A/N: So...odd idea...but here it is. Also - most grammatical errors/misspellings are intentional! Translation: half of these texts - they're supposed to be drunk.
Saturday, July 13th, 1:34AM
Stiles to Derek: Ddderekkkk! My fav werewolffffff!
Derek: Are you drunk?
Stiles: Drunk? Wazzthat?
Derek: Where are you? I'm coming to get you.
Stiles: Um…Scottshouse mayb
Derek: Maybe?
Stiles: Pshh idk maaan
Derek: Don't do anything ELSE stupid before I get there.
Stiles: DEREK THEY'RE DOING KAREOKE! We should sing aaaaaa duet!
Derek: Don't you DARE grab that microphone or I'll make you ride in my trunk.
Stiles: Which trunk are we talking here? ;)
Derek: Oh…my God.
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Sunday, July 14th, 12:39PM
Derek: Hey, Scott – is Stiles…gay?
Scott: What? No! Why would you ask that?
Derek: He was being very…odd in his texts last night.
Scott: He was DRUNK last night.
Derek: People often tell the truth under intoxication.
Scott: Who are you, Dr. Drew? He's not gay. I would know.
Derek: Um…you would?
Scott: Ugh – nevermind! I'll be over at your house for the meeting in ten.
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Monday, July 15th, 10:45PM
Allison: You're a WILF
Scott: Wtf?
Allison: Werewolf I'd like to…
Scott: Um…are you feeling okay?
Allison: I'm AWESOME.
Scott: Okay, Allison? I think you should get some sleep.
Allison: With YOU?
Scott: I'll come over. But we'll just SLEEP. Okay?
Allison: Sureeeee.
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Tuesday, July 16th, 11:30AM
Stiles: What is up with Scott and Allison lately? They're more…lovey-dovey than normal.
Derek: Mating season.
Stiles: Ha. Ha. Ha. Wait. For real?
Stiles: Derek?
Stiles: IS THAT A THING?
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Friday, July 19th, 8:30PM
Issac to Stiles: Stiiiilllllleeeeeesssssss
Stiles: How did you get my number?
Issac: I have waaaays, noble one
Stiles: Why the hell are you texting me?
Issac: I'm lonely.
Stiles: Oh my God…just hang out with Catwoman.
Issac: ya know, Erica digs that
Stiles: For real?
Issac: yeah, she ALWAYS goin on bout you
Stiles: I don't know whether to be flattered or extremely frightened.
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Saturday, July 20th, 7:54PM
Jackson to Scott: What would happen if you and Allison had a baby? Would it come out as a werewolf?
Scott: DUDE! What is your problem!
Jackson: This is a legit question, man. Why have you not thought of this before?
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9:20PM
Lydia to Stiles: rrrrrrrr
Stiles: ?
Lydia: Sorry. Butt-texted…Jackson had me pressed up against the car.
Stiles: MY EYES! THANKS A LOT FOR THAT IMAGE.
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Friday, August 8th, 6:40AM
Stiles to Scott: PSST.
Scott: What's up?
Stiles: …I'm in a strange person's bed.
Scott: Wtf? What are you talking about? Where are you?
Stiles: I don't know! Whoever it is, their blanket smells amazing.
Scott: STILES! WHERE. ARE. YOU?
Stiles: Oh, shit, ya know what? I think this is Erica's bed.
Scott: ?
Stiles: GOTTA GO!
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Saturday, August 17th, 11:00PM
Lydia to Stiles: I can't decide whether or not to go commando under my dress…
Stiles: UHHHH? First of all, do girls even SAY commando? Why the hell are you asking me? Not that I don't appreciate that you asked but…
Lydia: Allison, this is urgent. Matters.
Stiles: This isn't Allison…
Lydia: Damn it.
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Sunday, August 18th, 2:20AM
Stiles to Scott: CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, COME ON!
Scott: Please tell me you aren't dancing on top of a table. Again.
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3:45AM
Jackson to Derek: Do you only own leather jackets? I neva see ya in anything else.
Derek: Why do you have a sudden interest in my fashion choices?
Jackson: I mean…it's a good look…a very good look butttt why
Derek: Someone needs to take your phone away once you have beer.
Jackson: Someone needs to take your clothes away.
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Wednesday, August 21st, 9:00AM
Stiles to Scott: Did we both pass out talking about cupcakes last night?
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Thursday, August 22nd, 12:00AM
Derek to Stiles: If I don't make it out of this and get arrested, DON'T WORRY – that chick at the police station totes has the hots. Alls I gotta do is pretend like I dropped somethin
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Friday, August 23rd, 7:22AM
Allison to Lydia: Did something bad happen last night?
Lydia: You asked if you could throw up in my purse.
Allison to Lydia: Tell me why I'm wearing water wings right now.
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11:45PM
Jackson to Scott: I'm way classier than you when I'm drunk. I can STAND.
Stiles: Either I danced in a flash mob last night or my hallucinations learned how to pop and lock.
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Saturday, August 24th, 12:00AM
Lydia to Allison: Your dad is actually kinda hot.
Allison: Oh my God…
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3:25PM
Stiles to Scott: Did Derek hold you up last night and sing "The Circle of Life" really loudly?
Scott: …no.
Stiles: Then I've had one crazy dream to tell you about…
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Tuesday, August 27th, 9:55PM
Scott to Derek: What if we all wore capes next time we went up against some hunters and called us The Pack Attack?
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Wednesday, August 28th, 10:07PM
Stiles to Derek & Scott: Next time you guys Change I'm playing "Eye of the Tiger" and you can't say NUTHIN'.
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Thursday, August 29th, 8:45AM
Scott to Stiles: You threw a bone at me last night and called me Lassie.
Stiles to Scott: Jackson tried to get me to go out last night 'cause I am 'too single'. I am so not single. I am in a committed relationship with my Mac.
Scott: Please don't give me any more details.
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Friday, September 8th, 9:59PM
Stiles to Derek: You need to tame your new wolf, Erica. She beat me up last night with a box of frozen waffles.
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Saturday, September 9th, 7:07AM
Jackson to Scott: I cried last night watching The Notebook. Don't tell Lydia.
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8:43AM
Derek to Issac: You wore a tutu last night.
Issac: REBECCA BLACK IS ON YOUR 'TOP 25 PLAYED' LIST. DO NOT JUDGE ME.
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10:14AM
Lydia to Allison: …girl, I don't remember anything else other than you running around with a can of Cheez-Whiz and asking 'where the crackers at?'
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12:00PM
Scott to Stiles: You left your Batman action figures in my mom's car.
Stiles to Scott: I think I told everyone last night that I'm a foot model.
Scott: You also passed out in the pool.
Stiles: Oh, no…
The end!