Disclaimer: One Piece belongs to Oda-sensei. I am not Oda-sensei, therefore I don't own One Piece.
We aren't caught up in your love affair
The three of them sat on the railing of the ship, the threads of their fishing-rods hanging loosely down, disappearing into the ocean. They hadn't caught anything the last few hours. However, that wasn't the reason for their grumpy faces.
"It's not fair," Usopp complained.
"You're right, Usopp-san," Brook agreed. "What do they have what we don't?"
Usopp smirked for a bit. "They've got a lot what you don't have, Brook."
The skeleton seemed to brighten up a little too. "You're right! 'Cause I'm just bones, Yohohoho~!" However, when he was done laughing, his depressed expression returned. "But still... you can't call them very human either."
"Indeed, Luffy is like a rubber ball with inhuman strength." The sharpshooter sighed. "Franky is like a robot, but that is very cool."
"It is cool, but is that what it takes for a lady to show her panties to you?" The musician wondered.
"Oi, I don't think she's just showing him her panties," Usopp said with a little jealousy in his voice.
"Hmmm." The two friends looked down at the young doctor sitting between them, who seemed to be thinking hard. "It's good for people to be in love, it usually means they are more energetic and they're physically fitter. But… I don't understand why they almost don't spend any time with us anymore." Chopper pouted.
"Yeah, Robin keeps Franky up at his working place all the time and Luffy only seems to have an eye for Nami these days," Usopp said annoyed. "Well, and Sanji, but that's only for the food."
"Talking about Sanji," Brook began, looking in the direction of the kitchen. "Don't you think it's strange it doesn't seem to bother him much?"
"Yeah," the other two pirates nodded in unison.
"He's swooning over Nami and Robin just as much as before." The long nosed man frowned. "Like they aren't in a relationship at all."
"Although," Chopper said, looking as if he had just figured something out. "He does lock himself in the kitchen very often lately, not letting anyone enter."
Usopp blinked for a moment as he thought. "You're right, Chopper. I assumed it was just to keep Luffy from eating everything before served, but maybe he's just depressed and crying to himself, behind that door!" The man looked shocked he hadn't realized that before.
"Maybe we should talk to him," Brook opted.
"But he won't let us in!" the reindeer reminded him.
"Oh, you're right. We'll talk to him after dinner then."
The trio got back to staring out over the wide ocean.
Usopp sighed. "I just don't get it. Why can Luffy and Franky get a girlfriend and we not? I mean, I'm the great Captain Usopp! Girls should be dying to date me!"
"Yes, I know how you feel. I was very popular with the girls when I was touring," Brook said, thinking back at his time as Soul King. "But I never had a girlfriend back then."
They fell silent again, until the sniper spoke: "Chopper, don't you want a girlfriend?"
"Eh?! Me? A girlfriend?" The little doctor looked at him with big eyes, almost as if he was shocked by the suggestion of him having a girlfriend.
"Yeah, you're seventeen, aren't you interested in girls?" Usopp asked, smiling at his friend.
Chopper looked at his feet. "I don't know… " He shrugged. "I don't think I'll ever have a girlfriend… I was rejected by my own herd, after all. I don't think there will be a female who likes me."
Usopp was a little taken aback. He was seeing Chopper so much as a human being – a cute and fluffy human being, truth to be said – that he forgot the doctor was originally a reindeer everytime. And with that, wanted a reindeer girlfriend. "Oh… I-I'm sure you'll find someone, one day!" he tried to cheer up his young nakama.
Chopper shrugged. "I don't really mind. As long as I've got you guys." His two friends smiled slightly. Maybe he was right, why would they need a girlfriend if they had each other? Well, it wasn't quite the same…
The three of them were suddenly scared by loud splash in the water, as if something heavy had fallen from the sky. A few seconds later a large, dead fish was thrown on the deck, right beside where the friends were sitting. Their eyes grew wide at the sudden sight of the big animal. They turned their head back at where the fish had come from. A familiar head with green hair popped up from out of the water and the three friends let out a relieved sigh.
