Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I get no profit from this story.
The text is occasionally rambling because it represents Naruto's mind and thoughts, so the few longer-than-strictly-necessary sentences are intentional.
Warning: Brief allusions to torture
Heroes aren't real (but you are)
Naruto doesn't remember how old he was when he got kidnapped for the first time. He only remembers pain and fear and more pain, and then darkness and red. When he comes to, the kidnappers are lying dead on the ground and he's in the middle of the mess, shaking and feeling exhausted. Yet he drags himself out and makes it back to the orphanage.
He doesn't remember how old he was back then, but he remembers the disappointed look when the caretakers saw him.
Naruto thinks he'd prefer them not having noticed him gone over them not wanting him back.
oooooooooo
The next time he gets kidnapped it's only been a few months since the last and they want revenge for the ones Naruto killed before. He has no idea what they're talking about though because he doesn't remember killing anyone and he's just a little kid and they're adults and no matter how awesome he is he couldn't have killed multiple grownups without getting injured himself.
Yet these kidnappers tell him that he has to pay for what he did. Cue pain and fear and more pain, until eventually darkness takes hold and the only thing Naruto remembers is a roar and waking up surrounded by bodies again.
Naruto thinks someone might be helping him in secret.
oooooooooo
He doesn't get kidnapped during his time at the orphanage again. Maybe people learnt from others' mistakes, or maybe they're just too scared of his secret guardian.
Naruto rethinks that latter thought when he's kidnapped on the first week of living alone.
This time there isn't as much pain as before, mainly just feeling scared and being starved – not that that's anything new as he hasn't gotten much to eat, like, ever. This time, he stays captive for multiple days at least.
He's sure it's longer than the previous times.
Eventually though, the kidnappers stab him in the stomach and the pain takes over and Naruto falls into darkness. When he wakes up, he's surrounded by the dead again.
He makes his way home from there and doesn't say anything to Hokage-jiji.
Naruto's guardian is enough to protect him.
oooooooooo
The next few times are similar to the two earliest. Pain, fear, and more pain, darkness and red and coming to in the middle of corpses.
They never take more than a couple of days and Naruto doesn't feel too bad over no one missing him because Hokage-jiji is busy and no one else sees him regularly anyway.
The knowledge that his protector is helping him is enough for Naruto.
oooooooooo
When he starts at the Academy, things change. Not because he doesn't get kidnapped anymore (he does, even more than before) or because people are suddenly noticing him missing or feeling relieved when he comes back (he's just as alone as always).
What changes is Naruto's own perspective of it.
The first time he misses school because of a kidnapping he gets a lecture from Hokage-jiji, and though Naruto wants to correct him and tell him it wasn't his fault, he's much too shocked to correct the old man's assumption.
Naruto didn't know being assumed to do something could hurt that much.
Yet it hurts even more when the following times he's kidnapped aren't acknowledged in any way other than a disapproving frown from his current teacher.
They only care that he's missing school. None of them bother to ask him why he was gone. None of them worry over him.
What hurts the most, though, is the disappointed gleam in the teachers' eyes when they see that he's back again.
It reminds Naruto of the orphanage.
oooooooooo
Being kidnapped is routine to Naruto. He'd feel upset that Hokage-jiji hasn't noticed, but well, it's not like the old man can know everything.
Plus, Naruto is pretty sure that some of his kidnappers are ninja.
Iruka-sensei does notice, though. Well, he notices that Naruto disappears every once in a while. He's also the only one to look disappointedly at Naruto not because he came back, but because he was gone in the first place.
Naruto doesn't tell him that he keeps getting kidnapped and that it's not his fault he misses school. He's a big boy now, he's supposed to be able to take care of himself.
And besides, the kidnappings are okay because of the appearance of Naruto's mysterious protector each time.
oooooooooo
And then Naruto steals a forbidden scroll and hears the truth about the Kyuubi.
oooooooooo
Being a jinchuuriki and having the Kyuubi inside him doesn't bother him that much. Iruka-sensei still likes him and cares about him and so does Hokage-jiji, so Naruto knowing about it now doesn't change anything.
Well, except the fact that he now knows why he keeps getting kidnapped.
Yet… He asks Hokage-jiji about the Kyuubi, and whether it could get out or not. The old man says that it could if Naruto is feeling upset so he'd have to try to control himself.
