Note: The story can also be found under the pen-name Medivha on AO3 which allows for images (and I will typically post the occasional fanart that inspired the story): /works/1890990/chapters/4075071

Another note: You will find references to canon, reincarnation, and potentially controversial themes involving gender identity (this is, after all, a gender-bending story).

Warnings! Rated M for mature: descriptions of fighting/violence, some foul language, nudity, and sexual themes.

Chapter One

Transformation

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Sun. Glorious sun.

Sinking into his room like a soothing perfume, awakening his senses.

"Yo Naruto, you awake yet? I can't find the soap?" yelled a familiar voice through the thick haze of morning dreams. "I guess you're still sleeping…"

He wiggled his toes and tossed frustratingly under the covers.

"Just look harder," he scarcely murmured over the spell of slumber.

"...so I'm going to shower first then."

Unusual as it is, he felt every inch of his body, and how hot did the bed feel underneath him, he almost gasped. However, with eyes still shut Naruto flopped onto his stomach, assuming his most preferred sleeping position. At least get in another hour of sleep. Please, he begged his burning body.

That's when he felt it. The dull chest pain which catapulted his mind to full consciousness—the pain! Suffocating pain. Quickly, he veered off the bed, falling to the floor in fetal position.

"D-damn it," he choked, clutching at his sides.

His hips. His waist. As soon as he'd touched them, his eyes shot wide open.

No…

Only wearing his boxers, Naruto froze in horror. Blood stopped coursing in his veins, time screeched to a halt as his breaths strangled and muscles stiffened. No longer did physical pain matter. Not when two balloons protruded from his chest.

Hooters, bazongas, tatas, twangers…

Panicking, Naruto hyperventilated. "Shit...shit!" he shot up from the floor, swaying as he did so. "Shit, someone help!"

He fell backwards right into his nightstand, knocking his clock to the ground—which shattered into fragments…and no sweat, it was a cheap digital clock for less than five bucks.

Wake up¸ wake up! Naruto panted, world spinning. Nightmare, this had to be a nightmare. His legs weren't his legs, his feet weren't his feet, his hair—wasn't his short hair. But terribly long, golden locks fluttering like fronds in the wind.

Naruto pulled at this fake hair. When he realized the hair wasn't fake, he screamed. In his mind, the scream was a Viking's rallying cry on the battlefield. But when instead, he heard a woman's voice instead of his own, Naruto's throat clogged up with horror. This couldn't possibly be a prank, but a dream. Not a prank, not a dream, but a nightmare.

"Who are you?" cried out a terrified voice.

Kiba. His roommate.

Naruto's eyes widened, and reached out an arm. "K-Kiba, you gotta help me man. I feel sick. I'm hallucinating…" he croaked, still hearing that shaky high-pitched feminine voice speak for him. "I'm seeing things, hearing things, feeling things…I think I might need the ER."

Wordlessly, Kiba stared at him.

And that pissed Naruto off. "Kiba! Stop standing there, for hell's sake! I need help!"

"H-how do you know me?" stammered Kiba, whose mouth hung agape the whole time.

Naruto's mouth went dry. Not only was the world spinning, but now his own roommate made him sick. "What the hell kind of question is that "how do I know you"?! Open your damned eyes. I'm Naruto, your roommate. Stop messing around with me!"

"You're not Naruto."

"Yes! Yes, I am, you...don't be an asshole!" he shouted, but instead, a shrill girly voice bounced off the walls of their apartment. This perturbed Naruto himself, who felt a jolt of terror in his spine. "Okay, this shit's getting real. I can't. Call 9-1-1. Not myself. I think I'm dying."

At that moment, Kiba's eyes roamed downwards and locked with the perfect plump mounds he'd ever seen in his life. Pale, pink rosy buds, so aroused and pert. And the round breasts swelling up into ripe fruits—the sight of paradise itself, when looking upon the thin waist, wide hips…Kiba swallowed hard. Was this Naruto's new lay? Sister? Girlfriend? Like a spell, he stood transfixed, motionless.

Clenching his fists, Naruto bolted forward, wrenching Kiba by the collar. "What are you staring at, huh?"

"Put on a shirt, please," begged Kiba, eyes still glued to the nude female parts.

"So you're seeing what I'm seeing?"

Kiba blinked. Unsure, he mumbled, "I'm sorry I walked in on you. I heard you scream for help and didn't realize you were partially naked…"

"Who cares," snapped Naruto, confused at his roommate's humility and shame, "we see each other shirtless all the time. Why is your…nose bleeding?"

