"Estel...Aragorn...Strider...I am all of these, and yet none of these. I am Aragorn to most, Strider to many...Estel to few... At this moment in time I am nothing; a mere shadow. I do not exist... I have escaped from my life again. I have denied my past and my future. The present is all I have. Now is all I want. No...that is a lie. I want something...someone. I need them...him. Oh Legolas...meleth - nin... My heart is broken...to lie hurts me, but the truth would hurt him... Legolas, Legolas, Legolas...where are you? Can I come to you? No...no. It would hurt to much. I need to be near you, but for your sake I will stay away... Forever."
--
"Legolas Greenleaf...that's my name...I know it is. I am the prince and heir to the throne of Mirkwood. But why me? Why did it have to be me? Why, why, why? Oh Estel...can you hear me? I need you to return Estel...I am weak without your presence...but oh...to tell you so would be a grievious mistake. I will take my secret to the grave, Estel. But please...come back to me...I need you. I need you more than you will ever know. More than you can ever know... Oh Estel...Estel - nin... I'm broken inside..."
--
Aragorn stood on the outskirts of Mirkwood, shivering in the cool night breeze. Occasionally he saw a pale shape moving about within the elven town and smiled wistfully. It was Legolas. Aragorn knew deep down that he shouldn't be here, shouldn't have offered to come on behalf of Elrond...that he was only prolonging his agony, but he couldn't stay away. Not forever.
'Legolas...' he whispered.
Aragorn turned around at the sound of footsteps behind him and came face to face with two elven guards. He gulped, noticing the arrows pointed straight at him. The elves moved closer and Aragorn backed away. He felt himself bump into something, and a sharp pain came in his head. He collapsed to the floor, the world turning black around him.
--
Aragorn was jolted away by a sharp clattering noise. He raised his head and saw a pair of elves entering a cage. His cage. He was in the cage, and obviously in Mirkwood. But for how long?
"Does Legolas know this?" he thought to himself.
His arms were clasped behind him, and he shifted to try and test the rope. He discovered quickly it was not rope, as he felt the shapr sting of metal entering his bare wrists and warm blood trickle out over fresh wounds.
'Argh!' he cried.
'Silence!' the elves cried in return.
The elves jerked Aragorn up and dragged him out of the cage. He hung his head in resignation. Wherever he was going...he hoped Legolas would not see him. Not like this.
--
Aragorn felt himself thrown onto the floor and looked up carefully. Seated before him was Thranduil, and to Thranduil's right, the one person he had wanted to see so bad, Legolas.
'Legolas...' he whispered, his swollen lips barely able to form the words.
Legolas paled as he recognized the beaten body below him.
'Estel...you returned...' Legolas whispered.
Thranduil rose, a frown upon his face. He paced towards the human and stood before him.
'What business have you here? I warned you never to return.'
Aragorn coughed and rolled over, before pushing himself into a seated position.
'I bring news from Elrond...'
'What news?'
'All he said was...it's time. He told me you'd know what he meant.'
Thranduil's eyes narrowed and he nodded.
'Release him.' he said to the elves who had brought him in.
They rushed forwards and unlocked the manacles holding his wrists. Aragorn stood up, rubbing his wrists and smearing the blood. He winced and then looked at Thranduil.
'Now leave Aragorn. You are not welcome here.'
Aragorn shot a final glance at Legolas, almost pleading with him to change his father's mind. Knowing it was no use, he sighed and left, his shoulders hunched over. Legolas felt something tear free from inside him as he watched the human leave the building. Tears glimmered in his ice – blue eyes, and he sighed heavily.
'Estel…' he whispered.
Legolas became aware his father was speaking with him, but could not understand what he was saying. All he could understand was the pain he felt. It was then that he realized he could not let Aragorn leave. Not again. Legolas ran, not even stopping when he heard his father cry after him. The tears were now falling freely down his cheeks, but he did not care. All he cared about was Aragorn. Legolas reached the forest without seeing him, and realized that Aragorn had run.
'Estel, Estel!' he cried.
Legolas ran through the forest until he saw Aragorn running ahead of him.
'Estel, wait for me!' Legolas cried.
Aragorn did not stop, he didn't even look back. As Legolas was an elf, he easily caught up to Aragorn and tackled him, knocking him to the floor. Aragorn rolled over beneath Legolas, and Legolas straddled his hips, pinning his shoulders down with his hands.
'Legolas…' Aragorn whispered lovingly.