And then he asks Hokage-jiji if he's assigned someone to watch over Naruto. When the answer is no, he asks if the old man knows of someone doing so anyway.
This time the answer is more complicated; how there are people looking out for him, but they are busy too so it's not like they're spying on him every hour of the day.
Naruto asks if any of them have said anything about him. The Hokage answers with a simple no.
Now, despite what many may think, Naruto wasn't stupid. He was perfectly capable of connecting the dots, if only someone bothered to draw the dots for him.
Thus, Naruto is twelve when he stops believing in heroes.
Because the only one to ever have rescued him is a demon sealed inside him. And Naruto can't for the life of him call it a hero, no matter how many times it has helped him.
oooooooooo
He pretends everything is fine that day, acting like his cheerful self. But when he goes back to his apartment he breaks down and cries.
No one will ever come for him when he is taken. No one cares enough to notice or help.
No one has ever helped him escape.
No one ever will.
Thus, Naruto is also twelve when he stops trusting in his fellow ninja.
oooooooooo
Naruto doesn't like his team but he makes due. Sasuke is irritating with all his brooding and arrogance and superiority- and inferiority-complexes. Sakura is irritating with her constant fawning over the Uchiha, but Naruto likes her anyway because she's smart and someone hitting him on the head is familiar.
Only his subconscious realizes it's familiar because of what he went through during the kidnappings, so Naruto is perfectly unaware of this and continues to adore the girl.
Kakashi is irritating because of everything he does. He's constantly late, reads porn in full view of kids, ignores said kids in favour of said porn, and basically just neglects them completely.
Naruto is pretty sure he learnt more in his first years at the Academy and that's saying something.
oooooooooo
Their first C-rank turns quickly into an A-rank but Naruto doesn't care overly much.
When the demon brothers first come at them, he freezes because he flashbacks to a kidnapping and he was always still then because struggling made it hurt more and it's not like he remembers ever fighting back because the Kyuubi took care of that.
So yeah, he freezes, and Sasuke saves him, and he might have been just a little thankful if the Uchiha didn't belittle him for it.
Naruto doesn't stress even when Zabuza shows up. Sure, he had a flashback before but that was the only reason he was scared then; Naruto is quite aware of the fact that he's really hard to kill. So no, Zabuza doesn't scare him because the 'Demon of the Mist' doesn't trigger him.
oooooooooo
'Heroes don't exist, huh?' Yeah, tell him something he didn't know. 'We're all just gonna die anyway?' Not very likely.
Naruto would have more compassion for Inari if the kid wasn't so annoying. He tries to get the kid to realize that his father was heroic, though, because everyone deserves to believe in their parents.
Never mind that Naruto never knew who his were.
oooooooooo
Haku kills Sasuke and Naruto loses control of the Kyuubi. Nothing new there except for the fact that when he wakes up, he hasn't killed anyone yet.
It doesn't matter that much, though, since Haku just gets himself killed by Kakashi anyway and then Zabuza dies too yet Sasuke is alive and Naruto isn't sure whether to count that as a win or not.
oooooooooo
It's not long after they're back to doing pointless D-ranks that Naruto gets kidnapped again. This time it's three people, one of whom is a ninja – that doesn't make Naruto feel any better about it, though. He's a ninja himself now and should be able to protect himself better.
Yet he didn't exactly expect an attack in his apartment building, and he's pretty sure the ninja kidnapper is at least a chuunin.
And anyway, the ninja is freakishly quiet and hits him on the head with a pipe. How was he supposed to protect himself against a threat he couldn't sense? That's how he knows the guy is a ninja, too; he can hear civilians move these days, no matter how quiet they try to be.
So he suffers through some pain and fear and before the 'more pain' can come, he's performing kage bunshin no jutsu and breaking free.
He feels immensely proud of himself for getting out of the situation without the Kyuubi.
Yet, he isn't quite sure what to do with the kidnappers. None have been alive before after he 'woke up', so he hasn't had to deal with them.
In the end, he sends some of his clones to take them to Hokage-jiji.
(Later, he's asked to visit the Hokage who is worried over him and Naruto reassures the old man that he's just fine.
He doesn't mention that it's not the first time he has been kidnapped because while he doesn't understand why Hokage-jiji is so upset, he has no desire to make him even more so.)
oooooooooo
When he finally finds his clothes and gets out of the kidnapper's hideout, it's over midday. Naruto curses when he realizes that he's late for the team meeting and rushes there. His wounds have healed already anyway.
