Upside Down By Nadja Lee 16/04/01
English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.
Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel , 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.
Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.
Timeline: Set after the movie.
Universe: Set in the movie universe. Only the movie NOT the book that goes with it!
Pairing: Scott/Jean, Scott/Rogue,
Summery: Rogue thinks about Scott
Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.
Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@usa.net
Rating: PG
Dedicated to: Helene, Julia, Jemi, April and Jaguarita. Thanks for your kindness and friendship.
Thanks to Christina for the Beta.
*mmmm * is telepathically thoughts spoken in the mind. " mmmmm " is spoken out loud.
Part 1:
I watch him. I notice his every move. I know the way he'll say words and when he'll ask questions. I notice how a fibre will vibrate in his cheek when he is displeased. I notice those things. It is Monday morning and I sit by my desk between Kitty and Jubilee. The others want our teacher to be late to this our first class this week but secretly I wish him to hurry up. The bell rings and I get butterflies in my stomach. He is on time as always and Jubilee tries to contain a sigh. And as always I watch him. When first I arrived at the school I was scared, didn't know what to think. Then I touched Logan and I definitely didn't like One-Eye….hmm, Scott. But now six months later….
Logan is still not back and I have felt very alone. Sure, Jubilee and Kitty tried to help but I felt really down. Then one day some three months ago I got the letter I had sent home back. Unopened. I was so sad. My parents, my own parents, didn't want me. Scott came to me in the garden and talked with me. Really talked with me. Sure, he started with the usual stuff about it not being my fault and all but when he saw it didn't help…..
" Marie….you are not alone," Scott said softly and took my gloved hand in his. I looked shocked at our hands. Only Logan had been unafraid of my touch. I still remember how Ororo drew away from me when I had touched Logan in his bedroom that first night. She didn't mean to but I saw the fear and despair in her eyes. And Ms. Grey…..I really don't know. She is hard to get to know. So….distant. The Logan in me lusts for her which makes me hate her. Okay, I admit it; I had a crush on Logan but hey, who wouldn't? He saved me, took me in and cared for me. It wasn't till I felt him in my head and knew his thoughts and feelings that I saw that his love for me was the love for a child or a sister while his lust or love if one can even call it that for Ms. Grey was for a woman. Not only knowing this but feeling it as well kinda cooled my crush on him.
" I am alone. I'll always be alone. Even my own family doesn't want me," I said tearstained. He shook his head.
" It isn't like that, Marie. Not at all. If they don't want you then they don't know what they are missing," he said softly. Angered I tore my hand to me.
" You have no clue what I'm going through so don't pretend that you do," I said angrily.
" You think you are the only mutant to lose your family, do you? You think your mutation is the worst in the world? You got it bad, agreed, but so did many others. At least you HAD a family, even if it was only for 17 years," Scott said, his voice harsh.
" Who has it worse? I can't fucking touch anyone," I said and knew I sounded like a spoiled brat but didn't care.
" Okay, you wanna know? Fine. Maybe that will stop this pity thing you have going," he said angrily and I was about to say I didn't have a "pity thing" but he didn't let me. " For starters there is the Professor. He can't walk, he'll never be able to walk and on top of that he fights a man who he once loved," Scott started. I sat there in total shock.
" He told you that?!"
" Of course not but even I notice some things even if some think I'm a "cold-hearted stick in the mud", " Scott said a little more gently and I blushed when he gave Jubilee's description back to me. I had been there and had laughed with the others at Jubilee's name-calling. We had meant no harm by it but now I regretted that I hadn't said something against it.
" Then there is Ororo. She saw her patents killed in Cairo and grew up on the streets. She was thought a Goddess but lost all that when she came to the USA to be a X-man. Her powers are awe-inspiring but it is her mood which controls the weather. She has to always stay in control. If she gets too angry she'll make a tornado appear."
" I...didn't know," I said softly. Poor Ororo. She has always been so kind to me.
" Not many know. Many hide their pain but it is still there. You just have the disadvantage that your greatest pain you are forced to always show the world," he said gently and his hand gave my gloved one a gentle squeeze.
" What about….Ms. Grey?" I asked. I was curious now about the others. What they went through. Their tale gave me strength.
" Jean has loving parents who still lives. They know of her mutation and understands," Scott said and when he saw my face fall because that was what I wanted he quickly added; " But then there are the mutants in the Brotherhood. I have often wondered about their fates and lives. It can't have been easy to live with blue skin or looking like a giant frog or bear," Scott said with a half-smile.
" I....never thought of that," I admitted. I had never thought of them as people. They were....the bad guys. Man, my grades on human understanding were down from As to Ds since I joined this school.
" There are many on this school who have had it hard. Logan must have had a very hard life; the experiment, not knowing who he really is or where he comes from. Or Remy who lived as a thief on the streets, Jubilee who was a mall rat, Bobby who had a hard time in his old High School, or John who by accident burned down his parents house when his powers of fire first manifested themselves and many others. Some come here with little problems and some with big ones but all have problems," Scott said softly and I nodded. I had been selfish in my misery.
" What about you?" I felt bold enough to ask. For a long while he said nothing.
" I...lost my parents as a child. I went to an orphanage and later ran away and lived on the streets. I lived with a foster father for a while named Jack. Xavier found me there," he said emotionlessly and I was sure he wasn't telling all.
" Do you and Jack still keep in touch?" I asked, hoping that maybe he'll know what I could do to break through to my mom and dad. He drew back from me and stood up.
" No, nor do I want to," he said harshly and left. Baffled I stared after him.
And that was how I came to notice Scott. That was how my eyes came to follow his every move.
He is a good man and a good friend and maybe………
The End