and moon. If he tried, Uryuu doubted that he would be able to catalogue the series of events that had culminated in his current predilection for psychoses-ridden scientist. To put it simply, they were fucking.
At least, that's how Uryuu liked to justify their paradoxical relationship. He wasn't grandiose enough to place himself on the pedestal occupied by Romeo and Juliet, though Szayel would certainly do so without hesitation. Uryuu was a Quincy, dedicated to the preservation of human life. Szayel was an Espada, dedicated to the extermination of human life. They were opposites, yes, but all the more suitable for the other for it. They were equals, one existence balancing the other's.
Ironically, it was their differences that threw their similarities into the limelight. They had mirrored each other's lives, to a point. Their overwhelming sense of isolation was shared, intelligence unmatched by those around them. They'd always been just different enough from those around them to fit in without truly belonging.
Szayel and Uryuu's first meeting had been laced with recognition, the kind that can only be born of watching everyone else through a glass window your entire life and finally encountering somebody on your side of the pane. Mutual interest had been sparked. They had connected intellectually, not to mention physically. Did they love each other? No. That wouldn't suit either of them. Uryuu's Pride wouldn't allow himself to love a monster, and he was certain Szayel wasn't capable of the emotion.
Uryuu exhaled deeply. His mind really wandered into strange territory when he couldn't sleep. He was happy, he knew that. The proof was lying next to him, after all. Tenderly, he pushed a loose strand of pink hair behind the Octava Espada's ear. It wasn't fair how angelic the sleeping man looked. Whoever said there was no rest for the wicked was a shameless liar.
Uryuu hadn't even been aware that Hollows, and by extension arrancars, could sleep before he had started this arrangement with Szayel. The scientist had informed him that sleep wasn't a necessity, but insisted that if Uryuu was going to sleep, he wanted to sleep with him. The raven-haired boy secretly found this display of Szayel's childish side to be adorable. That had been before they'd even had sex together.
How long had they been sheltered from the war raging around them? They had first encountered the other face to face soon after Uryuu had invaded Las Noches with his friends. Uryuu later discovered that Szayel had deliberately manipulated their surroundings so that they would cross paths. Instead of fighting, the Quincy had agreed to the Octava's offer of exchanging words.
Somehow, Uryuu still wasn't quite clear on that, their diplomatic talk had ended in the boy staying in the scientist's laboratory. They had started a relationship several weeks later. By Uryuu's calculation they'd been together romantically for three months. It all felt very surreal, as if he might wake up at any moment. By now though, Uryuu didn't think that he wanted to be roused from such a pleasant dream.
Shifting restlessly, Uryuu closed the distance between himself and Szayel. Strong, thin arms encircled him, drawing him even closer to the sleeping man, as if desperate to convince the boy of their reality. Uryuu sighed in contentment, sinking into the embrace. Two eyes, the color of molten gold, slid open. Uryuu stared into them, enjoying the drowning feeling he experienced.
"Is my little experiment having trouble sleeping?" The words were said too lowly, too smoothly to shatter the perfect silence. Instead they merely wove through the dark unobtrusively. Not even the presence of that obnoxious pet name, for lack of a better word, was enough to break the peace. Uryuu had long since stopped trying to get Szayel to cease referring to him as his experiment, realizing that stopping the minor aggravation that he felt upon hearing the term was hardly worth the effort.
"Yes, I am," Uryuu replied softly. He tilted his head upwards and lightly brushed his lips across Szayel's. He shot the man a coquettish look from the side of his eyes. "What do you propose to do about it?"
The pink-haired man smirked. "Why do I have to do anything?" The teasing question was accompanied by a hand trailing gently up and down Uryuu's side.
Uryuu caught the caressing hand by the wrist and brought it in front of his face. Locking eyes with Szayel, he seductively drew one finger into his mouth, tracing his tongue around the digit. "I'm your experiment, aren't I? Doesn't that mean that you should take care of my... needs?" His voice dropped in pitch.
Szayel groaned in appreciation. "How can I argue with such irrefutable logic? I have a few ideas on how we can tire you out." His grin widened. "That is, if you're willing to place yourself in my capable hands."