He gets a chewing out from both Sakura and Kakashi – hypocrite much? – and a glare from Sasuke.
Naruto tries not to feel too hurt when they don't even ask why he was late.
oooooooooo
The next time he's kidnapped, there are more ninja among the perpetrators.
Naruto is kept for days.
Eventually though, before the Kyuubi manages to take hold, Naruto tricks his captors and fights and performs jutsu and manages to escape.
He's even more proud of himself this time for getting out on his own.
Again, he sends his clones to the Hokage with the kidnappers and finds his clothes before finding his team. It's a slower process than before, though, as he is more heavily wounded and some of the fractures are taking a while to heal.
oooooooooo
When he finally finds his teammates, they glare at him.
"Where the hell were you?" Sasuke bites out. Naruto would like to think it's because the Uchiha was worried over him, but it's more likely that the other boy is annoyed over the inconvenience that Naruto's disappearance proved to be.
"Is that blood?" Kakashi asks almost at the same time, and since his one eye is looking at Naruto's head, the jinchuuriki gingerly touches the spot he can still feel throbbing. Luckily, the wound is gone, but apparently there's still some caked blood there.
"Yeah, it's hours old though," Naruto answers brightly. "And sorry, I was kidnapped."
Silence meets his words. They're all staring, and Naruto swifts uncomfortably. He doesn't understand what the big deal is.
"Kidnapped? You do know that doesn't mean a kid taking a nap, right?" Sakura asks then, and Naruto is suddenly less fond of her. He knows perfectly well what he's been through, thank you very much.
"Yes. It means being taken against your will, being held captive, that sort of thing," Naruto says, yet now he's frowning. His expression is mirrored on the faces of his teammates though he doesn't understand why.
Sasuke and Sakura glance at Kakashi, apparently hoping that the Copy Ninja would for once in his life act responsibly and take charge. Naruto looks at their leader then, too, because they've been wasting time there just standing and he wants to get back to training.
"Can we go now? I've neglected my training," he whines though his stomach feels empty because he hasn't gotten to eat in days. But he can grab a protein bar or something on the way to the training grounds. Speaking of, why were the three of them just walking around Konoha anyway?
"We're on a D-rank mission right now," Kakashi says with an eye-smile, and suddenly everything is back to normal.
Naruto never realizes that his teammates don't believe he was kidnapped.
oooooooooo
The next time he is kidnapped it's by enemy ninja.
Naruto is actually appreciative of this change. It means that they're not doing it because of a personal vendetta, and thus have less reason to hurt him.
Not that it stops them, anyway, but he's happy nothing gets broken this time.
He escapes after a couple of days and makes his way back to the camp he and his teammates were staying at. They were on a C-rank mission again, yet somehow it had turned to involve missing nin and Naruto is starting to wonder if this'll happen on every mission they take.
This time he seals the bodies into a scroll that he finds somewhere – it's ever so helpfully listed as 'to store live bodies in', so Naruto knows what to pick from the enemy's storage.
He leaves everything else because he can lead others back there later.
oooooooooo
He runs into Kakashi on his way to the camp. He stops to say 'hi', but suddenly he's being thrown over the Copy Ninja's shoulder and carried like a sack of potatoes.
They're making their way towards the camp though so he figures he's not being kidnapped again.
"Are you okay?" Kakashi asks as soon as he's set Naruto on the ground in the camp, and Sasuke and Sakura rush to their side.
"Yeah, of course. The bodies of the ninjas," Naruto answers with a shrug as he throws the scroll holding the bodies to the ground.
He's being stared at again, and like the last time, he doesn't know why, and he shifts nervously.
"Did they hurt you?" Sakura questions anxiously and Naruto is momentarily surprised that the girl is worried over him. Then he casts the thought aside as too bitter and stares at his teammates oddly because why are they acting like this?
"Uh, less than usually? Really, I'm fine," he dismisses with a grin yet the others' concern doesn't seem to lessen any. Even Sasuke is looking him over like he's checking him for injuries.
When the staring doesn't stop, he attempts to take a step away from the three. They take a step forwards and look at him imploringly.
"Naruto, you should tell us if you've been hurt. It's not a weakness," Kakashi rebuts, and Naruto is pretty sure there's some kind of an error in the communication here.