Legolas looked deep into the human's brown eyes and saw the love he felt reflected back at him.
'Estel…'
Legolas leant down and brushed his lips against Aragorn's, wondering even as he did it if it was a mistake. He realized it wasn't when Aragorn raised his head so that their lips were pressed together.
'Legolas.' Aragorn moaned as they kissed.
His dreams were coming true…in the worst possible way. He loved Legolas dearly…but… He broke away from the kiss and looked to the side. Legolas looked at him, concern marring his face. Maybe he was wrong...
'Estel, what is it?' Legolas asked, tilting his head to the side.
Tears filled Aragorn's eyes and he blinked rapidly to clear them. It didn't work, and the tears spilt over. Legolas' concern increased.
'Estel, I have never seen you cry. Tell me what it is, or I shall leave now, and you shall never see me again. Ever.'
It pained him to say it, but he hoped it would encourage him to speak.
'That is probably for the best Legolas; you know that as well as I do.'
'But...I thought...Estel...'
Aragorn sighed and sat up, knocking the elf off him. The pain on Legolas' face was hurting Aragorn more than he would ever let on. All he wanted to do was grab him, hold him tight and never, ever let him go. But he couldn't do that. Not now, not ever.
'Bein - min...' Aragorn whispered.
Legolas stood up, a pout upon his lips.
'I will not go Estel, even if you won't let me go with you. I can't stand being apart.'
Aragorn stood up as well, but began to walk off.
'You don't mean that Legolas, trust me.'
Aragorn felt slender arms snake their way around his waist and he paused.
'I do...do you know how much it hurts me when you are away? I...I never wanted to tell you this. I never felt I could. But now...something is different. Something...has changed.'
Aragorn turned to face Legolas.
'Every night Legolas, every single night since we met I have gone to bed with your name on my lips. This no one knew, except your father. He knew, and told me that I was never to return. My heartache caused me great pain, so I did return, bringing word from Elrond. It was foolishness, your father wanted to kill me. But he wouldn't, not in front of you. I just...had to see you again. I...I...'
Aragorn glanced away.
'This is foolishness too. How can you understand what I am going through? How can you understand how I feel? You can't...simply because you can't return what I need, what I want.'
'And what is that, Estel?' Legolas asked.
'Your love...your heart...your all. And that is why I must leave you, and you must return to Mirkwood. You are their prince. How will they live without you?'
'How will I live without you Estel? Can you answer that? I want to give you my all...it belongs to you, just please, do not reject me. I love you Estel.'
Aragorn sighed. Love was a funny word, and the elven prince had just used it.
'Legolas...I love you, I always have. But you...is it love you feel for me? Or simply lust? Love burns throughout your entire being, so that you can no longer sleep... Love consumes you with a passion that only the one you love can heal. Love burns you...breaks you...as well as makes you. Lust consumes nothing, just your thoughts. Lust can be a horrid thing...'
'Estel...I feel love for you, deep down in my entire being. I know this to be true, do you not believe me?'
Aragorn looked deep into Legolas' eyes, searching for the answers he needed. Finally he nodded slowly.
'Aye, I do. But for how long Legolas? How long?'
Legolas did not reply, instead leant forwards and kissed Aragorn passionately, folding his body against Aragorn's. Aragorn moaned softly, but made no move to halt what had begun what seemed like an eternity ago. Aragorn ran his fingers through the elf's hair, and then pulled back, staring him deep in the eyes.
'Legolas...you know this is not right...'
'How can something that is as wrong as you pretend it to be feel like this?'
'You have to return Legolas...and I have to leave. I will never see you again...'
Legolas pulled away from him, turning his back.
'If that is how you feel, then go. I...I never loved you anyway.'
Legolas was lying...Aragorn could tell. He went up behind Legolas and wrapped his arms around the elf's slender waist.
'I can tell you're crying Legolas...it stains your voice.' he whispered into Legolas' ear.
'I lied Aragorn...I cannot leave you...I could not stand it. Not again.'
Aragorn began to walk away.
'Come if you will...if it is what you want. I am leaving now, for I do not wish to be caught by your brethren again...'
Legolas waited for a minute, chewing hesitantly at his bottom lip. He wanted to go with Aragorn badly, but his duty was in Mirkwood...was it not? Legolas looked back at his home and then, taking a deep breath, ran after Aragorn. He caught up to him and grabbed his hand, locking their fingers together.
'I'm frightened Aragorn...'
'I'll protect you meleth - nin, and never let any harm come to you...ever. On my honour.'
