i. silence

Whenever Avatar Aang falls in love, it is in a hurry.

Over the past couple of years he has been absent; the east has called him. Lately, disappearing is an art he's mastered in. The isolation is somewhat therapeutic, not to mention rare. However, Aang loves people, so he always returns home.

Eventually.

This time, he wonders if he has left it all a little too late.

Snow cuts through his flesh. He shudders, the unwelcoming bustle of Republic City thrusting him into a quick reality. The cold is worse than ever. And a man so in touch with nature, he can only interpret the weather as bad news. Wrapping his clothes tighter around him, he buries his chin into his scarf, and treads on.

It doesn't take long until people recognise him. Gossip spreads. People talk. Aang stays at a hotel he hasn't seen before; obviously new. His cheeks are red, nose pink, and he smiles, relieved to be in the warmth. The staff and guests stop short at the sight of him, and, well-mannered as always, Aang bows his head in respect.

'May I have a room, please?'

Aang insists he pays. His room is on the second floor, and it's a surprisingly decent view of the city. Opening the curtains wide, he presses his forehead against the glass; it won't stop snowing. In fact, it's so chilly, no children are out building snowmen, or playing. Those who are out are desperate to get inside.

On his desk is a newspaper. One of few conveniences the hotel generally offered. His eyes fall on the photograph across the first page, and the colour drains from his face. Aang blinks. His heart pauses, then goes erratic.

Lifting the newspaper, he stares at the beautiful photograph of his dear friend, Fire Lord Zuko, and his prior lover and closest friend, Katara; both standing together, happy, older, and––

––in love.

Marriage. Aang reads the headline, briefly glosses through the first few lines. Sighs, and lets the newspaper drop. Zuko and Katara. In love. Engaged. To be married in the summer. A small, uncertain smile reaches his lips.

Just how long has it been?

–

Because he doesn't know where else to go, he heads for the Military Police headquarters. If there is anybody who would have stayed in one place, it would be Toph. Yet, as he enters the building, he's hit with a sense of uneasiness.

Initially, he is ignored. So engrossed in their work, officers don't notice him, let alone recognise him. Until, finally, a senior officer does a double take, and Aang is finally acknowledged. 'I'm sorry to disturb you; I understand you're all very busy.'

'The weather doesn't help. A lot of people getting trapped in the snow. I imagine you're here to see Chief Beifong?'

Aang smiles. 'That's right.'

'I'm afraid she's not in today. Might not be tomorrow, either.'

'What do you mean?' Aang laughs softly. 'Toph doesn't strike me as the type to have a day off.'

The officer raises a brow. 'You haven't heard?'

'Heard what?' Aang frowns, concerned. 'What's happened?'

'Uh, I'm afraid I am under strict orders not to tell anybody. I just thought you might know.'

'I don't,' Aang says quietly. 'Where is she?'

'I can't tell you that either.'

Aang exhales slowly. There's no point arguing. If Toph has given the order, Aang isn't going to abuse that. Still, she would never take the day off. And the confidentiality only makes him worry more. Maybe it's the expression on Aang's face, he isn't sure, but the officer takes pity and reveals Toph's location.

Just as long as Aang doesn't share this information, nor reveal who gave it to him.

'You have my word.'

And Aang has never broken a promise.

The city hospital. Aang panics. Widens his eyes, and immediately rushes out of headquarters, and towards the hospital. By this point, he can barely feel the icy winds. All he can think of is that Toph is in the hospital, Zuko and Katara are marrying, and what the hell is happening?

Fortunately, due to his status, Aang isn't given much grief with trying to visit the Chief of Police. Even if she has specifically stated she won't accept visitors.

But this is Aang, and Aang is different, and she'll have to physically throw him out if she doesn't want him.

Upon arriving to her room, Aang expects to find her resting in a hospital bed. Instead, Toph is on her feet, dressed properly, and ready to leave. Actually, she's so keen to escape, the two nearly collide into each other.

'Toph?'

It takes a moment for her to recognise that voice.

'Who told you?' She snaps.

Aang is affronted. 'Uh, what?'

'Never mind. What are you doing here?' She doesn't wait for an answer, but decides to walk past him.

Before she can escape, he gently rests a hand on her arm. 'I'm here to see you. I returned to Republic City this morning; wanted to see you, and I was told you'd be here.'

An emotion passes her expression; one he can't place. But it's similar to shame.

'Wasn't expecting you back.'

'Yeah,' he winces, 'Sorry. I figured I've been gone a while.'

Toph is about to make a remark. Pauses, changes her mind. 'Look, I've been trapped in this place for the past two days. Either follow me, or stay, I don't care; but I'm going.'

Of course Aang doesn't require much convincing. They escape the hospital together, and Toph appears relieved. He watches her, wondering why she was in there, and for two days. Aang doesn't want to pressure her with questions. He knows how much Toph hates it when her privacy is invaded.

They walk through the snow. Toph doesn't seem to notice the freeze, and Aang has half a mind to share his coat with her. He studies her, as if the answers may be written across her face, but he can't decipher anything. So far, it's been a rushed, bizarre reunion, and if he doesn't start receiving answers, he'll go mad.