"Zoro is scary." A shiver ran down Chopper's spine.
Usopp shook his head. "Yeah, he will never get a girlfriend." He made sure the person in question didn't hear him, though.
"What?" Zoro asked, looking at their faces as he climbed back up on deck. "With the rate you're catching fish, we'll starve before we reach the next island." He sat down on the railing, a few feet away from them. "What are you nagging about?"
Usopp snorted. "Nothing, you wouldn't understand."
Zoro shrugged. "If it's nothing, then quit the sad faces."
"Zoro, have you ever had a girlfriend?" The long nosed man asked nevertheless.
The green haired swordsman raised an eyebrow. "No. Why?"
"Let me guess, you probably don't want one either, am I right?" Usopp sighed.
Brook and Chopper looked curiously at Zoro. The latter chuckled. "You're right. Girls are annoying and only whining about how cute or un-cute things are. Besides, you'd have to watch not to break their fragile body if you'd want to touch them."
"You would have to, indeed! With your inhuman strength." The sharpshooter snorted again. "As I said, you don't understand."
"Zoro-san, do you know what's going on with Sanji?" Brook asked.
Zoro smirked. Was it coincidence they started about Sanji right after asking if he had a girlfriend? "That shit cook? Why should I know? What about him?"
"Well, he's still acting the same towards Nami and Robin, though they're now in a relationship," the skeleton explained.
"Yeah, he doesn't seems bothered by it," Chopper said. "But on the other hand he does seem to lock himself inside the kitchen more lately."
The green haired man couldn't keep the grin off his face. "Is that so?"
"Nami-swan! Robin-chwan! Dinner is ready!" Sanji's voice beamed over the ship.
Zoro got on his feet. "Should I go talk to him?"
The three friends looked at him as if had just gone crazy. "You? Talk to him?" Usopp asked disbelieving. "That would probably make matters worse."
Zoro chuckled. They really had no idea, did they?
"But the four of us can talk to him after dinner, right?" Chopper asked worried.
Usopp nodded and the trio stood up. Zoro smiled. "That should be interesting."
Sanji picked up the dirty plates and put them into the sink. Luffy and Nami had already gone somewhere else and soon Franky and Robin left the table too. Sanji noticed with a smile that Zoro kept seated on his hair. But so did Usopp, Chopper and Brook. He could feel their eyes burning holes in his back.
The blonde turned around to face them. They were all looking seriously worried at him, except for Zoro, who was just smirking. The cook raised his eyebrow. "What?"
Usopp cleared his throat. "Sanji," he began in a serious tone. "Maybe you should sit down for a bit."
What the hell? It was like they were going to announce something terrible, though with Zoro smirking like that, he couldn't possibly think of something he would have to sit down for. He did nonetheless.
"What's the matter?" He asked a little worried, when he sat down.
"Sanji, we are a little worried about you," Chopper began. "Are you fully aware that Nami and Robin are in a relationship now?"
Sanji frowned. "Yeah, of course, why?"
"Well, it doesn't really seem to affect you," Usopp explained. "You're still acting like you did before, around them."
"They wanna know why you're not angry, jealous or sad about it, Love-Cook." Zoro looked at him with an amused smirk.
The bastard! He was just here to mock him. Just for his own amusement. Sanji scowled at him.
"Yeah," Usopp continued. "We all envy of Luffy and Franky a little, because they have a girlfriend – well, except Zoro – but you don't seem to. While we actually expected you to be more envious than the three of us together."
"But you do seem to spend a lot more time here," Chopper added, pointing around the dining room. "And locking the door, not letting anyone in."
"Yeah, what could you be doing here all by yourself?" Zoro asked. "You can't be cooking all the time…"
It took all Sanji's willpower to not kick the idiot in the face. He looked him in the eye. "Maybe I should tell them, then."
Zoro snorted, but the smirk slowly slipped off his face.
Chopper, Usopp and Brook looked from the one to the other. "Zoro-san," Brook began. "Do you know something we don't?"
