I Will Possess Your Heart
Disclaimer: whatever you know is JKR's. I'm forcing myself to post this now otherwise I just end up editing it 80 million times. I'll try to post up chapters as quickly as possible, but as of right now I'm not exactly sure how its all going to go. Reviews will definitely help . I really hope you like it, but let me know anyyyy thoughts on it at all. I LOVE feedback and constructive criticism. And compliments too of course.
Title is from Death Cab's song "I Will Possess Your Heart". I think the song is perfect for L/J… here's a little sample:
"How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound, but in a language that you can't read just yet
You gotta spend some time, love, you gotta spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find, love, I will possess your heart"
Unconsciously, James Potter ran his hand through his untidy black hair as his eyes scanned the platform for a flash of red. He wanted a last glimpse of Lily Evans before summer holidays started and it would be two months before he could see her again. That September would begin his final year at Hogwarts and he was determined to make Lily like him before it was all over. He had a full year left to try, but that hardly seemed like enough time since he had spent the past 6 years ruining his chances with her.
Finding her saying goodbye to her friends Mary Macdonald and Alice Huxley (a/n does anyone know Alice's real last name?), James strolled up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned to look at him, not very surprised but not very pleased at finding him there.
"I just wanted to say have a nice holiday, Evans." He told her, running his hand through his hair as he said it.
"Well you not sending me letters twenty times a day like last summer just might make that possible." She snapped, knowing that if she didn't cut him down right away he would become even more persistent from the "encouragement".
"Ah come on Evans, I just wanted to let you know how much I was thinking of you," he answered with a playful smirk. So what if it's true, he thought to himself, as hard as he tried he couldn't get her out of his head.
"Come off it, Potter, you're just wasting your time anyway. I'm not even remotely interested." She told him snobbishly. Her attitude was not unwarranted, however.
"Fine, fine, just enjoy your summer holidays, ok?"
She gave him a confused frown before nodding and saying "Er, alright, same for you Potter." He gave her his best smile before walking over to Sirius, ruffling his hair again as he went. "Better goodbye than the lake last year. She'll be missing me by August." He told his friend confidently. Both he and his friend knew that he was bluffing, but both pretended not to.
What was that all about? Lily heaved a sigh and continued saying goodbye to her friends, immediately pushing the encounter out of her mind. She had learned from six years of loathing the boy that it was better for her to not dwell on his actions as it only ever seemed to infuriate her more.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
"I've got to do it this year, mates, I've got to get her to realize how great I am." James said emphatically to Sirius Black and Remus Lupin as the three lazed in the sun of James's backyard. It was the first sunny day after a week of rain and the boys had been playing Quidditch all day. Remus snorted in amusement at his friend's confidence.
"Impossible, Prongs. She's just not going to like you." Sirius said casually while flicking his shaggy hair gracefully from his eyes. He didn't even need to ask who James was talking about, as Lily was the only girl he ever talked about, and he did it often. At first he tried to hide how much he actually liked the girl but there were no secrets between the Marauders. The boys were so close that it was impossible for them to hide anything from each other, and James' real feelings for the redhead were quickly discovered.
"Well why not?" James demanded.
"It's been six years, why would she change now?" Remus interjected. Of all the Marauders, he was closest with Lily and he knew that she wasn't James Potter's biggest fan. In fact she would probably be in the "I Hate Potter" Club if there were one.
"If she won't change then I will. I'd do anything to get her to go on a date with me."
Sirius barked a laugh. "Prongs you might have more luck if you Imperiused her. Even if you changed, Lily would still find something wrong with you."
Ignoring him, James turned to Remus. "You know her best, do I have a shot? I mean if I changed and all?"
"I don't know, James, do you really want to change all for a girl?" Remus knew the answer even as he asked the question, and he knew Lily was worth it, but he also knew it wasn't healthy for James to be so obsessed with one girl, particularly one who didn't give a fig about him. He also wasn't sure that Sirius was wrong. He wouldn't put it past Lily to ignore the changes in James.
"Yes, I do. Now what are all the things Lily says are wrong with me?"
Unable to abstain from this part of the conversation, Sirius began to list the many complaints from over the years. "You have a big head, you hex everyone for fun, you ruffle your hair, you stole a snitch, you hate Snivellus, you don't listen to rules, you're immature, you love attention, you don't care enough about schoolwork, you never stop asking her out, something about being a "bullying toe rag"… should I continue?"
"Ok, ok, there's a lot to do. You know what that means?"
"You're giving it all up as a bad job and you'll get over her so we can go back to having fun?"
"No, that is not what it means, Padfoot. It means you lot are going to help me."
"Alright, you know we're here for you mate, what else are Marauders for?" Remus told him, shooting a look at Sirius and stopped him from saying whatever he was going to say.