The boy simpered around the other man's finger. "I think I can do that." He pulled Szayel in for a slow kiss, allowing the pink-haired man complete control, knowing it turned him on. The other man shifted so that he was hovering over Uryuu, without breaking their lip lock. He ran his dextrous fingers over the boy's ribcage, enjoying the moan it provoked. He brought his hands up to the boy's nipples, thumbing them lightly and Uryuu gasped into his mouth.
Taking the cue, Szayel removed his lips from Uryuu's and replaced them on the boys neck. Taking his time, he licked the salt from the boy's skin, laving the tender flesh. Uryuu buried his hands in the man's pink hair and threw his head back. No matter how many times they did this, it only seemed to get better. Probably due to Szayel's unpredictability.
Uryuu exhaled sharply as the other man started sucking a downward trail towards his collarbones, leaving a trail of abused and reddened flesh in his wake. "You belong to me." Szayel punctuated his statement with a harsh bite at the junction between Uryuu's neck and shoulder. He licked the forming bruise soothingly before moving to the boy's chest. Szayel took one of Uryuu's nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue and using a hand to toy with the other, lightly rubbing the nub. Uryuu moaned at the contact, pulling slightly on the hair in his hands.
Szayel looked up at him with a satisfied smirk. "Enjoying ourselves, are we?" The question was rhetorical, and Uryuu answered with a pleased groan. They were both very vocal during sex, the pink-haired man choosing to use words and the raven-haired boy's preferred medium being noises of enjoyment. Szayel kissed his way down Uryuu's abdomen, leaving light scratches with his nails as he did so. The boy shuddered, enjoying the tenderness combined with the slight stinging sensation.
Despite the man's impatience in other things, he was quite the tease during sex, for which Uryuu was simultaneously grateful and unappreciative of in the moment. Szayel's pace was agonizingly slow, and the boy was agonizingly rock hard and dripping. His mouth was moving closer, closer, but not close enough. They were both already naked from the night's earlier activities, so cloth barriers weren't the problem. The man was deliberately skirting the area that Uryuu wanted him to touch, to kiss, to lick the most. He whined in frustration and felt Szayel smile against his skin. "I'm sorry, is there something you want?"
"Just touch me already," Uryuu ordered, tone dripping vexation. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific. I'm afraid I have absolutely no idea what you desire," the feigned innocence in Szayel's voice was ludicrous. "I am touching you. Perhaps you meant here?" Fingers moved to Uryuu's side. "Or was it here?" Hands dropped to the boys thighs. "No, you must have meant here, didn't you?" The touch moved to his ass. Uryuu glared, before giving in. Prolonging it would only be bad for him after all.
"I want you to touch my co- Fucking shit!" Szayel had interrupted him mid sentence by taking his entire length into his mouth in one smooth motion. Uryuu's hips stuttered upward and he released a long whine. The man pulled off with a simply obscene popping noise. Grinning he spoke, "now that wasn't so hard was it?" He glanced downward contemplatively. "Well, it is now." Before Uryuu could respond, Szayel ducked down again, tracing patterns with his tongue along his cock. The drag of lips and wet heat encompassing Uryuu's senses.
Head bobbing, Szayel used one hand to fondle the boy's balls. The other hand was occupied with rooting around for the lube next to the bed. Uryuu was in too much of a pleasured haze to fully comprehend the purpose of the man's actions. All he knew was he felt great and Szayel's tongue was sinfully talented. Speaking of which, the man had pulled back to the point of mouthing at the head of Uryuu's dick. Without warning, he relaxed his throat and slid down inch by inch. Uryuu keened, bucking his hips, the tip of his length hitting the back of the man's throat. Szayel laughed, sending delicious vibrations throughout his cock. It was bliss.
Uryuu moaned as Szayel used his distraction to slip a finger slick with lube into the boy's entrance. The digit began moving in and out. "More," he groaned out. Without hesitation, the man inserted another finger, making a scissoring motion. Szayel moved his body upward too kiss Uryuu, leaving his fingers inside the boy. He added another finger, curling them just right, hitting the boy's prostate. Uryuu melted into the pressure, impatience quelled by the sensuality of the slow pace.
