Disclaimer: sadly I do not own gossip girl or any of the characters if I did season 3 would have ended with a BANG! and not with wtf moments instead of om- where there nearest bathroom moments lol it did make me sick no joke stomach got turned inside out by the uk promo so i wont watch the unthinkable scenes with a certain Basstard who I still love but he needs to get on his knees and beg for mercy lol. so JS and SS have the rights to the show i do not. If I did me and Ed would hang out all the time ;)

Summary: Sometimes there are things in life that leave you marked forever. They may be mistakes you have made that have caused the people you love great pain they may be the scar from a bullet wound that may fade over time but will always be there, a constant reminder OR they may be the markings left behind from a certain BASStard who no matter how many times has hurt you and caused you pain. HE HAS RUINED YOU for the rest and he still consumes your mind, body, and soul and no matter how hard you try to run away from it and turn your back you can't because your heart always will gravitate back to him, the one who caused your pain. It's because you have been marked forever.

Marked Forever

Chapter 1

I would love for someone to tell me why my favorite city besides Manhattan has to be Paris. Or why my father and Roman left me with my mother and came here or why my mother and Cyrus had to follow them and move here as well. Why did my family have to move here out of all the places in the world? Oh and yes can someone please tell me why I thought the best place to be after getting my heart ripped out of my chest is the most romantic city on Earth? Now I see that Tuscany would have been a much better choice after all what better way to hate on the BASSTARD and get over him by going to the place where he deserted me right?

Don't get me wrong I have been having the time of my life. I have been having so much FUN that Serena Queen of the woo girls is finding it hard to keep up. I guess it's tiring going to bars each night, out drinking everyone, letting hot men take shots off of you, dancing on tables and on top of bars, going home with cute French boys who I don't care to learn there names is tiring if your not me. But no I'm not tired I am having the time of my LIFE. I unsubscribed to gossip girl but Serena hasn't and her phone is constantly going off I don't have to steal her phone to know what the buzz is all about I already know it's saying I'm Serena 2.0 and guess what I don't care what the gossip bitch has to say about me. Crazy right Blair Waldorf not caring well it's true I don't.

For once Serena knows the real story she knows the TRUTH. She knows my "FUN" is a cover up because she is the one who runs into my room in the middle of the night because of my reoccurring nightmares. The nightmares I think are just nightmares but when I wake up screaming I see that he isn't there and that those nightmares are just my head replaying the reality of my life. She is also the only one who knows that I have relapsed again.

The thing is my heart isn't just broken over one thing it is also hurting because the code of my inner circle has been broken. WE now JUDGE or even if it is just for this one time, that's all it takes to break up the bond that we have had since infancy. I guess it makes sense I'm "QUEEN B" and I'm broken I mean how could a royal court possibly stay strong when it's Queen has fallen down and has yet to get up from the fall. It's only fitting that the Kingdom has fallen, the Non-judging breakfast club has been torn apart.

"Blair," Serena shouted," Earth to Blair!"

"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts.

"I just said that there is a cute little headband boutique right over there," she pointed to a little store across the street. Before I could even object she grabbed my hand and dragged me across the street and pushed me into the boutique. "B look at all these headbands they are gorgeous," she said to me with her bright smile.

Serena was right they were all so beautiful each one more exquisite than the last. These headbands were truly meant for a queen.

"Blair look at this one," Serena said to me as she picked up a crystal-encrusted headband and placed it in my hands. I couldn't deny it this headband was so breath taking and in fact it probably was the one headband I had been searching my entire life for well at least 19 years of my life for. I went over to the mirror that was right by the display window of the store that showed the beautiful Paris streets. I gently placed the headband on my head and looked in the mirror. It was a perfect match for me I'm pretty sure that it was made just for Blair Waldorf and I closed my eyes and smiled a real smile. But when I opened my eyes I realized this headband wasn't for me, it was for Blair the little girl who still believed in fairy tales. I no longer believe in childish dreams and I don't need to go put a headband back on my head to hide again I don't need to be that insecure person. I slowly took the headband off and smiled because I'm free I will no longer be the girl who is trapped and hides behind dreams because I'm Blair Waldorf and everyone should know the real ME. As I was taking the headband off I smiled again to myself and I looked up out of the store window and I saw him. I saw the BASSTARD who completely broke me. He was looking right at me as if he knew everything that was going through my mind as if he knew what I just told myself. He stood there for a second and made eye contact with me and wore his trademark smirk and nodded and then went off with some tall blond woman. And he was gone and it wasn't a ghost it was him and he was really in Paris. Just as quickly as this happened I felt my chest tightening, restricting oxygen from filling my lungs, I felt my knees starting to buckle.

"SERENA," I screamed. She dropped the headbands she was holding and ran over to me as my legs gave out and I fell to the ground.

"Blair what's happening," she was panicked," Blair what's wrong?"

"He," I couldn't breathe, "H ugh h ugh HE," I swallowed trying to muster up the strength to say it, "he is here, he is here Serena!" I screamed.

"Who, who is here?" Serena said looking around and saw no one but a very confused and worried French sales clerk.

"I, I, I saw CHUCK," it was the first time I said his name in two months and with that my panic attack went into full effect and that was the last thing I remember before passing out in Serena's arms.

TBC

A/N also this story will not be all from Blair's point of view so I will at some point change so from now on I will put a BPOV or CPOV but it wont happen for a while i dont know for sure yet but as right now its all blair's thoughts and perspective. also introducing a new Character may or may not stick around IDK yet and another one but it will be addressed later and there will be a rant about it. Also REVIEW please press the button and review because it makes me smile and want to write more so press the button and make me smile.

xoxo