Hello, Dairlings! (:
This is inspired from the spoiler from 6x05 " Monstrous Ball ".
This is so not gonna happen and I'm Dairlusional but YOLO. I haven't written in a while, but I'm glad Dair still inspires me even now that it's over.
Your reviews would really make my day/night, so... review (:
She is surprised from how easily she can spot him in a crowded room.
His hair is shorter, she notices, and he looks thiner, as if he hadn't been eating well the past few months. His posture is terrible - he has his hands in his pockets ans he's leaning against a wall, deef to all the people talking around him. She stares at him through her champagne flute and she can't help but wonder what he's thinking about - she can't say from his expression, his face is unreadable. She wondered when it was the last time he smiled.
Before she realizes, her legs are moving on their own accord in his direction and her hands are gripping her champagne flute (finished, by then) almost painfully. She stands next to him a few seconds, uncertain, but he doesn't seem to notice her presence, so she gives a little cough. He turns his head slowly towards her and his eyes show a little surprise before his face becomes unreadable again.
" Hey " she says, he voice small. She nervously pull on her dress and waits for an answer. They hadn't had a proper conversation since... since she left him.
" What do you want, Blair? " he asks, and he looks tired.
" I just wanted to ask you how you've been "
He looks right into her eyes as he says " I've had better periods "
" Well, you're going to get published again, right? " she tries " That's good news "
He gives her a small smile which was probably supposed to look compliant, but that comes out tired, just like the tone of his voice " Maybe it's a good news for me. But not for you or your friends of the Upper East Side "
" Let me guess, it's the book that will tell the world the world how spoiled and bratty the kids from the UES are "
He gives a bitter laugh that doesn't lit up his features " Spoiled and bratty are not exactly the words I would use, but yeah, let's say so "
" Good, no, great! I mean, for you " she rambles " I'm - I'm glad if you're happy "
" What about you? " he asks suddenly, almost against his will " Are you happy? "
No. That's the first thought that crosses her mind, but she repress it quickly. She's with Chuck. Sure, they're not technically together, but that doesn't matter as long as they love each other.
She is supposed to be happy, to be filled with peace since everything is going the way it's supposed to. Except she's not.
" Yes " she answers instead, after a little hesitation. If he notices, he decides not to comment.
He gives her that small smile again, his eyes full of sadness " Good. Because... well, because even after what happened between us, you know the only thing I want for you is to be happy "
She hates him then.
She hates the fact he's so damn nice to her after what she'd done. She hates those sad eyes and that sad smile. She hates his posture and his damn hands in his pockets. She hates his stupid hair and the fact he smells so stupidly good. She hates the fact that his shirt is not ironed and he's not wearing a tie, because it's so damn him. She hates the fact that she lost him. That she can't have him.
Chuck's arrival interrupts her thoughts. She can see Dan flinch a little when Chuck gives her a peck on the lip.
" Humphrey " says Chuck with a smile of victory.
" Chuck "
" Blair, I've been looking for you all night. There are some people I would like you to meet " he tells her with a perfunctory smile.
" Sure " she manages " Goodbye, then " she adds, turning to Dan. He just gives her a little nod before turning around and never looking back.
oOoOoOoOoOoOo
Blair is floating.
Or at least, that's what she tells herself. She should be floating.
Chuck had just given her his ring, his Harry Winston. He had just asked her to marry him as soon as he could get his company back. She had just said yes. She ignores the fact he asked her in an empty room at a Cotillon party and that the ring is not exactly her size and that it wasn't even remotely close to the proposal scene she had in her mind and she just focuses on being happy.
She's engaged. She's engaged to the man she loves. To the man she's always loved and she always will. She is supposed to be happy, radiating, even, and at peace with the world for the fact that everything in her life is finially going the way it's supposed to. Except she's not. She constantly feels as if there's something wrong, something missing.
She can't wear the ring on her finger -no one is supposed to know they are together - so she has it on her necklace. She absent mindedly walks to the bar and she is surpised to see there's just few people left in the room.
Everybody else is probably talking about business in the empty rooms behind the ballroom, just like Chuck is doing at the moment. She sits on a stool ans wonders what to order when a voice speak for her.