"Thanks," James said, smiling widely, "Let's get started."
Sirius stifled a groan. Prongs is a great guy, why is he going to change that for some broad?
"You guys have to let me know when I'm, you know, being a git or whatever." James told them seriously, and Sirius began to laugh at the prospect of it. Maybe it wouldn't be as much of a chore as he'd originally thought.
Surprisingly that summer James put as much effort into becoming suitable for Lily as he had done every past summer to hone his now impeccable Chaser skills. Remus was there to tell him why Lily found his behavior so distasteful, and James was shamed to see that she actually was right about a lot of things. Peter provided endless support, constantly optimistic that it Lily would see the marked changes he had made. Sirius did his part to point out when James was still being a "git" from Lily's point of view anyway, and brought a lightheartedness to James' obsession. Lily, unknowingly, brought humility and modesty to James because there was no guarantee that she would like him after all, and this too James came to accept. He was no longer arrogant, immature and insincere. Now all that was left was to get Lily to realize it.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Why did Petunia have to be so terrible? Lily Evans questioned to herself as she hurried down the train corridor, searching for her two best friends. Petunia's tantrum had nearly caused her to miss the train. Lily's only regret about joining the magical world was the gigantic rift it caused between her and her sister. The two girls had been inseparable until the first time Lily boarded the Hogwarts Express, ever since then Petunia resented Lily and everything attached to her new world. She pushed away these thoughts as she waved hello to her fellow classmates, still searching for Mary and Alice.
"Alright, Evans?" a figure asked, stepping in front of Lily's path. It was in a much kinder tone that he usually used, but the gleam on his chest distracted her from noticing. She nearly did a double take.
"Yes, I'm fine. Why are you wearing that badge?" she questioned. She could not understand why James Potter would be wearing the Head Boy's pin. He probably stole it from someone else to play a joke on me.
"Well, you see, Dumbledore made me Head Boy and-" he told her, jamming his hands into his pockets.
"What?" she said sharply, cutting him off "Why would he do that?"
"I was sort of wondering that myself. I haven't been the most disciplined student after all…" he told her with a playful smirk.
"At least you're not deluded about everything, Potter. I don't have the time to lecture you but just please do your best not to muck up the whole job. Now please get out of the way so I can find my friends."
"Congratulations on Head Girl, Evans. I knew you'd get it." he continued, ignoring her request and standing his ground. He couldn't help but smile down at her, making Lily feel all the more confused and annoyed by his actions.
"Yes, well thanks. If you don't mind though I really have got to find Alice and Mary, and I really need you to get out of the way." She told him matter-of-factly. She was trying her best not to yell at Potter. She would have to work with him all year and he strangely did seem to be trying to be nice. And he hadn't written her once all summer so her patience with him had grown slightly.
"Luckily for you, I know where they're sitting." He told her, grabbed her trunk and began to lead her down the hall. She had no choice but to follow him although she made it clear that she wasn't very happy about it. Finally he opened one of the doors and set her trunk down on the floor.
"Well…thanks" she huffed again, sounding very confused before turning to walk through the door.
"Evans, I er, I guess I'll see you later." He told her, nodding a goodbye. After he heard the door close he ran his hand through his hair and heaved a sigh. What am I doing?
"Head Girl! Oh Lily I just knew it'd be you!" Alice exclaimed as she hugged her friend tightly.
"Really? I was a bit surprised, I thought it might go to Melinda Gobshaw in Ravenclaw." Lily replied, hugging her friend back. It had been months since they'd seen each other because Alice had visited her boyfriend Frank Longbottom and then spent the summer in France with her parents and two brothers.
"And you're not the most responsible witch in our year?" Mary Macdonald interjected as she hurried over to hug her best friend. With all the excited chatter, they were halfway to Hogwarts before Lily jumped up to put on her robes for the prefect meeting.
"Have fun with James, try not to fight too much!" Mary called out after her. Lily pulled a face, clearly showing distaste for the Head Boy.
"It's going to be twice as much work having to keep him in line now, too." She said angrily. She wasn't pleased that Dumbledore's pick for Head Boy was more immature and irresponsible than nearly the whole school.
Alice waited until Lily was down the hall and out of earshot before saying excitedly to Mary "Did you see how James carried her trunk? And he was being really nice. What do you think it's all about?"
"I knew you were waiting this whole time to say something, you little matchmaker. Whatever he's trying this time it isn't going to work."
"See, you even noticed it. Maybe he's changed. He's being nice."
"Alice, it's not like Lily even hates him, she just doesn't care. She probably won't even notice, at any rate." Mary had a point. Although she and Alice noticed James's many ploys to get Lily's attention, Lily didn't. She only saw his big, annoying announcements or his troublemaking, both of which she detested.
