Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT.

*smiles sheepishly* Remember me? If you do and you're not happy with me - I am soooo sorry! I haven't forgotten about all this. Life took over... hopefully I should be posting more soon. I'm really sorry I haven't.

This is my part of a Round Robin story involving M.D. Owen, ConnieNervegas, LilNinjaWolf and BubblyShell22.

Thanks to notawordsmith for the title XD

I never thought I'd end up teaching in a high school. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not bragging or anything but I'm pretty much the most intelligent person I know. Okay, so I'm bragging a little bit, but everyone I know confirms it to me daily. Plus, Raph told me that if I ever get all modest like I usually do ever again, he'd knock my brains out with a wrench, and then I'd have nothing to show for myself. I think he's jealous.

Right now I am in a major rush. I spent most of last night working on a new project I'm particularly excited about. I woke up this morning in the lair's lab with my notes stuck to my face. Splinter wasn't too happy when I came running out of there, let me tell you! He was two seconds away from giving me flips like I was still fifteen or something. I still use the lair's lab. Do you expect me to be able to afford a lab on a teacher's salary? Well if you do, then you are sadly mistaken. Leo offered to build one at his place but does his ego need feeding anymore? I'm afraid his big head might explode someday.

Okay... I have about five minutes to spare to go home and check on poor Fluorine before going to work without any completed lesson plans, as usual. I'd have to improvise again. Lessons are always more fun that way anyway. Oh, Fluorine? He's my ferret. Yes, I'm aware that he has a feminine name. Actually, he's named after the most reactive element on the periodic table, so it doesn't make sense to think of the name gender-wise.

Of course, there's always the fact that when I first got him I thought he was a girl because he was too young to tell. I like to call him Fluor these days, just because it's funny to see what people will do when I say "Don't stand on Fluor." Mikey practically had a panic attack. He thought I'd dropped some kind of flesh eating chemical or whatever it was. I let him think I really had dropped a flesh eating chemical all over my apartment floor and watched him crawl along the ceiling to get to wherever he wanted to be. Raph ruined it by walking right in.

I should have picked up that new chemical I got a few days ago. The kids would have loved that. I could have done an amazing explosion demo with that stuff. Oh well, it would have to wait for another time. A smaller demo would have to do for today.

I'd finally reached my apartment. I looked in the mirror and realized I'd taken all my clothes off at the lair and forgotten to put them back on. Seventeen years without clothes meant that my brothers and I find it difficult to remember that we can't do that anymore without risking an arrest. Leo's court cases are mainly defending his 'three wayward brothers.' I threw on a suit and grabbed the nearest tie from the floor. It was had the caffeine molecule printed all over it but it would do. I think it was a gift from Mikey last Christmas. I should really buy some new ones - it seems like 'novelty' ties are the only ones I have.

I checked Fluor hastily as I left. He was swinging by his teeth from the bars on his cage. I gave him fresh water and food, grabbed my bag and left. I checked the time on my cell – fifteen minutes. I needed to be at the school in fifteen minutes and ready for my first class? Why do I do this to myself? I'm supposed to be a genius! I sometimes wonder if I still need Leo nagging me to go to bed or to get up. He acted like my clock right up till the end of college. Sometimes he still calls to check I'm asleep. I know - there is no logic behind that at all.

I let Raph fix my car a few weeks ago and it hasn't been the same since. I need to find some free time to look over it again and check it out. I don't trust him – whenever I visit him it looks like he's mutilating the poor vehicles that go in for service there. Plus, under normal circumstances I would stay clear away from a place called 'GreaseBoys.' Sometimes I wonder if the customers are really there to have their cars fixed or for a whole other reason I don't even want to contemplate. Raph's told me some horror stories.

I drove the Battle Shell to school once when my car broke down. The kids spent the whole day asking me to let them drive it round the parking lot. I agreed since it was a few months since my last court appearance. I forgot about the big shiny button saying 'missile.' It had been 'Green' week. (I tried to make them change the name because the kids kept pestering me asking if it was my official week and what I was planning to do. I'm sort of a legend to them). So it was 'Green' week and there were a lot of science projects around on the field to combat global warming and all that. Nothing remained when the smoke cleared, not even the ground. There's a big hole there now. It tore up part of the parking lot too. To be honest I was more annoyed that I'd lost a missile than anything else.

I pulled up in my space – the principle gave me the one that had been half blown away during the missile incident. It was going to be close but I don't still train in ninjustu for nothing. The halls would be crowded with students and it'd take way too long to get to class that way. Plus, I might run into someone who wants to know where the hell I'd been all morning. The quickest route? Up the wall, through the window. I hooked my bag on my shoulder and started climbing.

"Hey, Mr Hamato!" I looked down and nodded to some of my past students.

