This is a series of drabbles for all those crack lovers who thought Death Note needed to… well… Lighten up :D (note: I'm not good with humor, so tell me if I go to far to try to get a laugh from you all.)

And note: I do not own Death Note, though I wouldn't mind owning L… :D

Chapter one: Cake?

(set during the time the two are chained together.)

L looked at Light from where he was sitting with his cake. As he stared intently, seemingly thinking about the Kira case, his actual thoughts were something along this line: Does Light ever eat sweets?

L looked away as Light glanced at him. Of course, this is a thought almost everyone has in their own fanfictions about the two: Doesn't he ever get sick, eating so many sweets? Doesn't he ever eat anything relatively healthy? Light was getting sick watching the detective devour pastry after pastry, candy after candy.

The two returned to their computer screens. The chain binding them jingled softly as their wrists moved from keyboard to plate, or from keyboard to mouth, in Light's case, as he got sick.

The detective, noticing the occasional green in Light's face, decided to help… or at least, try. "Does Light-kun want some cake?" He offered up a slice of coconut cake, with chocolate drizzled all over it and a strawberry on top.

The teen glanced at the junk and began to look pale. "Excuse me," he said, rushing off to the bathroom. Unfortunately, he did not make it in time due to the skinny man attached to him. L was a perfect anchor to prevent Light's running too fast. The poor detective tumbled headfirst onto the floor as Light began running, while the teen tripped, and, not able to hold it in anymore, threw up. (eww xD)

The investigative crew came in from buying more food (and sweets for L), Watari included. When they entered the room, all they saw was a knocked-out L, a sick-looking Light, and puke spattered all over the floor in front of them.

Chapter two: Valentine's Day for Mello and Near (note: NOT a coupling)

(random drabble about Mello and Near, when they were young. Really young. Mello is about 7, Near 4. Tell me if I have their age differences wrong )

Mello contentedly chewed on his chocolate. He couldn't wait for the rest of his beloved chocolate to come. After all, it was Valentine's Day, the day where people practically lined up in front of other people to give them chocolate!

Of course, the day would be perfect if he actually KNEW people who would line up and give him chocolate. All the time he had spent here in Quillish Wammy's house had been to defeat Near. And now, Near was the one getting all the chocolate. Oh, that made Mello mad. Real mad. (Now for the extreme stupidity that would never, ever happen!)

Mello began to get really bulky. He began to turn a dark brown (for chocolate?) as he grew. His shirt and gaudy accessories ripped off as his muscles outgrew them. It would be safe to say his muscles outgrew his intelligence at this point, too. When he stopped growing, he was more muscled than even the world's strongest man. He stood, his head crashing through the next level. There were a couple of girls giggling over boxes of chocolate.

"Mello want chocolate!!" he bellowed. He reached through the level (thus destroying the bed and the expensive wood) and grabbed the chocolate. Less angered, he ate the chocolate happily. He stuck his head back down as the girls squealed for Wammy.

Near watched Mello rise out of the building. "Chocolate!!" the monster cried. The other children in his playpen outside screamed, demanding to be let out. Near, however, stayed calm and watched the situation. Then, using a rattle and some string, lifted himself by making a lever out of the string, the rattle, and a nearby tree branch. He let himself down and (clumsily) walked over to a store of chocolate he had gotten earlier that day. The little boy scooped up all the chocolate he could hold and stumbled over to the foot of Mello.

Unceremoniously, he dumped the chocolate next to the foot and began to pound on it. When there was no reply, Near sunk his teeth into the giant foot. Mello looked down, noticing an itch, but instead found Near, offering up his Valentine's Day chocolate.

Greedily, the boy-monster grabbed the chocolate, eating it as fast as he could chew. By the time he had finished all of the chocolate, Mello was a regular sized boy again, filled to the brim with chocolate.

Wammy and L ran towards the both of them, back from a shopping spree of sweets. L surveyed the damage as Watari asked what happened.

"Mello want chocolate," Near stated simply.