Considering their last union had only been a few hours previously, that much preparation hadn't been necessary, but Uryuu enjoyed the care being shown. At this point, he was actively moving his hips, welcoming the fingers inside. Before long, Szayel pulled away. The boy watched through lowered eyes as the man slicked up his impressive length. Uryuu sat up. "Szayel, let me." The man raised an eyebrow. "Aren't I supposed to be attending to you tonight?" Nonetheless, he handed over the lubricant.
The boy took the other man's cock into his hand, spreading the lube liberally. He caressed Sazeyl's dick several times, enjoying the weight and feel of it in his hand. The boy traced the Hollow hole on the glans, knowing it was particularly sensitive. The man hissed at the contact. "Mm, such a good boy, Uryuu," he purred. The boy's finger continued it's journey, ghosting over the Gothic eight, in stark relief despite the darkness, on the underside of the man's length.
Szayel gently laid Uryuu back down. He pushed in gently, and set a gradual pace, rocking his hips forward. He clasped the boys hands in his own, leaning down and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Their bodies moved in perfect unison, nothing hurried about their actions. Deep, sensual kisses were exchanged. The fit together exactly, like pieces of a puzzle, knowing exactly how to please the other. Uryuu gave himself over completely to Szayel and his ministrations, enjoying everything that he received and giving back just as much in return.
A warm heat was spreading throughout Uryuu's body, coiling in his stomach. His azure eyes were closed as he was enveloped by the sensations, enveloped by Szayel. The overwhelming feelings of pleasure rose to a crescendo, and Uryuu climaxed, moaning into the other man's mouth. He received a drawn out satisfied sigh in return, and could feel Szayel's warmth filling him. They were connected, as much as was possible, two halves of the same whole, filled and entirely consumed by the other.
Reaching to the side, Szayel grabbed a cloth and wiped first Uryuu, and then himself clean. He settled back at Uryuu's side drawing the boy close and settling his chin atop the other's head. Szayel's embrace felt warm and safe. The boy was already drifting off to sleep when he distantly heard the other whisper into his raven hair. "Sweet dreams, little one." Uryuu fell asleep, somewhat paradoxically, to the comforting sound of Szayel's beating heart.
No, they didn't love each other.
Uryuu woke up the next morning, so accustomed to the guilt flooding his system that instantly repressing it came automatically. Yawning, he arched his back with a satisfied stretch, one hand reaching habitually towards the right side of the bed. When his searching fingers met only with air, he rolled over entirely. From what he could see, which admittedly wasn't very much, Szayel was nowhere to be found. That was odd.
The man seemed to have some sort of fascination with Uryuu's sleeping face, and the boy usually woke up to Szayel's golden eyes trained on his face and an uncharacteristically soft smile gracing the man's face. Initially, Uryuu had been slightly freaked out by the attention, but without his knowledge he'd started to love the feeling of Szayel's ever present gaze.
It was flattering, in a way, to be the object of so much affection. Not affection, he reminded himself, it was more like obsession. The scientist was only captivated by Uryuu's uniqueness, he didn't actually care for the boy. And he was fine with that, really. Anything more, genuine affection or worse, love, would be wrong. Uryuu would be betraying everything he believed in by engaging in such a sordid affair. Everything was perfect as it was.
Groping around on the endtable adjacent to the bed, Uryuu located his glasses. The world made itself known in sharp focus and he decided it was time to actually leave the bed. He felt the empty space next to him one last time, irrationally feeling a slight pang of loss. Just because he hadn't awoken entangled in Szayel's embrace this one time, he was acting like a rejected teenage girl. It was ridiculous, Uryuu concluded that he'd been spoiled by his time spent with the man.
Besides, Szayel's side of the mattress was still warm, meaning he couldn't have been gone for very long. At this moment, the man was most likely waiting for Uryuu with breakfast ready. The boy had never actually seen Szayel eat anything, but Uryuu had a feeling that he didn't really want to know. It might complicate things, and he was fine with eating while the other man spoke.
If that was the case, then Uryuu had best hurry. Szayel didn't take particularly well to waiting; and if Uryuu was honest with himself, he wanted to see the man as soon as possible. Entirely naked, the boy padded across the floor, his toes sinking into the plush, violet carpet. He entered the bathroom and shivered as his bare feet came into contact with cool tile.