Violently, Kiba pulled away and in a frantic tone said hurriedly, "Sit down, I'll bring you some clothes."

So I'm not seeing things? Naruto rubbed his eyes, before gazing down at his own body. Breasts, curves, long slender legs…radiating blond hair to his hips…this was all real? That even his sober roommate saw?

In the next second, Kiba handed him an orange t-shirt, and similarly grapefruit colored shorts. "This is Naruto's smallest sized outfit I could find."

Naruto glared at his friend, willing for some understanding. "Yes, my clothes. Kiba, man are you even listening to me?"

When he didn't get a coherent response, he just donned his shirt and shorts. But at his midriff, the shirt felt too tight, and he quickly realized why. The breasts. Inflated as they were, pressed against the fabric.

Finally, he looked back at Kiba before saying, "You really don't recognize me?"

"You have his eyes," murmured Kiba, melting at the melodic voice of this beautiful stranger. "Are you related?"

Sighing, Naruto ignored the question. Logic or quick wit wouldn't save him now. No special words or reasoning. This absurd calamity eviscerated his heart and nausea swept him like a furious wave, he thought he'd been disemboweled—while his mind collapsed into confusion. He ran to his closet, rummaging around before slipping into a pair of white sneakers: apparently he dropped down several foot sizes. He almost spat. This was hell itself, wasn't it?

"H-hey," said Kiba, moving after the blonde. "You're leaving?"

"You're being a useless friend," growled Naruto, diving into the bathroom.

"But you said you need an ambulance!"

Voices drowned out. Looking into his reflection, Naruto barely swallowed down his tension.

Who is this?

He patted his bangs aside. Annoyingly pretty Barbie doll tresses framed his face—which seemed more cherubic than before. He lost his defined jawline, and his neck elongated into that of a graceful swan's, blending into delicate shoulders: no longer broad and manly. Of course his gaze dropped to the hard nipples peeking through his orange shirt…he couldn't blame Kiba for stumbling…

But if there's one person in this world who'd recognize him, and still treat him as Naruto, it'd be…

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"Sir, there's a visitor for you," said the secretary, concerned.

Sasuke looked up from his work, before casually saying, "That's not possible. All meetings are scheduled for next week."

At the cold dismissal, the man stood as if torn by a dilemma. "But sir, she is claiming to be your friend Naruto. And I've tried numerous times to send her away, but she won't have any of it."

"She? Then call for security," he said annoyed, reaching for the phone on his desk. "Or rather, I'll do it myself."

The secretary nodded before disappearing out the door.

After making the short call, he leaned back into his chair. Rubbing his temples, Sasuke felt unable to continue with work. For some reason, whenever his brother Itachi traveled away to the countryside on religious journeys, he always experienced turbulence here during office hours. Just last month, during Itachi's two-week absence, a flock of pigeons was seen dancing on the rooftop of their company building. And prior to that, a blind mendicant came barreling through the glass windows in the main lobby—causing such a horrific scene, police and news reporters made sure to inscribe the moment forever in tabloids.

His father trusted him with their investment firm. After all, Itachi refused to inherit the company, choosing instead a spiritual path and maintaining some of the country's most sacred shrines.. At least his full-time work here will come to an end since his first semester in college started tomorrow.

Sighing, Sasuke glanced at his calendar. Tomorrow. He already registered for his classes, and of course he hoped to escape from the strict and punitive watch from his old man.

"S-sir, I tried—"

"Let me through damn it!"

The door blasted open. Naruto whirled in like a heated ball of lightning. "Sasuke you bastard don't you dare call security on me!"

When Sasuke met the electric eyes of the blonde, he literally shot up. "Naruto?"

"Yeah, we need to talk. Alone."

The two guards and secretary quickly left the office as soon as Sasuke signaled for them to leave. He then turned to the woman who so much resembled his best friend, he wondered if Naruto was wearing a wig and fake breasts…however, not only was the disguise too perfect, but the feminine whines and sounds reminded him of anything but Naruto.

Sasuke sized up the ruffled figure with growing perplexity. "Why are you…"

"A woman?" finished Naruto, in a deadpan.

"You're embarrassing me, dressed like this—"

"Damn it Sasuke! I'm not dressed like anything. None of this is fake," he gestured at his obvious chest, and then his hair, "Either I'm still dreaming, or this is real. And by now I'm realizing it's the second. I woke up….like this…"

Dark shadows crossed the pale features. "I haven't any time for your games, idiot. And besides, don't you have an appointment with your academic advisor today? You have to register for your classes. But instead you come to annoy me with your usual pranks."

