SEE YOU AGAIN
"This can't be… this definitely can't be" Bonnie was marching up and down her room. Caroline is mistaking it. Yeah it's true that she cares or Damon, she obviously does. They have come a long way past their differences and arguments and somehow along the way they have started to care for each other. And right now when he is left there all alone and vulnerable, Bonnie could not but care more for him. He was her best buddy for crying out loud! Right? Right! Then what could possibly Caroline see in it that… that she came to such a conclusion? What made Caroline think that what Bonnie feels for Damon is not something platonic anymore? It's…it's 'love'?! What if…what if Caroline is right?
"Holy shit!" Bonnie bumped into the couch.
She didn't want to go down that road of heart wreck and betrayal anymore. It would be some unforgivable sin if she again trades her heart for nothing…even after being cheated over some ghost! For God's sake she hasn't gone total crazy yet, has she? And this time, she knows she will gain nothing from this. Her feelings will never be returned, and she shouldn't even expect that. She is better than this. Bonnie knows Damon by all his blood and bones, and also knows that, that said person had been totally whipped by a certain face for 185 years, and last time she checked, he was perfectly fine with that. So it's worse than daydreaming to expect it some other way. Plus Bonnie Sheila Bennett knows it better than to claim what belongs to Elena Gilbert…
Life sucks…literally…
It would be lying if Bonnie said that she never thought anything illicit about him. There had always been a 'what if' in the corner of her heart that never got to get at surface, first of all due to his unputdownable arrogance that Bonnie loathed to her guts, and secondly …well the most powerful witch of Mystic Falls-where nothing bad ever happens(sarcasm noted please!), is tired of being the second choice…
Bonnie sighed heavily…
Yeah yeah most of the people will look at her with narrowed eyes for this statement. Hell, she can even feel the walls of her dorm room frowning at her. Because the latest record says that, Damon Salvatore has chosen his best friend over his love, a love he had been chasing for God knows how long…Damon Salvatore has made Bonnie his first choice…over Elena! Really? Really!
Then why is Bonnie feeling so restless about this whole fact? And mostly, why is she even thinking of these in the first place? Care says a lot of things all the time. That doesn't mean she will have to pour her brain out!
But the slight pang in her heart can't be ignored anymore, a pang that tells Bonnie that despite of trying hard she has fallen victim that treacherous feeling that drives you insane but doesn't guarantee cure. And who is she talking about in this matter? Damon! Oh my god!
And then again, when had she been able to ignore him? Surely she had her fair share of popping up his brain blood vessels and setting him on fire, but does that mean the number of times she has saved his pathetic ass, does not count? What do those say? She could not just let it be when fire broke out during that Jonathon Gilbert device thing and was going to gulp Damon down; she could not but brought it down to help Stefan get that ass hole out…why?Well, because…because Stefan was determined to save his brother and Bonnie, being a good friend and a responsible witch, could not see him die too! Really? Yeah, whatever...
Then what about that time when the douche bag was being tortured to death by some bigger douche bags, formally called 'The Originals'? Bonnie didn't really owe him that much, hell she didn't owe him even a little bit to call Elena and inform about his location and condition! But she did it anyways, why pray? Okay…uh…may be because she was enough disturbed already and didn't want to hear Elena whine about losing Damon? What? Isn't the reason convincing enough?
And yes, before you even get started about the time when she stopped Kai 'psychotic' Parker from stabbing him in that 1994 prison hell, and him being in danger was enough motivation for her to get her power back, the reason can always be that she was not comfortable to the idea of being alone with a psycho in a lonely alternative world! Damon was the only face and person there that she could look up at and gather her hopes up and Bonnie Bennett was not ready to lose it. Otherwise she would be more than happy to live in a world sans Damon 'freaking' Salvatore…Right? Right!
Oh, really? Then why didn't she take the privilege of leaving him there in that prison hell? She had every chance of escaping, hell; he even offered her the chance to leave! But she didn't, rather couldn't, and surprisingly found more satisfaction in the fact that he was safe, safe in their own real world. She was content with the thought that at least he could make it out of there. Why so? Is it because she wanted to have some private party time with some psychotic Malachi Parker?
Well, um… That's not right! Uh… Actually... Uh… It was like… Um…
Suddenly Bonnie realized that she is having serious problem in reasoning herself. And the reasons she had been giving till now, all sound so hollow and fake to her. Instead of defending the fact, till now what she has done is only strengthening the more with each silly reason. Bonnie chuckled humorlessly. If she can't convince herself, how could she even think of convincing Caroline Forbes-the relationship expert? Oh, God! Is she really in love?
"You don't realize when you are falling in love; it's just like passing through a gush of wind, all a blur. But when you fall hard in that pit, you get the first wave of shock and realize the reality bonnie Bennett! You realize that you have fallen in love! And there is simply nothing you can do about it."
Isn't it what Caroline said at last, when bonnie denied again and again that she is not… err… in love with Damon? Well Bonnie is feeling the shock perfectly now, thanks to her out of control heart, she is again in that gutter! And she literally can't do anything about it. She can't make this feeling leave just like that. It doesn't happen this way. It's a feeling that consumes you each day a little more. And secondly, well, try to understand, it's Damon Salvatore we are talking about, and he is just unforgettable in a too realistic way…
The other option being leaving him is not really an option. Because, though her egoistic friend never speaks out loud that he needs her, she knows him far too better. And after he sacrificed his long awaited perfect future for longer, just to keep her alive, Bonnie Bennett can't really be that selfish, can she? Oh, who is she kidding, she can't even imagine leaving him at the first place! A light grin did spread along her lips at this thought.
"I like to imagine you are thinking of me when you smile this giddily…"
Bonnie will know this voice anywhere in the crowd. And the cockiness in the statement is utterly impossible to ignore. Bonnie smiled a little more and turned her head around at the dark figure looming at a corner of dorm room. Damon Salvatore, the all time predator. She couldn't even realize when he had come. Rolling her eyes at his cocky comment, Bonnie threw her own-
-"In your dreams Salvatore!"
-"Anytime candy!" Damon flashed a glassy smile and bumped in the couch beside her, eyes closed, arms spread. Bonnie stared at him for a few moments, taking in the look of his face. Though the eternal stud's face doesn't easily give away anything, Bonnie can read him like open book. Four months in a prison hell was enough for her to learn the skills. Ad right now she can clearly understand how vulnerable and lonely he is…she can feel it inside. And Bonnie Bennett, who has sacrificed so much for her loved ones, can't be selfish to the person who had been most selfless to her. She can't tell Damon now, about how she feels, and throw his already weak and confused mind in another loophole of confusion just to feel free or lift the weight of the truth up of her shoulders...She has done many stupid things like throwing her own life in hell, to save him, she will do it again and again and again…
Bonnie took his hand in hers and intertwined their fingers. Damon looked at their joined hands and smiled. Bonnie exhaled deeply. She will tell him, but not here, not now. When she will see him again, may be in some long away century in this eternity, when he will be more strong, confident and content about his life, when there will be no fear to see him broken, when there will be no more hope in his life, when uh…when bonnie Bennett won't have to fear for being rejected because he is still in love with some Petrova doppelganger or has not been able to have his perfect life with her yet, when Bonnie Sheila Bennett will be his first and only choice… in that life, somewhere along the eternity, Bonnie will tell him. She will tell him that he was her first choice always, that, she had fallen in love with him…and only him…she will tell him, when she sees him again…
It's been a long day
Without you my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way
From where we began
Oh! I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again…