Stepping into the shower, Uryuu turned on the water and quickly moved under the warm spray. The wet sound of the droplets pounding against the tiles echoed throughout the small room. It had been a long time since the boy had showered alone, and the stall felt disconcertingly large. The repetitive drum of the water only added to the encroaching feeling of emptiness.
Uryuu shook his head in an attempt to dispel his absurd thoughts. What was his problem today? He hastily washed himself and left the bathroom. The once comforting steam had become oppressive, both his thoughts and vision clouded. The boy only needed to get dressed, and then he'd be able to join Szayel. Giving into temptation and hoping to pacify his abnormal neediness, Uryuu elected to wear a pair of the pink-haired man's white hakama pants, and nothing else.
There wasn't much point when, if Uryuu's current mood was anything to go by, they would be removed soon enough anyway. The boy also new that Szayel loved his skin, and walking around like this left his chest exposed. He gave himself the once over in the mirror, admiring the bruises and bite marks littering his pale skin. Szayel had made it pretty clear who Uryuu belonged to, and the irrefutable evidence of being so intensely desired calmed him.
The boy set off in search of the other man, footsteps reverberating through the still air of Szayel's laboratory. It was rather eerie. As he was walking past the scientist's bay of monitors, Uryuu caught sight of a flash of activity on one of the screens. Moving closer, he recognized Szayel's image. What was the Octava doing in the labyrinth? Something seemed off about the man as well. Realization hit Uryuu, knocking the breath from his lungs. Szayel wasn't moving. Szayel was laying in a pool of blood. Szayel wasn't moving and was laying in a pool of blood.
Horrified, Uryuu took in the disturbing scene. Red leaked from several nasty gashes in the Octava's torso, staining the white cloth of his clothing and spreading across the floor, mingling with the pink of the man's hair. Uryuu felt like he was drowning. Szayel's golden eyes were wide open, frozen in shock. Uryuu would never be under their intense scrutiny again. The boy tore his own azure eyes away. It was too much, too wrong. There was no way Szayel could be dead, he was Szayel Aporro Granz, the Octava Espada. He wouldn't just die like that. He wouldn't leave Uryuu alone. He couldn't.
Uryuu ran to the entrance to Szayel's domain, thinking only of getting to the man's side. His movements were panicked and uncoordinated as he scrabbled frantically for the handle. It was locked. All rational thought left Uryuu's head replaced with a mantra of 'Szayel's alive, he's alive, he's alive, he's alive.' The boy clawed fruitlessly at the unyielding door, tearing the skin of his fingers with the friction. After what seemed like hours later, exhausted, he collapsed to the floor, hands rubbed raw and bleeding. Uryuu curled into a fetal position and waited for the darkness to claim him.
Vaguely, he heard an explosion above him, and felt the cascade of rubble. "Guys get over here! I found Uryuu! Uryuu! Are you okay? Awnser me, dammit." The voice calling him was achingly familiar, but Uryuu didn't want to open his eyes. If he woke up, things would be real again. He didn't want the world to be real. Someone was shaking him. "Uryuu, it's me Ichigo. Wake up!"
Oh, so it was Ichigo, then, Uryuu thought distantly. But he wanted to see Szayel. The Quincy opened one eye and saw a look of relief cross his friend's face. The raven-haired boy licked his lips before whispering, "Szayel?" The substitute shinigami's face scrunched up in confusion and he cupped his ear with a hand. "Szayel..." Uryuu said slightly louder. It was all that he could manage.
Ichigo nodded in understanding, and adopted a comforting expression. "Don't worry, Uryuu. I killed the bastard. You're safe now." No, that couldn't be. Uryuu had seen it, but having verbal confirmation just hammered the nail deeper into the coffin. His body went limp. He didn't care about anything anymore. "Uryuu!" Ichigo sounded panicked. "We have to get him back soon, he looks real bad. Look at all the scratches and bruises on his body. Who knows what else that monster did." The world was crumbling to pieces, everything fracturing and shattering. Uryuu passed out.
