Twilight Spoof

Disclaimer: I don't own You don't sue GOT IT!?!?

MY IDEA PLEASE DON'T STEAL!

BOLD means I took from trailer BOLD ITALICS means I made up but is in the trailer. BOLD ITALICS UNDERLINE means not in trailer.

Bella looks outside her window to see Edward leaning against his car.

"I know what you are..."

A close up on Edward in a baseball outfit.

"You're impossibly fat..."

Edward eats a McDonald burger and moans.

"And strong..."

Edward picks up a fold up chair and groans whispering "Oh...God.."

"Your skin is frail white and ice cold"

Edward screams really loud in a high pitch squeal. He then pulls out the sewing needle and whimpers at the blood.

Edward stands behind Bella in their meadow.

"Say it. Say it out loud!" Edward commanded.

A close up on Bella's mouth.

"Werewolf."

"Wait, what?"

Edward looks at Bella.

"So are you afraid?"

"Yes"

A picture of a tree from the blare witch movie appears. Edward and Bella are walking towards a lake.

"I'm not the most dangerous thing out there."

Three people are running at a really fast pace. There names are Peter Griffin, Dora the Explorer, and Bob Saget.

Meg from Family Guy runs, falls, and screams while three shadows loom over her.

Charlie walks in front of Bella who is leaning against her truck.

"Security guard, Meg Griffin, was attacked by some kind of animal."

Bella's gaze follows Charlie.

"An animal?"

Bella is wearing a hat and is standing behind Edward when a breeze comes and blows her hair. Everyone tenses as Peter Griffin sniffs the air.

"You brought a Snapple."

Edward growls while cradling his Snapple to his chest and narrows his eyes at Peter.

Bella freaks out in the car with Edward while holding onto Edward's Snapple.

"So what he wants to kill me?!"

Edward looks excited and jumps up in down in his seat.

"No! He wants to play tag!" Edward said very excitedly and very seriously.

Peter is skipping singing "Lalala lala!" as Bob says;

"He has unparalleled senses... absolutely lethal..."

After Bob said that Peter tried to jump on the car, missed completely and hit a tree.

"I'll do whatever it takes to make you safe again"

Edward pets the Snapple, completely ignoring Bella and she is looking at him like he is a retarded monkey eating a squirrel.

"The hunt is his obsession, he'll never stop!"

Peter is hiding behind a phone booth and stares at a couple enjoying their Burger King. He narrows his eyes at the whopper and throws a spear at it. The whopper and the spear go sailing to the ground and he giggles like a little school girl and skips to his meal. When he gets there he sees the couple staring at him and he hisses "my meal, MINE!"

Peter takes a camera and throws the Snapple to the floor where it has a lot of pillows.

"Tell him to avenge you, TELL HIM!"

Peter goes sailing into the floor boards by a distraught and crazy Edward.

END.

TWILIGHT

12.12.08 (LIE!!)

Lol tell me whatcha think! And I know I'm bad at writing but I couldn't get this out of my head. I also hated the movie Bella was a horrible actress!