The green haired swordsman looked Sanji in the eye. "I don't think now's the right time… they're already feeling depressed," he said, ignoring his three confused friends. "I'm not sure they could handle the news."
"What?!" Chopper looked terrified. "Sanji, are you ill? Is it bad? Zoro, tell me!"
"I'm not ill! Shitty Marimo, don't make it sound like something terrible." Sanji put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. He looked at the three at the other side of the table who still seemed to expect an explanation. He exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Look, guys, I'm fine. It's nothing to worry about. But I think Zoro might have a point and you don't want to know right now."
"Well, if we don't have to worry, you might just as well tell us, right?" Usopp asked.
"Right, Sanji-san, you can tell us anything," Brook added. Chopper still looked worried at the cook.
"No, you don't want to know," Sanji made clear. "I'm not telling you. Yet." He walked back to the kitchen counter again.
Zoro also stood up, seeing this as the cue to end the conversation. Still, he couldn't help to still want to hint at their secret. "I'm glad we agree on that, Cook," he said and as he walked past the blonde, he moved his hand to the other man's butt and squeezed it slightly. He was fully aware that this was in sight of the other three nakama in the room, but walked on as if nothing happened.
"What the fuck, you shitty Moss-Head?! That was way too obvious!" Sanji turned around and showed his bright red face to the others. He kicked the green haired man hard enough to throw him against the kitchen door. "Now we might just as well –" He made sure the swordsman couldn't move away when he kissed him on the lips.
God, he loved those lips. They were definitely the nicest lips he had ever had the pleasure of kissing. And the way they kissed back! They could continue this for hours. Sanji felt his partner's tongue beg for entrance and was about to grand him that, when he suddenly remembered their friends in the room.
Sanji ended the intimate contact immediately and turned around to face them again. Usopp's jaw had gone slack, apparently not able to say anything intelligent. Brook seemed to be just as surprised, though it was hard to read from his skeleton's face. "Sanij-san…" he started, but was interrupted by a happy looking Chopper.
"Are you in love?!" the little reindeer squealed.
Sanji and Zoro looked at each other, faces slowly turning to display a look of disgust by the thought of loving the other. "Yeah, guess so," they said in union, after which they waited for the reaction of their nakama.
"That's wonderful!" Chopper sprang up happily.
Suddenly Usopp seemed to snap out of his daze and started laughing. "Well, that explains a lot! That's why you didn't seemed to care Nami and Robin were in a relationship." He sighed relieved.
"I'm so glad nothing's wrong with you, Sanji!" the little doctor smiled. But then he seemed to remember something. "But then why did you lock yourself in here, all the time."
A smirk broke through on Zoro's face. "You think he's been here alone all those times?"
A few quiet moments passed before Brook opened his mouth again. "Sanji-san, Zoro-san, you haven't been doing naughty things in here, have you?"
A few more silent seconds passed until Usopp jumped from the couch he'd been sitting on. "Gross! What the hell have you been doing here?! Wait!" He held up his hand while closing his eyes. "I don't wanna know. I just hope you cleaned up afterwards."
A blush colored both their cheeks and Sanji cleared his throat. "So… you're not getting depressed or feel bad because there is yet another couple on board?"
Usopp shrugged. "Well, we're just glad you're ok. And you," he turned and pointed at the green haired man. "Could have said something before!"
Zoro snorted. "This was way more fun."
"Right… Well, if you'll excuse us," the long nosed man pushed the couple aside to clear the path to the door. "We'll just go back to do things only members of the Awesome Single Club are allowed to do." He opened the door and walked out, followed by a curious Chopper.
"Am I part of the Awesome Single Club too?"
"Of course you are! Brook is too!"
"Yohohohooo~! It's so good to be single~" the skeleton sung as he bowed his head to exit the kitchen. "Though I would still like to see some girl's panties." The door fell shut behind them.
Just a short story, I hope you enjoyed. Please leave a review if you like. :)
(Also, I know the title sucks, but couldn't come up with anything good, so I looked at the lyrics of a random song and chose my title from it XD - song is Royals by Lorde)