Uryuu woke up, his body sore. "I had the worst nightmare." His voice was scratchy with sleep. "How do you plan on making me feel better?" As he was wont to do, he reached toward the right side of the bed. The boy bolted upright when he grabbed nothing but air. His body protested the sudden movement with a bolt of sharp pain. Looking around, Uryuu recognized his surroundings as the Kurosaki family's clinic.
But that must mean...no... He wouldn't accept it. Uryuu's inner torment was interrupted by a timid knock on the door. "Come in," he said after a moment. An auburn haired girl entered the room, closing the door softly behind her. She walked over and sat in the chair beside Uryuu's hospital bed. "Orihime... I'm glad you're alright." He wasn't sure what else to say.
She burst into tears, and Uryuu sat their awkwardly. "I'm so sorry!" The words were gasped out between heaving sobs. "It took us so long to get to you. It must have been so awful!" Orihime calmed down. "That nasty arrancar is dead now. You don't have to suffer anymore." She smiled up at him tearfully. "It took me awhile to heal you. You had so many bruises! I'm sorry he hurt you so much, but I think you're really brave and strong."
The raven-haired boy looked down, inspecting his skin. All the marks that Szayel had left on his body were completely gone. It felt as if the last remaining trace of the man had been erased from existence. It was as if Szayel had never been their, had never left a mark on his life, on Uryuu. Tears that he hadn't known he was holding back began to trickle down his face. He didn't want to live anymore.
Even though his physical injuries were healed, Uryuu was to be confined to the clinic for at least another week. Apparently, the Octava Espada's treatment had been so unimaginably horrid as to have traumatized the poor Quincy. That couldn't have been further from the truth. It was being away from Szayel that was making him so taciturn, so depressed.
Uryuu didn't want to talk to anyone. He didn't want to eat. He spent his days sleeping, hoping that he would be able to wake up from the endless nightmare that he was trapped in. Every waking moment was spent grieving. Szayel and Uryuu's existences had balanced each other. Without one, the other's life lost meaning. Their very identities had been entwined together so tightly. Without evil, what was the definition of good? Without Szayel, who was Uryuu? They had been balanced precariously on a tightrope, and without the Octava's counterweight, the Quincy was falling rapidly.
Why couldn't Uryuu have been the one to die in Szayel's place? If he had, he wouldn't be experiencing the agony that was slowly killing him. You never appreciate what you have until it's gone. Uryuu was only now beginning to understand this. After his grandfather's death, he had taken great pays to treasure the things precious to him, knowing they could be yanked away at any moment like a cruel joke. He thought he had appreciated his relationship with Szayel to its fullest extent. Now, he knew that he hadn't.
There was so much that he had missed, was missing. It was as if a piece of his very soul had been ripped out and viciously shredded to pieces before his very eyes. Half of himself had been torn away. He could understand what drove spirits to become Hollows. The pain, the anguish, the loss. It was suffocating. When something, someone, is hopelessly, irretrievably gone, they can never be restored. All that's left is a yearning ache, a void, an endless cavern of utter emptiness shrouded in desolate darkness where the only direction is down.
All the memories, they were nothing in the face of crushing absence. There was so much that had never been said, had never been done. So much that Uryuu would never be able to experience again. He would never hear Szayel's delighted laugh, never feel those eyes following his every move. No more perverted comments and coy flirting. No theatrics or secretly adorable moments of narcissism. No more nights filled with screams of pleasure and intensity. No more lazy mornings filled with kisses and cuddling. No more bruises to serve as reminders of the heat they shared.
In an instant, so much had been extinguished. Not one lifetime, but two had gone up in smoke, snuffed out so carelessly. And now there was nothing. Why did everyone close to Uryuu disappear? He missed Szayel so much, to an unimaginable extent. He missed everything about the man, the good and the bad. There was nothing he wouldn't give just to see him one more time. He loved Szayel, and now the man was gone. The revelation was like a slap in the face. Yes, Uryuu was in love with Szayel. He had realized too late. He had never had the chance to tell the other man how he felt. And now he never would. Uryuu just wanted to die. He knew it was irrational, but maybe he'd be together with Szayel again. It would be worth it.
