Football Fever

This is it, Charlie thought as he peered out from behind the tree. There was Lucy, tossing the football up and down like she always did, whistling as she waited for him. Well, he wasn't going to disappoint here.

"I'm going to kick that ball right out of the universe!" Charlie cried as he started running.

Lucy grinned. This was her moment. She pulled the ball away, expecting Charlie to go sailing up into the air and land flat on his back. Instead, he wasn't there.

"Charlie?" Lucy looked back and saw Charlie standing with an odd look on his face. "Charlie Brown, we go through this every year, so come on over here and…" she stopped, suddenly concerned. "Charlie Brown? Are you feeling all right?"

Charlie looked at her. "I'm fine, Lucille," he said, with an odd flatness to his voice. "I am going to kick the football now." Charlie acted as if he were actually kicking a football-which Lucy was still holding in her hands.

"I think you're coming down with something," she said. "We'd better get you inside."

An Hour Later

"Make way, make way, Doctor Sally Brown coming though!" Charlie's younger sister entered the bedroom, wearing a surgical mask and latex gloves that she'd gotten from her children's nursing kit, followed by Linus. As Charlie's best friend, he had naturally been concerned when Lucy told him what had happened.

"Charlie, can you tell me your symptoms? Are you in any pain?" She rapped him on the forehead with her knuckles. "Charlie, are you even in there?"

"I'm going to kick the football," Charlie responded in a monotone. "Then I'll coach our baseball team, and then talk to Linus out at the neighborhood wall…"

"He seems to be repeating his daily routine," Linus observed. "Lucy, was there anything else about his behavior that seemed odd to you?"

Linus's sister thought for a moment. "Well, now that you mention it, he did seem kind of stiff. Almost like a robot." She looked worriedly at Charlie. In spite of all the grief she gave him, they were friends. "He's not getting sent to an insane asylum, is he?"

"Charlie?" Sally asked again. She shook her head as she turned to the others. "It seems to be a rare case of paralytisis feveritisis," she said with an air of medical authority. "There seems to be no known cause, but it doesn't appear to be fatal. I suggest we wait for the effects to wear off, and keep him comfortable until then."

"Paralytisis feveritisis?" Linus asked. "You made that up!"

"I defined his medical condition," Sally answered in an annoyed tone. "But maybe we should run some more tests on him. Where's my assistant?"

As if on cue, Snoopy entered the bedroom. He was wearing a stethoscope and a doctor's white coat. From it he took out a small hammer, with which he tapped Charlie on the head. Then he checked Charlie's pulse while listening to his own watch. Finally, he nodded in satisfaction, and drew Sally aside as he spoke in his own, odd language. Then he handed Linus a piece of paper as he left.

"What is it?" Sally asked.

"A bill for his services," Linus grumbled. "Well, what did he say?"

"Something has stalled inside of him," Sally replied. "Apparently he'll snap out of it, but he needs some stimulus. In the meantime, we just have to…to…"

"Sally?" Linus looked at her. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I have to go play outside," Sally said with a glazed look in her eyes. "Then I'll come to your house and flirt with you."

"Sally, wait!" But she was already leaving, and wouldn't stop even as he tried to grab her arm, only to be dragged out of the room with her as she walked.

Sitting on the hallway carpet, Linus saw Lucy also leaving. "Where are you going?"

"I have to go bother Schroder while he plays his piano," she replied in a flat voice. "Then I have to hold the football for Charlie Brown."

Linus stared as she left, only to be followed by Charlie himself, who said nothing as he followed them in a trance-like state.

Linus looked at Snoopy, who was scratching his head. "They're all affected," he said. "Snoopy, what are we going to do? This is contagious!"

Snoopy frowned, and then snapped his fingers. Grabbing Linus by the arm, they hurried outside, to Woodstock's nest. Snoopy rapped on the tree trunk, knocking the little bird out of the nest and into his hands. The bird was clearly annoyed, but once Snoopy explained the situation in a series of muttering growls and barks, Woodstock got the idea. Snoopy sat down on the ground, motioning for Linus to sit on his lap while Woodstock sat in front of him. Linus took a deep breath as Snoopy's ears started turning and they took off.

As they flew over the neighborhood, Linus could see how serious the situation was getting. Pigpen was in his playpen, but the cloud of dirt that always seemed to follow him seemed to be standing still. Peppermint Patty was standing motionless in front of her house. Other kids seemed to be doing things in repetition.

"We need to find Charlie," Linus said, raising his voice so that he could be heard over the clatter of Snoopy's "Propellers." "I think he's the key to this. Woodstock, can you get a lock on him?"

The bird nodded and turned Snoopy towards a familiar field. It happened to be the same one where Charlie usually tried to sneak up on Lucy while she held the football, but now he was just trotting towards her in a robotic fashion while she held the ball and then pulled it away, upon which Charlie would stop, turn around, and then start all over again.

They landed a few feet away. "You'd better stay here," he warned Snoopy and Woodstock. With his security blanket at his side, Linus carefully walked over to Charlie.

"Charlie Brown? It's me, Linus. I don't know how this happened, but you need to snap out of it. Your life is more than this, Charlie. We're all more than just doing the same thing every day."

Charlie didn't seem to be listening. "I'm going to kick that football," he said flatly.

Linus sighed. "I hate to do this, but I don't seem to have any other choice." With careful aim, he raised his blanket. Squinting at his target, Linus let the blanket fly with a resounding SNAP!

The sound echoed like a gun shot all over the neighborhood. Charlie toppled over onto the grass, and then stood up, blinking in confusion.

"Linus?" he asked. He looked at Lucy, who was now looking down at the football in similar confusion. Charlie looked back at Linus. "What's going on, Linus? What am I doing out here?"

Linus looked at him with relief. "Only being yourself, Charlie Brown." He looked out at the rest of the neighborhood, as Patty, Pigpen, and the others all seemed to come out of a daze. "We all are."

THE END