"Seriously, I'm fine. I heal fast, and they weren't nearly as bad as some of the others," Naruto smiles and tries to discreetly inch away from his teammates.
Their behaviour is so out of the norm it's starting to freak him out a bit.
"What others?" Sasuke demands then. Naruto blinks at him and tilts his head, wondering if the Uchiha's intelligence has failed him; yet both Sakura and Kakashi are looking at Naruto like they're expecting an answer as well.
"Uh, some other kidnappers?" Naruto answers hesitantly, though it comes out more like a question.
There's silence and more staring and Naruto isn't above using his clones as a distraction to get away from these freaky people.
"How many times have you been kidnapped?" Kakashi finally asks. Naruto isn't quite sure what that has to do with anything or why the Copy Ninja even wants to know.
"I… I don't know," he offers after a moment of thinking. "Probably somewhere around ten? No more than fifteen, though."
Sakura makes a choking noise and Sasuke is honest to god staring at him wide-eyed and Kakashi… Kakashi has his fists clenched and eye closed and he looks ready to hit something.
"It's no big deal, really," Naruto rushes to reassure them.
Strangely, it doesn't seem to work.
"You've been kidnapped ten times and you say it's no big deal?" Sasuke demands incredulously. When Naruto only nods, the Uchiha laughs a little hysterically and while that's the first time in a very long time Naruto's heard the other boy laugh he's not sure he wants to hear the sound again. Not if it sounds so broken and wrong.
"Naruto, kidnapping is a Bad Thing," Kakashi explains when he's managed to unclench his hands and open his eye.
"I know that," Naruto snaps. "But it's normal and I know how to deal with it."
That doesn't seem to reassure his teammates either.
What do they want from him?
"Naruto," Kakashi bites out and he sounds like he's very close to hitting something. "Kidnappings are not normal."
The jinchuuriki stares at him then, because what right does the Copy Ninja have to determine what is normal and what isn't?
"They are for me," Naruto finally shrugs as an answer and finally, finally they let him turn away and go get something to eat.
He never notices Sakura and Sasuke exchanging helpless glances or Kakashi storming off to go break down in peace.
oooooooooo
Naruto manages to avoid being kidnapped for a couple of weeks, and when it finally happens again, he manages to escape in a few hours.
He has to suffer through Hokage-jiji's worrying and questioning like the previous times the old man knows about – and the long hugging session when they got back from the C-rank Naruto got kidnapped on; the boy still isn't sure what that was about.
He doesn't tell his teammates.
Though he's pretty sure Hokage-jiji tells at least Kakashi if the way the Copy Ninja keeps looking at him is any indication.
oooooooooo
The time after that he was captive for a couple of days, and before he manages to find a way to escape, someone bursts into the room he's being held in and kills the captors.
The gravity-defying silver hair is kind of a huge clue to the rescuer's identity.
Naruto is taken to the hospital for a check-up, but since he heals quickly, they let him go. He visits Hokage-jiji and gets hugged again before Kakashi whisks him off.
oooooooooo
He's not quite sure, but he thinks that Sasuke and Sakura are attempting to crush his lungs by squeezing him too hard.
There's no way that they could be hugging him, after all.
Yet when he's finally let go of and he can breathe again, there are tears in Sakura's eyes and relief in Sasuke's.
Huh. Maybe it had been a hug.
Kakashi tells the other two that Naruto is fine and they go back to training. Even the jinchuuriki can't miss the way the others are hovering over him, however.
Though it does take him an embarrassingly long time to realize that it's because they were worried.
His chest feels warm at that thought.
oooooooooo
The next time he's kidnapped, they don't manage to hold him for an hour before a vengeful silver-haired Copy Ninja is crashing through the door and kicking their asses.
Naruto can only look on in wonder.
oooooooooo
There is no next time.
Naruto's not quite sure whether it's because Kakashi is following him around and stopping all attempts or because people have heard that Kakashi's looking after him or because Kakashi's finally training them well and people are scared of Naruto's rumoured new skills.
In any case, he is sure that it's because of Kakashi.
Now, if someone were to ask Naruto what a hero is, he'd say they read porn, were always late, didn't think about whether or not they were inconveniencing other people, hid one of their eyes, had gravity-defying hair, and smelled of dogs.
Because suddenly heroes were all too real again.
A/N: Reviews are golden~