"A prank?! Think I'd joke about losing my manhood? Come on!" yelled Naruto, jumping forward, cheeks burning crimson. "I'm the one embarrassed! This isn't me and I hate every second I'm in this body!"

The high-pitched shouts definitely struck Sasuke into a spell; rooted to the spot, his dark gaze penetrated through the shrouds of confusion. Sasuke pursed his lips in deep calculation, never removing his sight off the glowing blue orbs.

And in the sudden silence, Naruto gulped. What if Sasuke didn't believe him? Then what. Then he'd choke right then and there, for his heart already fluttered like a drum. A dry funeral drum: playing the sad majestic melody of the end of his life. Because being alone at this point equaled death, and all he had was…Sasuke…his best friend…

Finally he heard Sasuke coolly remark, "You came all the way here dressed like that?"

Naruto looked down upon himself and then back up, with brows furrowed. "Huh?"

"Everyone can see your…" Sasuke trailed off, sounding rather put off. "Female attributes…"

"Seriously, that's the last damned thing I'm worried about!" Naruto cried out, panting from humiliation. "Just s-shit. Do you even believe me?" he asked with an edge of helplessness.

That's when Sasuke stepped back, sending an incredulous look. "I'm not sure what to believe…"

"That I'm Naruto, your best friend since the first grade—I drew you an action comic about ninjas back in elementary school, which you still keep in your room under your nightstand! Our number one pastime back in junior high was cutting recess and exploring the city—" Naruto heaved a breath before launching further down memory lane, "We used to be sparring partners on the high school fencing team, and our sensei was Killer Bee. He always smelled like sweat and deodorant, and I always made fun of his whack raps: and you always laughed at my impressions of our teachers. But while I went on to martial arts living my fantasy of fighting, you instead studied business. You said…you wanted to follow your father's steps—"

"Enough…Naruto," murmured Sasuke, turning away. "It is you. I can almost hear your real voice."

No words can describes the jubilation and relief which flooded him in that moment. Naruto scrambled closer, almost wobbling over from his adrenaline rush and the oversized sneakers which hardly encased his feet.

"No one else believes me except for you. I—I almost knocked Kiba out for his helpful gestures. While my own godfather didn't recognize me…and if he did, he sure as hell didn't want to admit it," he rambled on, flushing from the heat of panic, "and, and…I'm bugging out, what can I say? I don't know why this happened, and how can I turn back?"

Gently, Sasuke ushered his frantic friend onto the leather couch by the window. "There's no point in panicking, moron. Sit down and breathe."

"My life is over…" groaned Naruto, dropping into the cushioned seat as if sapped.

"Let me think for a moment."

For a tense minute, Sasuke paced around the room becoming tight and internalized. He moved fluidly across the area, resting his chin in the palm of a pale hand. During this whole time, Naruto's eyes followed his friend's form wide with expectation. Until finally, he became too nervous with the silence, and pleaded: "Can you think aloud?"

And thus, with the air of an experienced logician, Sasuke began to think out loud. "I don't know any illness that generates onset gender transformation—an overnight growth of hair, and…other characteristics. Going to a doctor would be pointless."

"Right," agreed the blond, nodding.

"Since I see your physical changes, I know this isn't an illness of your imagination. So, a psychiatrist would also be useless."

With another slow nod, Naruto agreed.

Their eyes met, when another idea struck Sasuke. "Therefore if physical and mental domains are ruled out—I'm left to suspect a spiritual reason behind this."

A…spiritual reason? Naruto scowled at the absurd ring to it. "What'ya mean a spiritual reason? Come on, even I don't buy that."

But when Naruto thought harder on the subject: truly, nothing else could explain his sudden transformation. There's no poison in the world that causes a gender change! No disease! His DNA couldn't mutate into a different sex. And he didn't have a psychosis or delusion, and he certainly didn't have a sex operation. So if nothing on Earth could elucidate the mystery, then maybe Heaven could.

Sasuke added on to his conclusion, "Tonight my brother returns from his religious journey. When he sees you, we'll find out exactly what happened."

At that, Naruto buried face into his hands. "Itachi will see me like this…are you sure he'll even believe the situation? Are you sure he can even fix me?"

"He's inherited the family's special power and tradition," answered Sasuke, voice smooth and cold, "he can see with a sixth sense and dedicates almost all of his time maintaining our shrine and meditating. With that said, I think Itachi has seen much worse than your female form."

