I'm really not looking forward to going back to school this year.

I mean, I've never particularly looked forward to going back to school before, but I could at least tolerate it. I liked seeing the familiar face of Erasa, who I considered my best friend even if I was never that close with her.

This time, though, not even her could make my situation tolerable.

See, something happened right before school ended about two months ago, when we had the mandatory school trip for three days. I didn't even want to go, but I knew if I skipped it everyone would be like, "Ooh, Videl thinks she can do anything she wants because this city is named after her dad." So I went.

I roomed with two other girls I knew but weren't actual friends with, and things were okay until I found out how girly and talkative they were. So at one point during the trip I decided to skip a class activity to avoid being anywhere near them, and of course I had to convince Gohan to skip with me. One thing led to another, and we ended up in my room. And naturally, someone caught us sleeping in my bed together and all hell broke loose.

When my dad heard, he quickly warned the school principal not to let words get out, although of course that didn't stop my classmates from talking about it with their parents and their parents from their parents to talk about it with their neighbors, their coworkers, and every salesman and clerk they come in contact with. So me being a slut became the thing no one talked about out loud but known by everyone. And by that, I mean everyone.

Fortunately the trip was pretty close to the end of the year, so I didn't have to deal with the staring and the hallway gossip all day long. I guess I assumed everyone would forget about it over the summer or something, but I know that was wishful thinking. There's no way they would let this go.

Which is why I really feel like ditching school this today. And tomorrow. And the day after. And every single day from then on.

I know ditching school won't solve the problem, though, so I force myself up anyway, reminding myself that it's only two hundred and seventy-three days to go. Which isn't much, and only about an eighteenth of my entire life. So I get dressed and hurry to school before I can talk myself into not going, and I head on the roof until the very last minute before the bell rings so I don't have to sit there and feel like a circus freak.

The funny thing is, for all the things I'd anticipated seeing, I forgot an integral part of the reason I'm in this situation itself: Gohan.

Maybe I half expected for him to be placed in another classroom or for his mom to pull him away from school, or something. In any case I just didn't expect to see him. I hadn't seen him since The Incident, when my dad told me to stop seeing him. And I did stop seeing him because I didn't feel like it anyway, and I guess I was beginning to get used to him not being a part of my life.

I avoid making eye contact with him and can't catch his reaction on seeing, and no one will every understand how thankful I was that there is still an empty seat away from him, even if it's at the front. That way I can at least make a show of not being unashamed of having slept with, even though of course I didn't even do anything. All we did was sleep together, which we must've done a thousand times outdoors. All we did was move it to the bedroom, and suddenly it stopped being cute.

Throughout the day I do notice him looking my way from the corner of my eye, but I try to ignore him. For the first time in my life I concentrate hard on what the teacher is actually teaching, and I think for the first time in my life I know what it's like to really learn. Then in the middle of the lecture my clock starts beeping, and since everyone knows I take it as my duty to help out the city I use that as an excuse to leave. Even if I'm at the center of attention as I run out and I can hear snickering on my way out, at least I can get away from it all just for now.

I slow down a little as I run out of the building, and I can't say I'm completely surprised to hear "Videl, wait!" and find Gohan trying to catch up with me. I'm a bit thrilled, I guess, not because I'm happy he's oh-so in love with me, but because in some ways we're in this together and I need him to stick by me. Not want, but need.

"Hi," I say. I look him in the eye. "Long time no see."

He looks flustered. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, but your dad . . . I mean, my mom . . . I mean, I'm not . . ."

"It's okay," I say. "I understand." Not of what he's trying to say, but of how complicated this is for us. I start running again and am getting ready to fly.

"Videl, wait," he says again as he comes up to me. "I'm just confused about what's going on."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean . . . well, are you still my girlfriend?"

I want to laugh because I think it's ridiculous that all he can think about is whether or not I'm still his girlfriend. As long as I'm behing honest though I don't really know the answer. We haven't seen each other for two months, and in high school that's a really long time. So I tell him what I think, "I don't know, Gohan, are you sure you want a whore for a girlfriend?"

"You're not a whore," he says emphatically.

"I think about ninety-five of the population begs to differ," I say. I did sleep with him, and everyone knows good girls don't sleep with anyone until they're married. And the opposite of a good girl, naturally, is a slut.

"Videl . . . "

"Let's talk later. I have a job to do." And with that we both hurry to the crime scene.

.

It doesn't take us long to get the bad guy arrested, and I feel annoyed because that means going back to class, and maybe me and Gohan do need to talk about this. So I exchange a look with Gohan and ask him, "Do you want to go to the soda shop?"

There's a bit of irony in all of this because my dad was so determined to keep me away from Gohan during the school break that he'd hired several people to stalk me and watch my every move, and yet here we are . . . walking side by side so freely because he naively assumes I'll head right back to class where I belong where a teacher can keep an eye on me.

Gohan and I sit down after we have our order, and for the first few hours we slurp our drink in silence without really talking to each other. I'm normally pretty prepared, but I don't have a clue of how this talk is going to go. Maybe it's because Gohan was my first boyfriend, and this is all new to me. Or maybe it's because this is a generally awkward thing to happen to anyone.

Wait. Did I just say he was my boyfriend?

"So," I say, "do you want to start?"

He glances at me, seeming unsure as always. I'm not even sure what he's going to open with, so I wait.

"Well, okay." He clears his throat. "First of all, I want to apologize for all the trouble I've been causing you. I should never have gone to your room. I knew it wasn't right but I did it anyway. This is all my fault."

"Gohan," I say, mildly amused. "I asked you go into my room and I asked you to stay until I fall asleep. Do you think I would've let you get away with a 'no'?"

He doesn't say anything, and I know he agrees with me even if he doesn't want to admit it. I always had my way when I was with him.

"Moving on," I say. "What was your second point going to be?"

"Well . . . " he begins, again hesitating. "I don't know if you know this, but your dad has been coming over to my house, and he's been talking to my mom. They both think the respectable thing for me to do is to marry you, which I will gladly do."

"They what?" I can't hide my surprise at this. Or my anger. Or maybe it's plain annoyance. I know my dad likes to go overboad sometimes, but I can't believe he would arrange something like this behind my back. "But I don't want to marry you!"

Gohan's face instantly falls.

"No, that's not what I meant," I quickly add. "I meant the only way I would marry someone is if I choose to, not because I'm forced to."

"But . . . " he says again, "do you want to marry me?"

"I think you'll make a good husband," I say in my most diplomatic way possible, "but marriage is the last thing on my mind right now. I mean, come on, Gohan, we're still in high school."

"Not for another year," he reasons, his tone a bit hopeful. I wonder if he does expect to marry me once we're out of high school. This wouldn't be the ideal way to get married, but the end justifies the means right?

I shake my head. "No, Gohan, I'm sorry, but right now I don't want to marry you. In fact, I don't want a boyfriend right now. Let's go back to being just friends."

There are a lot of things in this world I can't stand, but the visible disappointment in Gohan's face is probably the worst of it all.

"Oh," was all he says.

"I just want to say you were a really, really, really good boyfriend," I say before adding the cliche line, "It's not you, it's me."