"Fine, we'll just see then, won't we? I'm right, I know it."
"If you know all about romance then who should I go to the first Hogsmeade weekend with, Shane Dougherty or Magnus Houghton?"
"Neither, you're too good for them."
"If I listened to you, I'd never date anyone." Mary joked.
Alice and Mary found Lily on the platform with a very confused look on her face and her eyes following James Potter's retreating back.
"How'd it go?" Alice questioned lightly. Lily shook her head and turned to her friend.
"Surprisingly well. No hexing and he was even civil to the Slytherins. I didn't even have to warn him. I think Remus gave him a few pointers. Maybe this wont be as absolutely, completely terrible as I thought." She said and linked arms with her friends while starting off towards the horseless carriages.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
"Evans! Hey Evans wait!" James called out to her after the feast over the rush of students heading upstairs. To his surprise she turned around to wait for him. He took this as a good sign.
"I'm assuming this is about Head duties."
"Not exactly." He admitted. She turned and was about to continue up the stairs before he grabbed her arm. "It's about our Head dorms." She stopped and a smile was tugging on the corners of her lips. Last year's Head Girl had told her that the room was absolutely amazing.
"What is it?"
"Dumbledore said he knew I already knew where they were so he told me the password and said to take you. D'you want to go now or-"
"Now!" she said excitedly, cutting him off. He laughed and began to walk towards the fifth floor tower with Lily following closely behind him. Her excitement over the beautiful room that was about to be all hers was blocking out any thoughts of dislike towards James at the moment. They finally came to stop at a statue of a centaur.
"Gillyweed." James said proudly.
"That is correct. I will tell you the rules before you enter. The password will only work for the two of you. No visitors are allowed in these chambers. You have no curfew but are expected only to be out after regular hours with good reason. Headmaster Dumbledore trusts you." The centaur finished and moved aside as a door opened in the wall to allow them access.
"Ladies first." James said and Lily rushed in excitedly but stopped shortly to admire the room. James nudged her forward a little to make his way in as well. The common room was spacious with the back wall covered in windows. The floor and fireplace were white marble and everything was decorated in crimson and gold brocade for the two Gryffindors. There were two writing desks along the windows and two matching couches, armchairs and ottomans set up cozily in the center of the room. To the right Lily saw a door with her name engraved on it and quickly opened it. The walls were covered in white and gold brocade that matched the duvet on her canopy bed. Sheer white curtains hung around it and a fire was crackling in her marble fireplace. The ceiling was covered in intricate gold moldings. The whole room seemed cast in a happy glow. She wondered just how Dumbledore knew exactly what she wanted. Her entire life she had dreamed of a room like this, or ever since she'd been to Versailles on holiday with her parents when she was thirteen. Once she got over the marvel of her room she crossed back through the common room and knocked on the door that said James Potter. It opened to reveal James with a shocked look on his face at seeing Lily standing there.
"Can I see your room?" she asked, her curiousness overcoming her embarrassment at actually asking a boy, James Potter of all boys, to see his room.
"Erm, sure." He said, fighting to keep his lewd comment to himself. Remus had taught him enough that Lily thought his insinuating she wanted to sleep with him was being a git. He opened the door wider to allow her entry. To her surprise his room was a lot like a dormitory. It held a four-poster bed, although bigger than usual and done in navy blue. The walls were a dark wood and the floor was white marble like all the others. He had already began to unpack and there were a few things scattered across the room.
"Blue?" she asked, surprised that it wasn't done in crimson and gold in the Gryffindor tradition.
"Yeah. It's my favorite color. Why'd you want to see my room, Evans?" he asked.
"I thought it'd be all done up like mine. I guess Dumbledore just likes me better." She told him with a joking smirk and began to walk out.
"Let me see yours then if it's so great." He said, following her.
"You can't come in my room!"
"Why not? You saw mine."
"Yes but you're a boy."
"Don't be such a prude, Evans. I'm just going to look at it." He told her and marched through her door. She stood there shocked for a moment at his comment but then quickly followed to give him a piece of her mind.
"Just because I don't want you in my room and I don't go off snogging people in every corner of the castle does not make me a prude!" she told him scathingly and was preparing herself for another argument.
"I know, Evans. I was just taking the mickey out of you. I like that you're respectable." He told her calmly. She stood there wordlessly, completely confused that the words she just heard actually came out of Potter's mouth.
"You room's nice. I've got to finish unpacking. G'night." He told her and walked back into his own room.
"Night." She called softly before quickly unpacking and settling in to bed. She fell asleep wondering just what her last year of Hogwarts was going to be like and hoping it wouldn't end too quickly. From her musings it was obvious that she was no Cassandra Trelawney, however, because 7th year had much more in store for her than she expected.