Title: Duty and Destiny

Fandom: Torchwood

Rating:G

Prompt: Shield maiden 158 from 500

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I gaining any money for this work. I'm just trying to enjoy myself.

A/N: Yes I know the connection is obvious, but I liked the quotes too damn much to not go with it.

Summary: 'Toshiko did not mind that she was left behind in the Hub.'

Duty and Destiny

"Shall I always be chosen? Shall I always be left behind when the Riders depart, to mind the house while they win renown, and find food and beds when they return?"

Toshiko did not mind that she was left behind in the Hub. She felt more useful there than out in the field, where she worried she would fail if she tripped or did not pay close enough attention to the world around her.

But that did not mean it didn't annoy her when it was just assumed that she would wait and let the others handle it. Lucky for Ianto, who had be trained after her, he never assumed, he always was ready to step back if she wanted to stretch her legs and remind the others that she was more than capable of handling a gun as easily as a keyboard.

"Too often have I heard of duty. But am I not of the House of Eorl, a shieldmaiden and not a dry-nurse? I have waited on faltering feet long enough. Since they falter no longer, it seems, may I not now spend my life as I will?"

On particularly bad days, Toshiko often wishes for her mother. Like the day she sent Tommy to his death at the hands of a firing squad. She couldn't look at Jack that day, her heart picking him for a focus of her hatred at Torchwood. Just once she would have liked to defy her duty, and take what she wanted. In that case the love of a sweet, handsome young man. Sometimes it's just a day off. But she'll never actually go against her Captain's orders, or her own sense of loyalty and duty.

"What do you fear, lady?"

"A cage. To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recalls or desire."

Jack never once uses her time in UNIT against her. Never once suggests that she be bait if it means risking her being locked up. He wouldn't make her go through that deliberately.

Even as a child Toshiko had always been afraid of being locked away. Not because she can't stand being alone, she's perfectly happy in her own company. But the idea of not being able to do anything with her mind, the idea of not being able to craft computer programs that could boggle the minds of the worlds greatest and brightest was enough to send her into a panic. Above all, she wants to prove to everyone that she is clever, that she is strong, that she is capable. It's the only way she'll be remembered, and if darkness is all there is after death as Jack claims, then she'll be sure to leave an impression, something to say she was here.

"But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Eowyn I am, Eomund's daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him."

Her stomach burns with pain as she drags herself across the floor. She has to get to her comm. and help Owen before the plant goes into meltdown. Nothing else matters. Even when Owen gets trapped and they say their final goodbyes, Toshiko feels relief at knowing they have saved countless lives.

And then Jack's there, holding her in his arms and staring into her eyes, broken and tearful as he shakes his head, pleading with her to stay. And Toshiko smiles up at him, grateful for what he gave her, loving him for seeing her, for knowing her. She feels safe, she feels proud, she feels happy as she slips away in Jack's arms, his tears warm on her cheek.

"Wish me joy, my liege-lord and healer!"

"I have wished thee joy ever since first I saw thee. It heals my heart to see thee now in bliss."

I need to stop being so damn depressing with these prompts!

Night's Darkness