A One-shot

(Derek's POV)

I was totally peeved. I couldn't believe I had to drive back to retrieve a flippin notebook. I sighed and started to make my way down the empty hallway which felt incredibly eerie today. I glanced around a bit nervous. Pfft. There was nothing to worry about.

"I love you," I suddenly heard. It was hard to hear for it was only a whisper. I just continued to walk thinking I was hearing things. "I've loved you for forever," came the voice again.

I quickened my pace and I heard it again.

"I want to whisper sweet nothings in your ear," it whispered again. I gulped and my heart rate was going a mile a minute. Oh god. A stalker!

"You didn't lose that sock in the laundry. I stole it and do rituals around it every night before bed," it whispered. I felt sweat drip from my face. All I had to do was get to my locker and then I could sprint.

"I have erotic fantasies about us and a palm tree."

As I continued down the hallway they got worse and worse.

"Your ass is the most beautiful thing in the world."

"I spy on you in the steamy showers."

"I have a strand of your hair…nose hair."

"I saved every tissue you have ever used."

I quickened my pace until I was practically jogging.

"I made out with a cat."

I stopped confused.

"That has no relevance. My bad."

I continued to walk again. I finally reached my locker and took a breath of relief when the whispers stopped. I turned around and was suddenly face to face with my best friend.

"Dude! You scared the hell out of me!" I laughed. He was serious when he suddenly grabbed my face and brought his lips to mine. I was filled with disgust and the taste of vile rose in my throat. There was a sudden shriek and I thought it was a girl. But when Sam and I broke apart we saw it was Ralph.

He stepped forward and slapped Sam. "I gave you the best years of my life, you bitch!" he screamed before running away in tears. Sam ran after him and I went about my day as if nothing had happened.

Ok. So its a little past 9 and I have a fit of the giggles. It all started with this Derek/Sam Cuppy Cake vid and then there was a link to a Chad and Troy one...rofl. Chad seemed so stalkerish and BAM! Instant idea. I wrote this while still in hysterics. So if there are any mistakes please forgive me. Anyway, this is supposed to be funny..shrugs hope you liked it. I know my stomach hurts from laughing so hard.

J.S. Goldberg