"B-but..."

"And if he can't fix you, or at least tell me who can, then I really do think this is a hopeless situation."

Head snapping up, Naruto looked up into the dark gaze. "No. This can't be hopeless. I need to return to my normal self because I can't imagine it any other way, I just can't!" his voice quivered, but that's because he couldn't control his new feminine larynx very well. "I'll wait right here until your brother gets back."

A long tense silence passed as Sasuke stood by him, gazing out the window with a wistful countenance. Biting his tongue, Naruto avoided further complaining at all costs, afraid to interrupt Sasuke's deep thought.

"You can't miss your appointment," muttered Sasuke lowly, still looking through the glass. "I'll drive you to campus and help you register for your classes."

"But Sasuke, no! Holy hell, no. I can't start my first year as a—as a woman!"

Without sparing the petulant blond a glance, Sasuke continued in that same hollow remote tone, "You're emphasizing on this temporary condition too much, moron. Think long-term because once this blows over, you'll at least be a student for the upcoming semester."

"Wait. Can you just—just call and reschedule the appointment for another day!"

Sasuke garroted him with a chilling stare. "You already pushed back the date two times before. That means today is the day you have to go."

Damn it, how true it was; and while he felt flabbergasted at the troubling dilemma he also felt waves of relief, and very reassured at how Sasuke intimated the details of his life. Even in this crisis, Naruto relaxed in the other's executive presence. He always admired Sasuke's confidence and sharp mind, as well as what seemed to be an infinite reservoir of knowledge—however he doubted Sasuke could understand how terrible it felt to have your life ripped out of your hands…

And so sighing with sorrow, Naruto tightened his muscles before following Sasuke out the door. Head hung in shame, he hardly managed, "I can't go like this."

"You can."

Sasuke's silky voice echoed in the stairwell, as they both descended several flights rapidly.

Speeding up after him, Naruto caught up and walked alongside him. "I mean, you said it yourself," he whispered quickly, "I'm not dressed right. I look terrible." Of course anything that didn't match his true form felt terrible so he described, "My hair is a damned nuisance, my feet are too small, and I seriously cringe every time I hear myself."

Sasuke glanced at him appraisingly. "I wouldn't say you look…terrible."

Freezing, Naruto's feet transfixed onto the marble floor. For some reason the words comforted him and as soon as he gathered his senses again, he chased after Sasuke, who at that point glided across the parking lot.

"Geez, hold the hell up," cried Naruto, scarcely able to run in these oversized sneakers. "Wait!"

Coming to a halt in front of his car, Sasuke smirked. He opened the passenger seat and in a smooth voice said, "Ladies first."

Scowling, Naruto dived into the seat but not before threatening, "You get a warning, bastard. Don't ever joke about this again…"

Sasuke simply shut the door, making his way around into the driver's seat. Smirk still intact.

As soon as the car had entered the highway, Naruto immediately noticed the peculiar route, which was not to his university but to somewhere else altogether. Confused, he demanded, "Where are we going?"

"We'll be making a quick stop before your appointment."

"Where?"

After a moment of consideration, Sasuke answered, "Sakura's."

"What!" Naruto felt himself turn into fire, and his heart wildly pounded in his ears. "We can't go to Sakura-chan's!"

Sakura-chan was a big deal. A huge driver in recent decisions. For starters, ever since their diaper days, Sakura has been their mutual friend. Except, she's a year older than both of them and currently studies as a sophomore at Keio University. The unnerving fact boils down to this: a tittering and persistent love triangle. She always had the hots for Sasuke, and Naruto faced the devastation of unrequited love early on. To this day, he loved her and he's just not a quitter, you see? He worked his ass off to get into Keio University.

Grades weren't his thing. But he kicked ass and scored a sweet martial arts scholarship.

And, Sasuke decided to join the bandwagon and apply to Keio too. Even though Sasuke assured him that there's no interest in Sakura, Naruto can't help but be suspicious sometimes.

Swerving the car off into the exit, Sasuke remained quiet but surely focused on their destination. While Naruto flailed like a patient with an aneurism. "Sasuke I refuse. I don't care what logical reason there is, I can't let her see me like this."

"So then don't let her think you're Naruto," came the cool reply.

"How?"

"It's very easy to believe you're someone else. Because you're not the same anymore. So pick a new story about your new identity," Sasuke explained in a clipped manner, as he parked the car into a tight space.