" Two japanese whiskeys " Dan tells the barman with the hint of a smile " I remember how much you liked it " he adds, sitting next to her. The barman provides immediatly.
She glances at his hands holding the glass and vividly remembers how they felt pressed against her skin. She shakes her head and drinks a sip, the alcohol spreading a warmth into her she hasn't felt in a while.
" Why are you here? " she asks.
" Why am I here with the woman who broke my heart? Because I'm probably a masochist " he answers, sipping his whiskey and Blair has to look away or the impulse to touch him - hold his hand, hug him or run her hand through his hair - will overwhelm her.
" Nice ring " he adds, and she realize she's been absent mindedly torturing Chuck's ring on her neck since she left the empty room.
" Thanks " she replies, looking at it. It is a beautiful ring. It spakles and it seems like it's catching all the light in the room. But it feels as heavy as a rock " It's a Harry Winston "
The small smile again " Funny, I've always thought you'd want something from Tiffany "
God, if she hates him.
She looks away from his inquisitor eyes - she knows that if she looks at him in the eyes he'll understand she's not happy, at all, that it's all an act, that she misses him, oh God, how much she misses him. She takes a look around and notices the ballroom is almost empty, except for a few couple still dancing.
" Would - would you like to dance? " she ask, even if she knows it's a stupid question, and that he would say no.
" Okay " he answers, surprisingly.
The walk to the dance floor without looking at each other, awkwardly. Blair's last rational thought is that her heart is beating so loudly that she is sure everybody can hear it over then music. Then he pulls her close and she doesn't think anymore.
His arms are around her waist and hers are around his neck. Her head fits just right in the crook of his neck and it feels like their bodies are almost like missing puzzle pieces-locking together in an absolute perfect fit. She feels warm and safe and loved and she doesn't want this moment to end.
In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
She desperatly wants to talk, she wants to tell him something, anything. She wants to tell him that her mother gave her her company and she has no idea of what to do. She wants to tell him that Chuck is never home, and when he is, they never talk. She wants to tell him she wakes up from nightmeres every single night since she left him and that she cryes ans cryes ans cryes. She wants to tell him that she still hasn't forgiven Serena, even if she pretends she has. She wants to tell him that she can't read a book or watch a movie or go to a museum without thinking of him. She wants to tell him she misses him. She wants to tell him she loves him.
" Do you remember " she says instead " that night we danced Moon River at the loft? "
She doesn't know why she mentions it, why the memory of that night suddenly crosses her mind. It was a totally different occasion from now, and they were tipsy and laughing and kissing while dancing, not holding on to each other as if their lives depended on it.
" I remember everything, Blair " he whispers in her ear and she desperatly wants to kiss him.
She holds onto him tighter and asks " What else do you remember? "
" I remember that time you broke your heel while we were walking and I had to carry you home. I remember that time I cought you smelling on my flannel shirt and teased you for two weeks. I remember that time you tried to cook breakfast and almost burned out the kitchen. I -
" I did not! " she protests, a small smile on her face.
" Did too " he says, and she can tell from his tone he is smiling too " I remember that time you brought your Cabbage Patch over and put it on the shelf next to Cedric. I remember every line of Breakfast at Tiffany, because of all the times you made me watch it. I remember that time I thought I could be the Paul to your Holly... " he keeps silent for a second, then he goes on " I remember that time we made love on the floor of the loft "
" Only one time? " she can't help but add, still smiling a bit.
She hears him chuckle for a second, then he turns serious " I remember when you said your heart belonged to me "
All this money can't buy me a time machine
Can't replace you with a million rings
I should've told you what you meant to me
'Cause now I pay the price
She holds him tigheter and doesn't say anything as the song ends. She knows this is the end, and she hates it, she hates him, she hates herself for what happened. Slowly, they move apart and they are standing in front of each other, without words, leaving everything unsaid.
She's the first one to turn around and walk away, leaving him in the middle of the ballroom.
" It still does " she whispers.
In another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
Did I already say review?
Please. For Dair's sake.
(: