House and his Psychiatrist

Author's note: As you know, lately, House M.D. became controversial among millions of fans. The episode "Bombshells" was the last straw for a lot of unhappy fans that were already dissatisfied with the way the show was written on this season 7, especially regarding House & Cuddy's relationship and the way it didn't provide a supposedly good enough exploration of House's numerous issues. While other many fans are happy with these last turns of event (House & Cuddy breakup & House relapsing), a lot of fans voiced their dissatisfaction loudly. Interestingly, this was not a "Huddy" thing. A lot of non-shippers were also saddened and unhappy with this whole season and this last twist.

On Barbara Barnett's blog, there was and still are a lot of different comments made about the show's turn of event. They are all very well articulated and interesting: lots of different points of view, lots of different theories, speculations and wishes for a great debate.

As a non-shipper who is still interested in the show, I was fascinated by these passionate reactions. I find that all these people have good points. Now, I could have written another article on the controversy regarding the last two episodes or about the H/C relationship. I decided not to because that doesn't interest me. I believe that a season makes sense only when it is finished. However, I am interested in this debate and in all those arguments. That is why I decided to do this crazy thing: a fictional analysis.

This is a new form of analyzing the show "House". Instead of just repeating the arguments and theories that I read to put them in an article, I decided to use my ability (& talent I hope) to write screenplay to actually put those arguments in an analytical form. Since I'm a fan of the show In Treatment what else could I have done but make House speak to a shrink?

I read about how people were saddened that House's issues weren't explored while in the relationship and how he seemed to have just regressed instead of evolving and confronting his problems once and for all. Some fans even expressed the wish to see House in therapy again.

Some fans were also wondering what was the point of the show if indeed "people don't change" and if it means that House is just doomed to be miserable and was supposed to remain that way from the start. There was also a debate about Shore saying House was back to square one. Did House change? Will TPTB really forget all the steps that House took successfully in his journey? Is there a nuance between changing and evolving?

Some fans speculated that this relapse will/should have a repercussion on House's job. Considering what happened last time can Cuddy really let House work at the hospital and treat patients while he is back on Vicodin? Would the Board have something to say about this and about Cuddy's involvement in all of this?

I didn't judge any theories or arguments here; instead, I just thought that maybe I could place most of them in a script form so we can imagine what could happen to those arguments in a fictional world. This is not to be taken as a fanfiction. For the record, I don't read fanfictions, let alone write them. I guess you can take it as such since it is purely fictional but it wasn't my goal while writing it. I highly doubt that fanfics are written in screenplay format.

I wrote three sessions so far and plan to do one or two more perhaps even one with both House & Cuddy. I hope to have not written House too out of character. Also note that after what happened with Nolan and this relapse I doubt that House would be willing to take a chance on therapy again. So here I made the Board threatening his job if he keeps taking Vicodin.

The arguments and theories placed in here are not really mine. I just took them as I understood them and adapted them for the script. I have to thank Barbara Barnett, Ruthinor, SeraG, DebbieJ, Delia_Beatrice, Commited, HouseMDfan, bigHousefan, FatOLady, Eileen and EVERYONE at Barbara's blog (they are so many I can't name them all and I'm sorry). And also all the fans on Twitter.

A/N 2: Okay now this season is over but still a lot of people are unhappy. I must admit to have been disappointed myself in this season that I consider less interesting than the previous ones and less well balanced. Now that the season ended in the way we all know, my fictional analysis is so far off the wall that I didn't know what to do with it. I was told that it then could be taken as a fanfiction so I could try to post it here. I wrote the Five sessions. One is with House & Cuddy.

I owe a huge thanks to Anotherdavis on twitter for this.

Hope you'll enjoy this!

House in therapy

First Session

Interior. Psychiatrist office. Day

House is sitting on a couch at a psychiatrist. He is silent. His face is inscrutable. Everything in his demeanor screams: "I don't want to be here". The psychiatrist is sitting on an armchair opposite House. He looks comfortable and relaxed. It is obvious by their act that they have faced each other for at least a few minutes now.

Psy: Since you have no intention to participate in any discussion, may I ask you why you came?

House: You know why I came. You've read the file. You've seen Wilson.

Psy: Yes. I'm aware of your personal situation and your current problems at work. And I know coming here was sort of a favor asked by Dr Wilson. My question is: since you obviously don't want to be here, why accept and do this favor to him?

House doesn't answer. The psychiatrist remains calm and seems to accept the silence pretty easily.

Psy: Dr Wilson must be a good friend for you to do that particularly unpleasant task.

House: He's my best friend but he's wrong. Look, no offense but this will do nothing for me.

Psy: Why do you think that?

House: I don't think, I know. Been there, done that. As you already know.

Psy: You think that your drug relapse negates your previous therapy entirely?

House: DUH! (somewhat scornfully) Therapy is crap. It doesn't work. You can't help me. Nolan couldn't and I don't see how you could be any different.

Psy: You mean he failed.

House looks up. He is a bit taken aback and curious.

Psy: When you said that it didn't work and that Dr Nolan couldn't help you. The way you said it, it suggested to me that you feel that he failed to help you. Is this why you appear to be bitter? You think he failed you?

House: Don't try to 'shrink me'. You're all faith healers to me. That's what I meant.

Psy: So, it is just that you had faith at some point and you feel it misled you. Dr Nolan made you believe in something positive for you and perhaps you think he deceived you. Do you feel cheated? Is that what you mean?

House: (as if talking to a child) No, I mean that I know that you think you can help me but you can't.

Psy: I have no idea if I can help you or not. How can YOU be so sure?

House: Because I can. Trust me, I know. (With disdain – "the heal" – and as of it is something he heard a lot lately) You can't heal me.

Psy: That's an interesting way to say this.

House: No, it's not.

Psy: Have you ever considered that psychiatrists don't really want to heal their patients but try to make them want to heal? That perhaps my goal here is to make you heal yourself?

House: (can't believe his ears) Oh come on! That's BS, we both know that.

Psy: Why? Don't you want to heal? Don't you want to get better? Or maybe you already planning for failure and you want to make it my fault. Just like with Doctor Nolan, it would be my personal failure. Think about it. Is there any chance that this so-called failure was also your own? Don't you think that if you feel that the therapy didn't work, it may be because you didn't really believe it would?

House: That doesn't make any sense. A minute ago you said I believed!

Psy: No I never was that positive. I asked if you believed and subsequently felt let down. The only thing I know for sure is that you are the one who quit therapy. It was your choice to leave not Dr Nolan's.

House: Yeah because it wasn't working.

Psy: According to you. Now that you relapsed in your old habits, isn't there really a part of you that wonders what would have happened if you didn't quit therapy?

House: No there isn't. I didn't relapse immediately after leaving therapy. I was even happy after that. So I really don't think it's related.

Psy: Okay. Maybe it's not related. Why do you blame Dr Nolan then?

House: (angry) I don't blame him! I'm just saying, it didn't work. It's not a criticism it's a fact. It didn't change anything. It didn't change me. People don't change.

Silence. That last statement makes the psychiatrist think.

Psy: Are you familiar with the idea that a concept can be really accepted only if we can consider that its opposite also exists?

House: You mean like no love without hate?

Psy: Yes something like that.

House: Sure yes. (House is interested despite himself) Why?

Psy: Okay, so based on this principle, one might say that if you're so insistent that it didn't work and that it can't no matter what, it means that a part you acknowledges that it can actually work. (beat) What do you mean by "people don't change". Define change.

House: I mean we can't change who we are. We can try but we can't really change our nature.

Psy: Okay. I kind of agree with that. Do you think we can evolve?

House: Sure, yeah, whatever. It doesn't change anything. We can't change who we really are.

Psy: One might say that evolution is a sort of change. Don't you think we can evolve enough to change our lives a bit? Or at least that we can make it move from a place – sometimes a very dark place – to another perhaps more comfortable one? Don't you believe that we don't necessarily have to change our deep inner nature to change our lives?

House: This is just shrink crap. It has nothing to do with reality.

Psy: Really? As a doctor who apparently saw a lot of things, I would have thought you would be keener to acknowledge this nuance.

House: Yeah well… (Reluctantly) Maybe. But, you can see all the nuances you want it doesn't change the fact that I am right.

Psy: I never said you were wrong. I brought up this nuance because I thought it was appropriate regarding our discussion. (beat) When you said: "People don't change", it sounded like a "Universal Truth". It seemed to me that you said it as an irrefutable fact.

House: It is.

Psy: According to you. I guess a lot of people might disagree with you on that statement.

House: Yes cause they're morons.

Psy: Are they morons or do they put a different meaning on the word "change"? Perhaps it is just you thinking that everyone who disagrees with you on this is a moron. It's a much simpler explanation. They are just morons and you are just an arrogant jerk. That would be so simple that you clearly wouldn't need therapy.

House doesn't answer. He becomes sullen.

Psy: What interests me here is that you are smart enough to know that our beliefs and certainties are deeply personal and formed by our life experiences. Yet, here you are, insulting people who disagree with you on those matters. What make your personal beliefs and certainties, universal and irrefutable truths? What make your own life experiences more important, truer and more valuable than the other ones?

House: (on the defensive) I never said that. Don't put words into my mouth. I didn't coin that phrase. I'm a better observant of the human nature than most people and my observations made me agree with that phrase, that's all. You agreed too. You said earlier that you agreed. We don't change even despite any evolution.

Psy: Yes, but that wasn't what I wanted to point out.

The psychiatrist readjusts himself on his armchair.

Psy: Your life experiences are not better or worse than the others. They are not more valuable either even when what you've learned from them is totally the contrary of what others learned. Just as this, you can't state a fact or a truth without considering the opposite might be also true. It's exactly like the "It can't work" from earlier. For every person that believes that people don't change, there probably is a person who can say with absolute certainty: "people can change". Not everybody is a hopeless cynic Dr House.

House: (can't believe his ears) You really are throwing a Yin/Yang argument at me?

The psychiatrist just shrugs. Silence.

Psy: Tell me about your friend.

House: Wilson? I don't want to talk about him.

Psy: Do you think he is particularly cynical? Is he as cynical as you?

House: No.

Psy: Then why are you friends with him? Surely you don't think he's a moron, otherwise you wouldn't be friends. (beat) Or maybe it's more complicated than you being just an arrogant jerk.

House: (angry) I said I didn't want to talk about it! Look I'm just here because of a favor for him. Okay? Not that I had any choice anyway, I'm on probation as you damn well know! You've read the file. You know about the relapse and the decision of the Board to fire me. So can you just prescribe me anti-depressants and put an end to this? After all, we established you're gonna be useless. So give me the prescription already!

Psy: So you can go to your friend Wilson and to the members of the Board and tell them that you were in fact here and try to get away with it? Do you really think that you will get away with it? I don't think so. This is just you quitting all over again. I won't give you that prescription. It doesn't work that way. But our time is up. You can go. I'll see you next week.

House: You can write whatever you want in your evaluation. I won't come back.

Psy: Oh yes you will. And not just because of the Board or Wilson.

House and the psychiatrist look at each other eyes.

Psy: You want to prove me wrong.

The psychiatrist starts to write some notes on a pad. House is still looking at him. Then, House turns and leaves silently.