Uryuu was being sent home. Isshin Kurosaki decided that the familiar surrounding's of his own house might hasten the boy's recovery. Uryuu wasn't going to argue, he just wanted to be by himself. He lived alone and his father was unlikely to be visiting him, thankfully. The asshole hadn't even gone to visit his own son during the boy's stay in the clinic. That was just as well, he detested his father and the only person Uryuu wanted, needed really, was Szayel.
With eyes downcast, he pushed open the door to his residence. Choosing to keep the rooms dark, he slowly walked through the entryway, with the intent of reaching his room and collapsing on the bed. Making his way through the living room, he was startled by a smooth voice that he never thought he'd hear again. "Well, you sure took your sweet time getting here. Honestly, I bet you did it just to annoy me. You know how impatient I am, my darling experiment."
The boy's eyes snapped upwards. He had to be hallucinating. After everything he'd been through, there was absolutely no way that Szayel was just sitting there, alive and well, lounging on Uryuu's couch and flipping through a magazine as if this was a perfectly everyday occurrence. "Szayel?" The exclamation was laced with disbelief. The raven-haired boy received a sharp toothed grin in response. Uryuu flew across the room into the man's, very real, embrace. He pulled back to glare at Szayel, before slapping him. "You fucking bastard! I thought you were dead!"
Uryuu crashed his lips against the stunned man's, kissing him hungrily. It was violent, filled with anger and relief. Their teeth clashed painfully, and the boy couldn't bring himself to care. He licked into Szayel's mouth desperately, filling his palate with the unique taste of the other. Their lips slid against each other roughly. The pink-haired man allowed Uryuu to explore his mouth a few moments longer before taking control of the kiss.
Szayel bit down on Uryuu's lip, just enough to draw blood, and smeared the substance throughout their connected mouths. The boy groaned at the pain and bitter, metallic taste, nipping at the other in return. Their slick tongues battled in a feral manner, their mouths trying to consume the other. Uryuu urgently tried to inhale everything that was Szayel. At last, they parted and the man went instantly to the younger boy's neck, licking and biting. Szayel sucked a furious red mark onto Uryuu's neck. "Mine," he hissed before pulling away and looking down at the boy.
"I was so scared," admitted Uryuu softly. "I thought I'd never see you again." The man looked slightly taken aback at the honest confession, but he quickly recovered. "You don't need to be afraid for me. I would hardly be perfect if I wasn't immortal, you know. And what kind of scientist would I be if I abandoned my precious experiment."
Szayel dipped his head, softly claiming Uryuu's lips. The contact was chaste, but it still took Uryuu's breath away. When they broke apart, the boy stared deeply into golden eyes. Taking a deep breath, he resolved himself, not wanting to ever suffer through the same regrets again. "Szayel," he paused. "I-I love you." Uryuu turned his face away, braced for rejection, disappointment, the end.
A gentle chuckle met his ears. "I know you do." Uryuu looked up at Szayel's fond expression. "You really are an idiot, aren't you? I do believe that my sentiments regarding you are labeled as love as well." The boy's eyes widened in surprise. Szayel tightened his hold, bringing Uryuu to lay down across his lithe body on the couch. "You know, those vulgar friends destroyed quite a large portion os my laboratory. As compensation, I expect to cohabitate with you for a length of time."
"Good." Uryuu smiled against Szayel's chest. "Don't ever leave me again." Everything was perfect. Uryuu never wanted to wake up.
A/N: Dedicated to Himorin, the very best of my stalkers; love you, tÃtere. Reviews are much loved. Why is Uryuu always waking up in my fics? And I probably use italics too much. The angst was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I hope I did not disappoint. The ending was a bit Schrödinger's cat: is Szayel alive, or is Uryuu dreaming/going crazy. The first option is what I would choose personally, but I'm a bit sappy. I've been rewatching Kuroshitsuji, is it obvious? Will and Grell are wonderful as always, but I think I definitely have a bias (They both wear glasses; Will is smart, cool and collected; Grell is flamboyant, crazy, and sadistic.) So, I have this headcanon that Szayel would be a talker during sex, and I have a massive language kink. I've been debating writing some PWP with Szayel dirty talking Uryuu in Spanish (not sure why nobody has done this). Does anybody want that to happen?