A/N: I do not own Superman, Smallville or anything else of great value.
For this one-shot pretend that instead of Jonathan dying in Reckoning in place of Lana, Lois did. (Hope I didn't spoil anyone with that)
Like A Whisper
Life is so fleeting and like a whisper she was gone. That's how it always felt to Clark. So loud in life, but Lois' death was so quiet. At least to him, for as much as it pained him, he did not regret losing Lois for Lana. Though for ten years he lived with the guilt and found that it wasn't weakening with time.
He liked to think of these little anniversary trips to her grave as a penance of sorts. Every time he looked at her name carved into the gravestone, he struggled not to break down and sob. Clark knew the high price of being a hero, not all could be saved. Though losing Lois always stung the most. The hurt was deep and the ache worse than anyone else. Chloe, Alicia, everyone else lost was a sad and sorrowful weight but in time the sharp pain in the heart grew bearable. But not with Lois.
Clark bent his knees and reverently placed the rose before the stone. He imagined Lois' response, arms crossed and eyebrow raised. "A single red rose? How cliché Smallville."
He smiled at his imaginings. Then sighed when reality returned.
Lois was gone.
Lois was gone, and he missed her far more than he thought he should.
Clark knew he had no reason to complain. He was considered by most to be the world's greatest superhero. He was a successful journalist with a Pulitzer to boot. He married the love of his life.
Lana. His beautiful wife. They were the beautiful, perfect couple they were always meant to be, but between Lana's flair for the melodramatic and Clark's brooding the angst of their relationship never left. It was exhausting Clark.
Furthermore, there was no one to speak with about any problems with Lana. Jimmy was too much of an idealist to give any real help. His parents provided comfort, but never any real solutions. Pete never knew what to say. Bruce, who put Clark's brooding to shame, would only accuse him of wasting his precious time. Diana. Clark wanted to sigh again. Diana would only make matters worse when it came to problems with his wife. Oliver's solution would probably involve drinking and beautiful women. If Chloe was still alive she would only give some cliché advice about love conquering all.
Only Lois knew how to look him in the eye and call him on all his crap. Only Lois put everything into perspective. Only Lois could make him smile and pull him out of whatever pity spiral he would spin himself into. It took her death for him to realize there really was no way to replace the somehow vital role she played in his life. When Jor'el warned that a high price must still be payed for Lana, Clark didn't initially understand how Lois fit that description.
Now he understood only too well.
Clark began to trace the cold lettering. He wondered how Lois would have handled knowing his secret. He pictured everything from anger to awe. He imagined further how she would have handled being his wife. How she would take the death threats, the near misses, and the sudden disappearances. Would she by so annoyed that she would coldly ignore him when he returned, no matter how much he was needed? No matter how much he needed a warm touch? Would have they ever argued about her place in his life?
Would have the word divorce have ever entered their vocabulary?
Clark closed his eyes and his curled his fist. He should stop. Why on earth was he picturing marriage to a dead woman? Especially to a woman who only mocked him in life. He must be some kind of a masochist.
He decided it was time to leave, but he could not completely dismiss the feeling of longing. So he leaned forward and press his lips lightly to cold tombstone and whispered, "I miss you."