Now, this is a story all about how His life got flipped-turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how he became a legal citizen of the U.K In Mexico born and raised In the Taco stand was where he spent most of his days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all making some Tacos outside of the school When a guy named trump was up to no good Started making walls in his neighborhood He got in one little fight and his mom got scared She said 'You're movin' with Juan and Jesus to the U.K He begged and pleaded with her day after day But she packed his suit case and sent him on my way She gave him a kiss and then she shoved them in a truck.
He put his sombrero on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
Low class, yo this is bad Eating salsa out of a plastic plate.
'Is this what the people of the U.K are living like?' He asked "Hmmmmm this might be shit."
"What do you mean Jose?" questioned Jaun. "Well we are getting so close to the U.K and I've already lost my sombrero." Jose said pointing to the top of his head Jaun saw the intense despair in Jose eyes and was about to comfort him when "No seas una perra y deje de hablar en inglés sabes que no lo sé./stop being a little bitch and stop speaking english you know i can't know it" "How could you say that to me!" Cried Jose failing to see that he was replying in English, so all Jesus had to say was "Qué./what"
"We seriously need to teach him English" Juan added while trying to calm down Jose but yet again Jesus not knowing what was being said went with "Come mi mierda y llámame papi. /Eat my shit and call me daddy."
" Tipo que es inapropiado!/Dude that's inappropriate!"Shouted Juan as he went with Jose to dry his eyes from the continuous sobbing, though I'm not sure if it's because he lost his sombrero, if it's because Jesus insulted him or because he dropped his salsa while it happened."Estas personas serán la muerte de mí. /these people will be the death of me."
It was about half past eight but of course they didn't know cause they don't own watch's nor are they able to read an actual clock, but the boat they were *'legally'* on had arrived at the U.K and all the people on board were told to, I quote 'get the fuck off or get taken to China' Jose and Juan of course got off, but they did have to drag Jesus off as he didn't have a clue what was happening. "¿Qué estamos aquí, gracias a la mierda. /what are we here, thank fuck. "
"Well... this is not what I was expecting." Juan was, well very confused at what atrocities he saw a dirty pier that made my mom's penis look pretty, people who looked like 4th of July took place on their face, Jose reaction was "OMG it's perfect!"
"Mira siquiera hay sexo en vivo. /look theres even live sex." Jesus added pointing towards an alley where a man seemed to be ploughing some lady's mound... viciously. "OK LET'S GET GOING" Juan Screamed as he pulled both Jose and Jesus before they started walking towards the people doing... *'their buisness'*, anyway Jose, Juan and Jesus made their way to the quote and quote *'property owner' * who also sounded like he should be on special victim's unit and not in the way you might originally think. "So you what the building do ya" the man said looking at Jose but didn't seem to look above his belt but ignoring it said "yes we do but... we have no English money only peso. " "Hmmm well maybe you could just do me some... favours"
"Like what" said Jose while Jaun proceeded to start backing away "Well you could just...
END OF CHAPTER 1