She doesn't take him to headquarters. Her apartment isn't too far away, and she glides her palm across the door, searching for the keyhole. Aang waits patiently for her to unlock it, before stepping inside behind her. It's warm, thankfully, but the room is bare. The walls plain, curtains wide open –– in fact, there aren't any curtains –– no pictures; nothing which Aang can rest his eyes on and appreciate.

But why would there be?

'D'you want something warm to drink?'

'Sure, thank you.'

'Great. Stove's right over there––' she points to her left, 'Excuse me a sec.'

She goes into what he presumes is her bedroom. Aang removes his coat, throwing it across a chair, before fiddling with the stove to get some warm brew going. Toph is gone a while, and he pours them both a drink, the scent soothing.

Finally, she reappears, exactly the same, but––

Aang tries to ignore the soreness around her eyes. As if she's been rubbing them mercilessly, hurting herself. It's an exhausted expression, the kind of retirement one possesses after a long cry.

His heart skips a beat, and he offers her the drink.

'Cold out,' he says. She takes the drink, turns away. Wise, he thinks. 'I understand if you don't want to tell me, but why were you at the hospital?' She shrugs, facing him slightly. Almost looking bored. 'Incident at work?'

'I guess,' she allows. 'Why'd you come back?'

It almost sounds like an accusation. He takes the brunt of it, 'I missed Republic City. I missed you guys. I heard the news, about Zuko and Katara?'

Toph chortles. 'Oh, yeah.'

'When did that happen?'

'Not long after you went away.' She shrugs again. 'I don't know much of the details.'

'And you?'

'Can't say much about me.'

A lie. Aang places his drink down. 'I think I might stay a while.'

'Good. We could do with an extra hand around here.'

He smiles, and a welcome from Toph is all the welcome he needs. 'I've missed you,' he tells her, and she considers responding; but something shadows her eyes, and she decides against it.

–

From down the hall, Aang can hear him. Sokka has always walked heavily on his feet, yet with surprising elegance. The entire morning, Aang has been in the office Toph offered him at headquarters. Although he's desperate to work out in the field, he's happy to assist with the paperwork. What with the demand for emergency services currently, his help is desperately needed.

Sokka bursts into his office, arms outstretched, 'It's been far too long!'

Grinning ear-to-ear, Aang jumps from his seat, and hurries over to embrace him. 'I sort of realised that,' he chuckles. 'I heard about Katara and Zuko.'

'Yeah… yeah,' Sokka smiles crookedly. 'You good?'

'Wh––Yes, of course! I'm really happy for them both.'

'You told them that yet?'

'Ah, no. I only got back yesterday.'

'I know. Toph said.'

Aang raises his brows. 'You've talked to her?'

Closing the door behind him, Sokka enters the office, and they both take a seat. 'Kinda. You know what she's like. But she told me you met her at the hospital.'

Hesitant, Aang tries to pick the appropriate words. 'How has Toph been?'

'Fine,' Sokka says, slowly. He squints, analysing Aang. 'How much do you know?'

'Nothing,' Aang breathes. 'It's all been a lot, really. I wasn't expecting so much to have changed. I only know she was at the hospital yesterday. We went back to her place afterwards, and it was as if we spoke about everything, except––'

And he remembers how she looked when she left her bedroom. Her eyes. This absence.

'Sokka,' and his voice comes out stern; determined. Sokka listens. 'Please tell me what she's been doing.'

'Working, mostly. Drawing.'

'Drawing?'

'Yeah, I know,' Sokka laughs. 'Despite the obvious, she's pretty decent at it. But that's just a recent thing. Lately, however, she has kept to herself. More so than usual.' They look at each other. Aang doesn't say a word. Silent. His gaze certain, but utterly transfixed in worry. Sokka sighs, and runs a hand through his hair. 'Shit.'

'Tell me what happened. I won't let her know.'

'I kn––yeah, I know you won't, mate. Just, I don't want you to get upset about it all, y'know?'

Aang swallows, bracing himself. 'I'll be okay.'

Briefly, Sokka goes vacant. Almost as if reminiscing. Wishing the responsibility weren't solely his own.

'Toph miscarried.'

It doesn't quite make sense at first.

Aang stares. Stares. Falls back, blinks, and, 'What?' His voice barely breaks through, because suddenly his mind conjures the hideous image of Toph, bloody, dreading the absolute worst. He breathes, or tries to anyway, whispers, 'When?'

'Two days ago. That's why she's been at the hospital.'

'Oh.'

'She lost a lot of blood.'

'Ah.'

'It's something she rather insistently told me to keep to myself.' Sokka attempts a reassuring a smile, but it crumbles halfway. 'Don't worry, Aang. It was quick. Unexpected, I'll tell you that much.'

'May I ask––' Aang has to, because he just has to ask about anything but Toph, '––about the father?'

Sokka shrugs, uncaringly. 'I doubt he's bothered. I wouldn't know. Never met him. Toph gives the impression he just passed through.' He scrunches up his nose. 'No point asking about him, Aang. As far as everybody is concerned, there never was one.'

