Part 18: Contact
Summary:
Reflections on what being in touch with Earth means for Voyager's Captain and First Officer. (JC)
Pairing:JC Rating: PG-13 Type of Story: Drabble Level: 1
Part 18: Contact
The mood had been light and jovial at the party. For some. For others the mood was sombre. He wasn't too sure which he group he fit into.
Astrometrics may not have been a logical place for him to be, but for some reason he was struck with a longing to see the planet of their desire, the destination of their journey, the place that they had overcome so many obstacles, sometimes on will power alone, to return to.
So he called up a computer file of Earth. It looked so much like the millions of M-class planets that they passed out in the Delta Quadrant, but it was special. It was special to every human on the crew and for every crew member there was a world in the Federation, if not in the alpha quadrant, which had a similar attraction for them. A place that resonates in their being at the sight of it. Their home. For everyone on the crew, Voyager was their home away from home. For some it was their only home. For them going home meant facing difficult things; facing suspended prison sentences, re-building homes after the war; mourning friends and family who had passed on in their absence. For five of their crew and maybe for the two top command officers it meant judgement day. A time to discover if the decisions of the past were the right ones.
But no matter what, the pull to the alpha quadrant was always there. Chakotay tapped the consul a few more times and an image came to the centre of the screen. He enlarged it so that it filled the screen. He stared at the image and felt himself being pulled to that place. He had visited it when he was at Starfleet Academy. While he was there, he tried to ignore the resonance that he felt with that place and he had succeeded. Now he felt it again. The origins of his Tribe. They came from that place and when he reached Earth, it was one of the places that he knew that he wanted to visit.
The door to the lab slid open and Chakotay made out the silhouette of Kathryn as she entered. He turned again to the screen as Kathryn came and stood beside him.
"When the computer told me that you were here, I did a double take. Especially since Seven's in the Mess Hall. Now I see why you came. Feeling a little homesick?"
Kathryn put a comforting hand on his shoulder as she spoke.
"To be honest, I don't know what I feel right now." Chakotay replied.
Kathryn was quiet at that and gave him space to continue.
"We've been through so much trying to get home and even though I know that we will never give up…..that I will never give up on trying to get there, sometimes it seems like an afterthought. For me it's always been about the journey and part of that journey is the destination, but it is never the most important part; just its end. When I think of what I'll be going home to, what every former member of the Maquis will be going home to…..I pause, and sometimes I feel that it's best that we not get there."
Chakotay waited on Kathryn's response and he was surprised when she didn't give any.
"Then there are times when I can't wait to put my foot down on the Appalachia trail and inscribe my chamousi among the many that are there to mark the passage that my ancestors made before me. Sometimes I feel like the whole 30 year journey would be worth it if only I can do that."
Chakotay finally turned to face her. "I know that this isn't making any sense."
Kathryn gave a small smile. "On the contrary it makes perfect sense."
"What about you Kathryn, what's going on in that head of yours?"
"It's just spinning right now. After all of those times that we've tried to get in contact and stay in contact with home, we may actually get it right this time and we won't be so alone any more during this journey."
Kathryn lowered her arms and clasped them in front of her. Chakotay's never left behind his back for the entire time that they were talking. Kathryn sensed the ambivalence as well as the longing that was emanating from him. It was why she went looking for him. She knew that he was happy for the rest of the crew, but for himself and even for some of the former members of the Maquis, she knew that he was concerned. But it wasn't only the former members of the Maquis that they had to be concerned with.
"Did you talk to the former members of the Equinox crew?" Kathryn asked him.
"Some. I didn't see Noah at the party and for some strange reason and I found it strange that he wasn't celebrating. I thought for a fact that he would be happy at the prospect of Starfleet aiding him in getting off this ship a little faster."
"Because of serving under me?" Kathryn asked and Chakotay nodded.
"Although, he seems to be doing an excellent job. In fact all of the former members of the Equinox seem to be determined to make up for their mistakes in the first part of their journey."
"Yes they seem to be." Kathryn was curt, and Chakotay left it at that. When the time was right, he would broach the subject again.
"Tom Paris seemed to be at a lost when he made his speech at the celebration." Chakotay fished.
"Tom and his father never really saw eye to eye."
"I would expect that, a respected and decorated admiral's son being an outlaw. I would expect that he was disappointed."
Kathryn nodded.
"Extremely disappointed. Admiral Owen Paris expects the best of everyone and he expected even more from his son. He pushes hard when he sees talent, because he believes that's the only way that talent should be refined. Unfortunately Tom marches to the beat of his own drummer. I suspect there was a lot of trouble even before the accident on Caldik prime and part of the reason that Tom acted the way he did after the incident was born out of that rift in their relationship."
Chakotay faced her and chuckled. "What" Kathryn asked him amused.
"Nothing. Just remembering a very cold and very distant Captain that I met in the beginning of our journey together. One who struggled to connect to her crew in the midst of feeling guilt for stranding them in the Delta Quadrant."
"A lot has happened in those six years and I believe that it has changed her for the better."
"Yes it has. Sometimes when it comes to the crew, I wonder why you need me as the First Officer. You don't need a bridge anymore."
"You mean a conduit don't you?"
"What are you talking about?" Chakotay looked at her puzzled.
"You once told me that the First Officer was supposed to be a conduit between the Captain and the crew. Don't you remember?"
"Vaguely and I thought that I was joking, I didn't mean for you to take it seriously."
"There was something in the way you said it, even in jest. I have never forgotten it."
"Next time we have a disagreement and I want you to listen to me, I'm going to make a joke. Maybe it'll work." His eyes were twinkling.
"You can try, but I doubt it." Kathryn said with a straight face and Chakotay chuckled. She couldn't keep the face for long.
"But as for me becoming First Officer. Don't worry I think your job is safe for a while Commander. I may know the senior staff very well, but not as well as you do. Besides, conduits have their function in terms of long distance transport of energy."
"Stop it Kathryn, you're reaching with that analogy." Chakotay was openly laughing now.
"You have any plans right now?"
"No, what do you have in mind."
"I have a little program stored in the Holodeck of Indiana where I grew up. I know it's not the real thing, but its close enough."
"Giving up on showing me the real thing one day?' Chakotay looked mildly shocked.
"Never. Just a taste of what the destination of this journey has to offer. If you want, I can help you make your own program of the Appalachia mountains."
Chakotay's smile was wide.
"Let's work on my program. And I'll save the trip to Indiana for when we reach home."
Chakotay was extremely serious and Kathryn stared into his eyes. They did not turn away fast enough when Seven entered Astrometrics.
Kathryn knew she caught the look.
"Hello Seven." She said evenly.
"Captain, Commander. Do you require assistance?"
"I don't know Commander, do you still require assistance?"
And in that instance he knew. He didn't know how she knew about him, if she caught a look or a glance when his guard was down, but she had been aware when he left the party and she knew that she was needed and for what.
Although they were both aware that Seven was looking at them puzzled, Chakotay held Kathryn's gaze as he answered.
"No, I think I'm OK right now."
"Good-night Seven." They both said as they exited the Lab.
Seven looked at their retreating backs puzzled. She could speculate, but as Tuvok had already told her. It was a dangerous pastime.
The End
Part 19: Remember