"I'm still the same person, come on Sasuke. You know that, right? She's going to know it too. And I can't face her reaction when she sees it, so please, whatever the reason we're here…can't we find another way…"

"I understand completely. But right now, there's no other way."

With that, Sasuke removed himself out of the vehicle, and without waiting for Naruto's accompaniment, waltzed up to the porch of a humble home.

Grumbling, Naruto twisted out as well and slammed the door shut. Right away, he smelled the fresh trees, dewy fresh cut grass, and he almost felt happy to be alive. Even the sun shone down with such modest heat, he smiled feeling his skin glow. Until he remembered the disaster which struck him, and now, all this beautiful nature can go to hell; for he might as well be in a junkyard smelling fish, and his mood couldn't sour any more than it has now.

In the meantime, Sasuke had been waiting by the front door under the shade. When a familiar pink-haired woman appeared before him, he greeted her with a, "Sakura, nice to see you."

"Sasuke-kun, you drive fast," she blanched, terrified as if she'd seen a ghost. "I got your message on my e-mail, but I didn't think you'd be here so quickly. I didn't even get a chance to prepare!"

Schooling an impassive expression, he stepped forward. "I apologize for contacting you so last minute."

Sakura fluttered her eyelashes through anxious reflexes. "No, it's so pleasant to hear from you at all that I really wouldn't have minded even if it was midnight or something," she admitted. "Would you like to come inside?"

"I'm with a friend of a friend," explained Sasuke, pointing back to Naruto, who had apparently been stationed stubbornly by the car. "If it wouldn't burden you, may she join us?"

Slightly bewildered, Sakura looked past her handsome idol, training her gaze onto the blonde lady in orange. "Why is she standing so far away?" asked Sakura, "and no…I don't mind if she came in."

When he turned to look back at Naruto, he narrowed his dark eyes threateningly. To which of course, Naruto wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms in defiance.

Vexation rose up his throat like bile, but Sasuke held such a reaction in check. Looking back at Sakura, he said, "She's very shy. Did you know you've been her role model for several years now?"

"Oh…my goodness, wow!" Sakura gasped, genuinely intrigued. "Well, I'll just fetch her myself since you can't properly introduce us."

Watching with veiled amusement, Sasuke tilted his head up, as Sakura scurried over to the blond. Before anyone knew it Naruto was dragged into the house by Sakura's persistent, strong grip. She led them through the foyer and had them remove their shoes by the coatrack.

"I'll make some tea, so please get comfortable," she chirped, beckoning them into the cozy living room.

Left alone for a moment, Naruto angrily whirled onto Sasuke. "You knew damn well I didn't want to come in here. She…she's going to recognize me right away, and I'll…choke…"

"Admit it. She didn't recognize you at all, and she will never see through that new body of yours."

The words rammed him like a heavy boulder. He dropped into the sofa. "She'll see through, just watch…and it'll be your fault." His voice cracked at the last part. "She'll know it's me. And I might as well join the circus in my underwear, 'cause I'm never going to be any more damned humiliated than this."

Clattering of plates sounded from the nearby kitchen.

Holding his breath, Naruto scarcely swallowed down the shame threatening to overtake him. He heard Sasuke tell him, "She doesn't recognize you. Do not push any buttons. Don't even try. Let me make up a story for you, and play along. Understood?"

Naruto ground his teeth. "Don't even know why we're here. Better have a good reason, you bastard."

Click. Tap. Clatter. Tap.

Sakura entered the scene, balancing a tray of her finest tea set. The ceramics sounded at each bounce of her stride, while she masterfully cut across the living room. Once she set everything upon a cozy wooden table, she turned to Sasuke delightfully.

"I prepared green tea with jasmine," and then focusing on Naruto, she raised a brow, "are you alright, you seem pale."

"I-I'm fine," said Naruto, avoiding eye contact.

With incredible speed, she darted over to his side. Palpating his forehead, she mentioned, "You're awfully clammy, dear. Are you sure you're fine? I can bring some medicine out for you."

Surprised at her kindness, Naruto fidgeted. "I'm fine. But thanks Sakura-chan—I mean—I mean Sakura—or—Haruno-san."

At that point, Sasuke intervened by handing Naruto a cup of steaming green tea. Gladly, he snatched the drink out of his friend's hands, and made himself occupied. Awkward, awkward, awkward…

"Did you read my message completely, Sakura?"

"Oh, yes. I did," she answered. "I can't believe I haven't met Naruto's dearest cousin from the States."

Naruto almost spat out the tea in his mouth. What….

"I'm confused why Naruto isn't here himself to introduce me…that idiot!"

