AN. I know it looks bad. The end is highly amusing.
Disclaimer: If the writer of good children's books feels the need to track me down and sue me, she can suck it.
There was a little boy named Tom, who grew up in an orphanage. Tom was not some sort of mystical "wizard"; he had no special powers. The only thing which distinguished young Tom from his peers was this: Tom Marvolo Riddle had some serious stones. When he was seven years old, one of his schoolmates tried to take his lunch. Tom allowed it. The next day, the matron of the St. Marys orphanage found a bully, Samuel Criben, dead. The police said he had died peacefully in his sleep. Oh how wrong they were. Over the course of the next 11 years, there was a string of natural deaths in London. 27 of them o be exact. Young Tom Riddle was becoming quite the serial killer.
Tom Marvolo Riddle strode confidently into the unremarkable pub. He caught sight of his target, and approached him. "Jonathan Barker?" he asked. "Yeah mate, that's me." Tom pulled a small revolver from his coat pocket. "Good." Tom was out of the bar and in his stolen automobile before John's corpse hit the floor.
Tom Marvolo Riddle was an exceptional hitman, and London's biggest mob boss Willy Federer, like that. Willy hired Tom to do his dirty work. Tom served the family faithfully for 6 years, burying no fewer than 44 individuals for them. Willy Federer disappeared on July 3rd, 1950. The police never found his body.
The year 1980 rolled around. Tom wasn't getting any younger, but he also wasn't getting any weaker. After Willy's untimely death, Tom had riled up Brittan's criminal underworld, tricking them into blaming each other for their beloved leaders death. After a three year long gang war with a body count of over 200, Tom stepped in, and rebuilt that fallen criminal empire to a height it never could have reached before.
The date is February 3rd, 1990. Harry Potter is not intelligent. His grades are below average, and he doesn't have very many friends. His father is a decent police officer, but doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut. James Potter tried to take down Tom Riddle.
March 5th, 1990. The living room of the potter family is covered in blood. Lily, Harry, Harriet, and Rose all lie face down, with a bullet hole in each of their heads. James Potter kneels on the ground, sobbing. He doesn't stop until Tom Riddle has put two .45 bullets in the back of his head. Harry Potter will never meet Draco Malfoy, or Ron Weasley. He will never drink beers then have a gay vampire orgy with Severus Snape. He will never proclaim shallow love for Ginny Weasley. Stop fucking writing "non-magic" porn stories you retarded bastards.