"Morning!" They walked away, seemingly needing no explanation. I must have pulled this stunt last year multiple times. The first time I do it the class flips out and I have to explain how I can climb up a vertical wall. It's all physics really. At least it was on topic, kind of. They were supposed to have been learning about genomes. It's all science at least.

I pulled myself through the window and almost jumped out of my skin. There she was. The bane of my entire existence. You thought Shredder was bad? He had nothing on this one. I'm not a violent person but I want nothing more than for one of my experiments to go horribly wrong and take her out or something. Or at least send her to Raph. Hey, there's an idea. If her car ever breaks down... I could arrange that... simple procedure, cut a few wires...

"Good morning, Mr Hamato," she smiled pleasantly. She was sitting in the middle, front desk as usual. I hate having to look at her face. It's always right there.

"Good morning, Chelsea," I attempted a smile and took out my 'notes and lesson plans.' I keep some spare sheets of paper with random notes on there... actually I think this might be Leo's Law revision from College. Anyway, I keep random notes in my bag to appease the little brat. She's always pulling me up on 'standard teaching procedure.' I told her I'm not standard and therefore don't have to follow any of her nit-picky rules.

"What are we learning today?" She asked. I set up the projector and ignored her. She hmphed and crossed her legs. Luckily, the rest of my class were starting to arrive now. Five minutes late.

"You're late, guys," I sighed.

"Ah, we saw you this morning, you used your freaky turtle powers to climb that wall again so you'd get here before us," one of them grinned before slamming their bag down on the desk. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, I won't tell if you don't," I smiled. Chelsea scoffed. I marked everyone on time after being told that half the class were just watching a fight outside and they'd be up any minute. Regretfully, I forgot to mark the brat in.

I launched myself into the introduction of the experiment I was about to conduct... the usual. I was aware that I was rambling as I dashed around the room finding bits and pieces I would need. Nobody listens to this part anyway, well, no one but Chelsea. No doubt she was finding this particular introduction less than satisfactory.

I set it all up carefully. I haven't had an accident since the Science Lab fire of 2009. Some of the kids were so disturbed they had to take a week off. Or so they say. They've seen much worse during my dissection classes. Besides, nobody can be disturbed until they see an elderly pet German Shepherd named Sergeant Major head-butt Leo and then try to hump his shell. We think he was attempting sexual assault. It was just wrong. All wrong. Definitely put a downer on that Christmas Day.

I spoke too soon. It turns out I'd set it up just near enough to that little brat Chelsea for it to harm her slightly. Well um, yeah. I may need to make a quick phone call to my favourite big brother, Leo, at his Lawyer's office. She called her dad and he's going to sue me. Honestly, it just made her jump! And... well, and she fainted. But that's all. It should be fine. I get excited about what the headlines will say each time. I mean the first time? I thought I was out of a job forever, doomed to become a mad scientist, but so far it's been okay. I've been in far worse trouble than this. Plus, the school's overall grades on results day would decrease immensely. I'm the only teacher the kids will listen to. Something about being interesting. Again, I'm not bragging, honestly. It's merely the truth. Just facts.

Don't you fear, I'll be back in the staff room discussing the latest gossip involving the annoying and rather stinky caretaker, George in no time. The latest is that he is often seen with trails of teenage girls following him. They seem to think vampires are sexy. They think he's going to sparkle in the sun. I must admit I think I've seen him do that, although I think they're after something more magical, rather than just a lot of perspiration.

When I got home I updated my facebook status: 'After some persuading, Leo has agreed to defend me in court. It's all good.' He threatened to take me off his friends list. I don't know what he's complaining about. To my surprise the cute French teacher commented. We started talking on chat and I finally plucked up the courage to ask her out. She told me to meet her at her place. Apparently almost seriously injuring a sixteen year old girl is sexy these days. I guess that's related to this vampire trend?

Just got back from my 'date.' Wow. What a disaster. I'm feeding Fluor and skulking around. It turns out her TV was broken and she was going to miss American Idol. Yeah. I fixed it and might have accidently broken her sky box and left. I guess it's just me and Fluor tonight. Speaking of Fluor, he's chewed up some of the kid's books. I think that's urine as well on the brat's book. Oh Fluor, if only you understood English, I'd tell you 'I love you' every day. Unfortunately you don't, so I guess I'll just feed you treats instead.

I just had a phone call from Sensei. He needs something else fixed. Usually when he says that he means he can't work out how to use something but won't admit to it. I'd bet all my money on it being that he wants to record his stories so he can meditate on my actions today and where he went wrong as a father. And so my average Friday concludes itself. I'll spend the night trying to explain a recording machine to my father and possibly spend some time in the lab again. I think I left a Bunsen burner on.