"He's got his appointment for class scheduling today," said Sasuke coolly.

"I see." She nodded slowly, sitting beside the nervous blonde. With a smile, she inquired lightly, "What's your name, sweetheart?"

Sweetheart? How come she'd never called him that before?

"Naru—" he automatically uttered before petrifying wholly, mouth agape.

Even Sasuke's chilling gaze stunned him to silence, staring at him with penetrating force. Time stopped.

"So then don't let her think you're Naruto…"

How?

"…pick a new story about your new identity…"

"Naruko," he finished…lamely.

"Naruko, it's so nice meeting you. You must be so exhausted. No wonder you're clammy, you need rest…" Sakura clapped her hands together and shook her head in sorrow, "I am so sorry about your loss."

"My loss?" he echoed.

"Yes, Sasuke told me that during your flight transfer, they lost your luggage. That's literally been my nightmare when I travel," Sakura rambled, "So you're definitely welcome to borrow some of my clothes."

Oh hell. Naruto bit his lip before sucking in a shaky breath. "I…uh…appreciate that…?"

"Come upstairs with me, I'll show you what I have. And you can pick whichever you like!"

He didn't really have a choice. As soon as he indicated reluctance, Sakura practically man-handled him up to her room, vibrating with excitement: the giddy energy, from whence he knew not. Though her eyes beamed and she repeatedly said he shouldn't be shy around her, as she'd love to help. But the moment they entered her private sleeping quarters, his mouth went dry.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked, nearly stammering.

Ignoring the question, Sakura gestured to her grand closet hidden behind a moving wall-mirror. "What's your shoe size?"

"I think six…?"

"Oh wonderful, we both have small feet! And bra size?"

Bra size? He almost gasped. "I…I'm not sure."

"What? How can you not know?"

Great going, moron: he almost could imagine Sasuke say. "Never wore one before," he explained, thinking it might be a sound answer.

Sakura stared at him. After a moment he heard her say under her breath, "Hm, must be an American thing."

Several minutes of suggestions and recommendations passed, Sakura tossing everything she believed would fit Naruto on the bed. Strapless bras, leopard printed bras, long dresses, frilly skirts, classy chic blouses, and even pantyhose.

This couldn't be happening. He didn't want to even look twice at all these clothes—not when it was for him. He'd much rather see the garments modeled on a girl, rather; and oh how Sasuke must be so smug right now, entertained at the very idea of his boiling humiliation. "Sakura-chan," he whispered, "that's enough, really. I don't want so much."

"Nonsense, a girl can't have too many clothes."

But I'm not a girl, his mind screamed. "I don't even think I'll wear any of this…" he said honestly. "I'll just wear—"

"Naruko-san!" snapped Sakura, voice stern, "You'd rather wear Naruto's basketball shorts and baggy t-shirts? I'm offended, you must really think I have poor taste!"

Naruto buried his reddening face into his hands. "I didn't mean that. At all. I'm sorry."

"It's alright," dismissed she, striding out of the room, "I'll be downstairs with Sasuke-kun. Just try on the clothes I picked out for you. So put whatever you end up liking in that bag by the bed. Okay?"

"Okay."

Click. Sakura left the room.

He let out an explosive sigh. Walking over to the clothes pile, he gave it a glance over before telling the pretty dresses and skirts, "I refuse to try you on."

So, with that said, he shoved them all in the bag. So when Sakura came back in, she'd see how he thought of her taste in clothes—not leaving a single garment behind, hoping she'd interpret that as how much he "adored" her style. As for the pertinent attire, shoes, he first surveyed for the most comfortable looking pair, and upon finding flat sandals with a glittering blue floral accessory, he cried eureka, and slid his bare feet into them. Tapping his newly clad foot in nervous contemplation, he let his eyes roam around for a while.

Next vital piece must be the bra, he assessed with impatience. As soon as he took a bra into his hands, he stared at it confused. How do you put it on? Clasp it first and then pull it over your head? And which clasp? There's three. As if the questions bogged his mind, he sat down on the bed, mulling over the details.

"I'll just—I'll clasp it on the third, not a big deal."

Twisting his t-shirt off first, he then began the arduous task of donning an already clasped bra. "D-damn it! I'll try it on the first. Might be easier."

He attempted another shot, with painstaking effort, and his blond hair kept getting caught—but he managed to put it on. Only to feel the dull, uncomfortable pain of the peculiar tightness he felt. It'll disappear, he figured.

