Get-A-Tree-This is one of my earlier works, but a lot of people seemed to get a kick out of it. So here it isss!

Haru(DISCLAIMER)- .-A-Tree does NOT own Fruits Basket or any of it's character.

Get-A-Tree- ( Ya I wish I did own them though. Well anywayz this story is NOT Yaoi...just a funny story about be SLIGHT Bashing.

Haru- Story Starts...

...-

Get-A-Tree- DAMNIT HARU THE STORY STARTS NOW!

What's Up With Her?

Tohru was walking downstairs with a smi- wait no!IT WAS A SCOWL!TOHRU HAD A SCOWL ON HER FACE!.GOSH!

Antiwayz, she was walking downstairs with a scowl on her face when Shigure popped up out of nowhere. "Good Morning Tohru!" he chripped. "Shut up you damn mutt!Is there anyway to get some damn quit around here!" Tohru snapped. Shigure stared in shock as Tohru walked into the kitchen muttering "Stupid ass dog should jump off a cliff" under her breath.

Shigure followed. "Umm...Tohru-" he started. "WHERE'S BREAKFEST AT?"She yelled. "Huh?But aren't you supposed to co-" "DON'T GIVE ME NO DAMN EXCUSES BITCH!COOK ME SOME DAMN BREAKFEST!" she yelled. Shigure yelped and got up and roamed the refrigerator. "Umm...there's no breakfast items in the fridge." Shigure told Tohru. "Well you better go get some!I want breakfast in...30 minutes in counting."Tohru told him. "But-" "No damn butts!Go to the store and get some damn food for me to eat!" Shigure just stared at her. "DAMNIT I SAID HURRY UP!" Tohru snapped. Shigure yelped and ran out of the house.

//Later That Day//

Yuki strolled inside the house. He had just returned from a Student Concil Meeting. Antiwayz, he dropped his backpack on the floor and then went upstairs to Tohru room. He was sort of nervous since he was about to ask her to be his girlfriend. But he didn't know what was coming.

He slid open the door to her room and saw Tohru on her bed trying to zip the zipper of her pants on. "DAMNIT!'.FIT?!?!?!?!?!" Tohru screamed. "Um.. Miss Honda?" Yuki asked confused as he walked all the way in her room. Tohru hoped up and blushed. "Oh...h-hi Yu-Yuki." Tohru had managed to stutter out. "Um...what are you doing?" Yuki had asked. "I'm trying to get my favorite pair of jeans on, but they won't fit."She whined. And then!(dun dun dun!)Yuki said the words that would cost him his very life(A/N: well..not his very life...but you understand what I mean) "Well maybe they don't fit anymore." Tohru eyes flashed with fire and she went nuts!It was like the Exorcist or something. She jumped up and locked her door and then tackled Yuki to the ground. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!?!YOU CALLIN ME FAT NOW!OH WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YOU BITCH!DON'T EVER THINK I'M EVER GOING OUT WITH YOU NOW!YOU BITCH GET OUT!" She yelled out as he threw him out(literally) by his hair. She even got a chunk of it. Who knows she was going to do with that later. She then sat on her bed and hummed her favorite song while smiling brightly.

//That Night//

Kyo had just came down from the roof to see Shigure cooking and Yuki cowering in fear. "What the hell?" Kyo murmured to himself as he walked upstairs only to come face to face with the demon herse- I mean our precious friend Tohru. "HI KYO!" Tohru cheered brightly. "Hmmph!Why aren't you cooking?" Kyo had asked that bic- i mean great person. "Oh so now I'm your bitch!and I got to do whatever you say huh?" Tohru snapped. "What?I didn't mean it like th-" Kyo had started. "So now I got to listen some wimpy ass bitch who can't even win a fight against the girly bitch that what you're trying to say?" Tohru stepped forward as Kyo stepped back. "No-All I meant was-" "All you meant was that I'm so sort of slave who can't even have a damn day off from cooking!I have to cook for your low class ass just to hear how horrible it is!IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY KYO?!?"Tohru yelled. "HEY LIST-" Kyo started. "NO!YOU LISTEN BITCH!YOU EITHER GET IN THERE AND HELP THAT PERVERTED FAGGOT COOK OR I RIP OF YOUR(bbblllllleeeeeppppp) AND MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!WHICH IS IT GOING TO BE?!" Kyo stared at her wide eyed as she backed him up agaisnt the wall. "I'm g- go- going to h-help um Shigure."Kyo said as he stepped to the side and zoomed out the house. "DAMN BITCH!GET BACK HERE!" Tohru yelled as he chased after of course as noisy as they are, Yuki and Shigure followed. Tohru almost caught, but then...she collapsed. "OOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!" She screamed. "Miss Honda!" "Tohru!" Everyone screamed as they ran toward her. "Are you ok Miss Honda?" Yuki asked. "DO I LOOK OK DAMNIT!" Tohru snapped as she got up. "Damn cramps!" She yelled. As she rushed inside.

//At The House//

The guy entered the house only to find Tohru on the couch in lingerie. "Hello boys." Tohru said lustfully as she winked at them. Yuki got a nose bleed, Kyo screamed like a girl and Shigure...drooled. "You, me, whip cream, handcuffs, a comfy yet bouncy couch, any question?" she asked as she got up a strolled towards them.

Damn, what the hell is wrong with her?

LaLa

Get-A-Tree:Well, does anybody know?

Momiji-If you know review and we'lll give you a muffin!

Get-A-Tree: Byez