–

Returning to her office, Toph doesn't sense Aang in the room until it's much too late.

She cracks a grin, 'If you were anybody else, Twinkle Toes, I'd have booted you out. And made sure it was painful.'

Aang can't resist. 'I would enjoy witnessing that.'

Passing him, she rounds her desk, distracted. 'Can I help?'

'Sokka paid a visit.'

She goes stiff. Aang finds that response odd, but doesn't ask. 'Cute.' Recovering, Toph sits on the edge of her desk, retrieves a folder and passes it over. 'Well, you're clearly here out of boredom. Here's some real work if you're up to it.'

Aang gladly accepts. 'Thanks.'

'It's just casual stuff. Don't get too excited.'

'Have you been all right?'

Admittedly, that question came out very abruptly. Toph's expression darkens slightly. She's so suspicious of him, he doesn't know if he should give her peace of mind, and let her know that he knows. For an uncomfortable amount of time, she is deadly silent, and he has a horrid feeling she's reading his mind.

To be honest, he wouldn't let it past her.

'Yes.'

He's not sure if her lie is a relief.

Aang cannot fathom the grief of losing a child. And, he really has no clue how Toph is dealing with the loss. Or, if she's dealing with it at all! Because Toph is the kind of proud fool who would push away feelings, especially the ugly ones, and she would push them so far away that they'd just sit and fester.

Until it's too much, and––

Aang is intimate with grief. He is all too aware of the repercussions.

Glancing at the documents, he reads away, conscious of Toph concentrating on his every movement. Aang finds it sweet how some of these missions are genuine rescue missions. A few elderly folk have got trapped in their homes due to the heavy snow, and need a little help just to get around.

That is a mission he will happily take.

'Join me?'

Toph looks at him as if he's insane. 'I have more important stuff to worry about.'

'Is this below you, Chief?'

There's something daring in his voice.

'Fine,' she says, teeth gritted. She abandons the desk, and gestures to the exit, 'After you, princess.'

'I'm flattered you consider me Royalty, Toph.'

If she could roll her eyes, she would in this moment.

–

Aang is charming.

Not only are some elderly having the Chief of Police aid them from place-to-place, but the Avatar himself! Toph is a professional at heart, and manages to restrain from scowling at Aang's ridiculous comments. And he seriously needs to stop praising the women's alleged good looks. He's hopeless.

But he loves it. Aang makes them smile, he makes them laugh, and he manages to make their day so much brighter. Aang helps them with shopping, carrying goods; he even prepares them tea, some warm bread and Toph can't quite believe she actually took this softie as a student once.

What makes it worse is when one of them says, 'You two are a very handsome couple.'

Toph doesn't react physically. She remains standing, shoulders back, arms crossed. Aang, on the other hand, laughs out loud and looks at Toph for a response. He blushes. 'Eh, we're not together. This––this is my boss.'

Now Toph does react at that. She pulls a face at him which is one of sheer confusion and really? Your boss?

Rubbing the back of his head, Aang bashfully says to her afterwards, 'Sorry about that. I didn't know what to say, and––'

'Let's not.'

'Okay.'

Their duties are finished later that evening. Aang inhales sharply when they enter the chilly weather. Toph shudders, and it's a startling sight to see her look so small. Without hesitating, Aang shrugs off his coat, and places it over her shoulders.

'Here.'

Toph has half a mind to take it off, but her health gets the better of her, and she wraps it around her. Aang is much taller than she is so the coat drapes over her wonderfully. Grateful, Toph turns in his direction, 'Thanks,' and he's sure there's a smile in her voice.

'Sure.' They walk along in silence for a minute. The moon is especially bright, and the snow has calmed down. Aang looks up, appreciating the midnight sky. 'Well, that was a job well done, wasn't it? You wanna do that again tomorrow?'

'Heh. I would, but I'm afraid I'm busy. Feel free to keep doing what you're doing, though. If anything, it puts us all in a positive image.'

'Anything to help you, Toph. You know that.'

'I take it you have a place to stay tonight?'

'Yeah, thank you.'

He watches her press her palms together. She's so cold, and he takes sympathy. Aang stops, reaches for her hands, and warms them up between his own. He uses his Firebending techniques, using his warmth as a heater of sorts.

'Better?'

'Uh-Huh.'

Aang smiles, looking down at her. 'You should wrap up more.'

'Thanks, mother. I'll note that.'

She sighs, the heat beginning to take effect. It travels from her hands, and spreads through the rest of her body. She shivers from the gradual rise in temperature, and Aang chuckles, finding her behaviour endearing.

'I'm pleased you're back,' she confesses.

'Oh,' he breathes, inching just a little closer. 'Me too.'

A second, two seconds….

'I should go.'

… three…

'Right.'

Reluctantly, Aang lets go of her hands. Toph braces herself for the freeze. 'See you soon,' and he leans down, kisses her cheek, and his breath comes out rushed.

Deciding not to read into his actions, Toph smiles briefly, before walking on ahead. Aang watches out for her, waits; waits until she's turned the corner, out of sight, and he's left in the twilit snow.