And thus, in orange basketball shorts, t-shirt, and sandals that actually fit him, he hoisted the bag of clothes out of the room. When he entered the living room once again, he met with Sasuke's bored gaze.

"Naruko-san you didn't even try anything on, did you?" Sakura accused, appearing very disappointed. "Sasuke-kun would you mind waiting for a little bit, I'll go upstairs with her, and get her out of that shell."

Sasuke looked at his watch to emphasize his point. "Ten more minutes. I have somewhere to be."

"That'll be plenty of time!"

Dragged back up to the closet of hell, Naruto nearly cursed under his breath. And to Sasuke's chagrin, they didn't come down in ten minutes, nor in fifteen, but a painstaking twenty. He sighed.

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The whole time he glared at Sasuke. This torture, this level of discomfort. All Sasuke's damned idea!

"That was unnecessary, jerk," he ground out, unable to suppress the anger anymore. "She had me literally try on almost her whole wardrobe."

To which, Sasuke ignored, and instead rather plainly said, "She was more helpful than I imagined her to be."

"This isn't going to work," he seethed, stomping across campus. "They're not going to register me, because I'm not Naruto anymore!"

"They won't care about your gender, you're still Naruto Uzumaki, legally."

"No. Legally, Naruto Uzumaki is a boy."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes before coming to an abrupt halt. "What's the deepest voice you can make?"

Stopping suddenly, Naruto blinked. "Ahem!" he coughed, concentrating on dropping several octaves, "My name is Naruto and I like ramen...is this deep enough?"

"Hardly…" A pause. "But if your advisor is stupid, he'll believe it."

"Really? So I'll just hide my hair, and wear another shirt on top."

"Another shirt, moron won't hide—"

But Naruto already dove into the school store. A shop selling university merchandise and gear. Everyone present in the store had their attention riveted onto the blonde woman, especially the clerk, who followed with his eyes the whole time.

When he came to check out a navy blue cap and a bright yellow loose shirt, Naruto nervously foraged his pockets. He hadn't brought any money with him.

"Thirty three," said the clerk, sizing up the beauty before him. "But if you want, I can…"

In that moment, Sasuke reached forward with the exact amount of cash. Naturally, Naruto thanked him for the gesture, but he quickly saw the poorly masked anger flashing underneath the pale skin. Was Sasuke mad at him for impulsively buying clothes?

"She's yours?" asked the clerk slyly, but with an air of sharp contempt.

"A friend."

"Right," came the sarcastic dismissal. "Next."

They left the store thereafter. Naruto busied his hands with fitting all his hair into and underneath the cap. "Hey Sasuke, tell me, do I look convincing?"

Still annoyed from the store clerk, Sasuke only grunted in response.

"Hey," persisted the blond, fitting over the yellow shirt as well, "Come on, tell me! I look much better right?"

"You look the same," snapped the other, dark eyes thinning. "Nothing you wear will change anything."

"But you said I have a shot at getting my advisor to believe it, right?"

"Yes," he bit out. "But I doubt your advisor is a blind nitwit."

Glowing with hope, Naruto grinned. "Hey, you never know and that's good enough for me." He adjusted the hat one more time before adding, "You're right, Sasuke. This will blow over soon, so if I just pass this first trial, things will only get better."

Sasuke pretended indifference.

When they strode into the west building, Naruto began blathering, "Yeah tomorrow I'll be good as new. I remember you telling me Itachi's a legend in the sect. I'm not even worried anymore, because I know he'll have a fix for me. "

"What floor is the office on?" asked Sasuke, once again ignoring Naruto's repetitive divulgences.

"Eh, it's on the tenth I think. Hell, just wait here. I'll go up myself."

With that, Naruto dashed ahead and left his good friend behind in the magnificent halls of the main foyer. His adventure reached a point which requires solo effort, and a deep concentration overtook his whole being. Incognito. Mission: registration. Meeting astray glances of passerby, students, and various persons, Naruto tilted his cap further down, creating a shadow over his eyes. He darted up some several escalators in this fashion, hoping to attract no attention. And boy did it work.

Room seven. Dr. Hatake Kakashi: academic advisor and professor of cognitive psychology.

He knocked forcefully on the white door.

"Come in," he heard.

With pent up anxiety, he swung himself inside the office. "Hi," he greeted, while keeping his head down. This became his number one fear, and he felt so paranoid down to the very hairs on his skin.

"Naruto Uzumaki, correct?" came the lazy voice of the advisor.

"Yep, that's me!"

"Have a seat."

Naruto carefully moved for the chair, and slowly dropped into the seat vis-à-vis the professor. He noticed immediately that the man seemed preoccupied with reading a graphic novel of some sort on the plain desk separating them. Quirking an eyebrow, he squinted to see what the images on this novel were; and with the effort of his eyes, he captured….

Dr. Hatake snapped the book shut, and riveted his gaze onto Naruto. "Well, you came a little early. That's rather alright because I've been looking forward in meeting with you."

"Ah," he hummed automatically, as usual whenever you had nothing else to add.

"You stand out to me, Naruto. Your tuition is covered completely by a couple prestigious scholarships," The advisor elegantly moved up to adjust his glasses, and continued in a perfectly intrigued tone, "for your talents and record skill in the martial arts. Several dojos invested in your education…"

Naruto held back the itch to rub his head and hair. "Ah I was always interested from childhood and so I had a lot of practice. That's all."

"Hm," replied Kakashi, carefully eyeing Naruto's chest.

Freezing up, Naruto gulped when he perceived the focused stare. Until Kakashi finally said, "Isn't it pretty hot outside to be wearing so many layers of clothing?"

"I caught a cold, so no," he answered automatically.

"Hm. That could explain your peculiar voice."

Anxiety skyrocketed when he heard pen scratching over paper. He felt the hand of a ghost touch the back of his neck at the eerie sound. Seriously, just what was the advisor jotting down? Naruto felt his eyes almost bulge out of their sockets from the amount of intense strain he'd been experiencing.

"So, Naruto," hazarded Kakashi, eyes slanting up in some amusement, "Do you have any idea what you will be majoring in, or are you undecided for now?"

"I was thinkin' about studying art, just something easy while I train up for tournaments."

"Nothing's easy here," was the smooth reply. "But since you're undecided, we will focus on your pre-requisites for now."

Nodding in compliance he inquired, "Okay so what do you suggest I take?"

"I suggest you begin with the very basic. Expository writing, a basic science class, a general exposure requirement, and a class which we call an elective. In your case, I'd say either art history or film for your general requirement, while for science, go for introduction to psychology."

Naruto couldn't keep up with the lingo; man this advisor had no idea! "Uh-ah, yeah," he mumbled, lowering his head in bewilderment. "Yeah I agree."

Kakashi raised a brow, and with folded hands, leaned forward. "You agree with what?"

"What you said," he said instantly, turning rubicund. Did Dr. Hatake have to squeeze for confirmations constantly?

"Very well. I'll input this into the database. One moment."

All of a sudden, the printer roared to life and Naruto nearly jumped out of his seat. His startled response won an entertained glance from Kakashi who began saying, "You seem to be on edge."

"Me? On edge?" Naruto pointed back his thumb questioningly. "Far from it, sensei."

That's when he felt Kakashi's bespectacled gaze trail along his effeminate fingers, and then trace over his delicate tanned arms. Bristling, Naruto hugged his elbows and bought them to his chest. I should have worn a turtle neck! As if the scrutiny weren't enough and more had to be seen to make some conclusion, Kakashi let his eyes roam downwards and in that moment, he felt his bare legs being ogled at. I should have worn sweatpants! He clamped his womanly legs shut, pressing thighs together: for no man at the age of eighteen could have perfectly smooth, curvy extremities—and for a boy in the martial arts no less, Naruto hardly exhibited any muscle tone.

Oh how he wished he wore sweatpants and a turtle neck! How he wished for his advisor to be a blind nitwit like Sasuke described!

And now all is lost, for Kakashi Hatake definitely figured him out now if not before. What with his soft chin, cherubic face, poorly hidden plump chest, slender arms, supple thighs, and thin calves—there's no way—no way a doctor of Psychology would think he was anything but a female. It's all ove—

"If you say so," murmured the teacher, handing the printed paper over. "Get some rest, and I wish you have a speedy recovery."

As though a lightning bolt struck before him, Naruto froze completely in awe. He barely managed to utter, "Thank you."

And so, raising a nerve wrought hand for the paper, he was about to peel it off the desk when the grip on the paper tightened. Kakashi wasn't letting go so easily. Naruto shot up a confused stare. However at once he saw the twinkle gleaming in his teacher's expression, and when he heard the words following soon after, he blanched.

"And the next time we meet, I'd love to hear more about your story." Kakashi pulled back, a smirk passing imperceptibly.

Quickly, Naruto stumbled out of the office, paper in hand, but heart in his throat. Did his advisor know? Now more than ever he prayed for Itachi's medicine.