"Son of a bitch." I grumbled, kicking the shock absorber of my 1993 Harley Davidson all black cruiser. All black except for a thin silver outline of a black widow, with the red hour glass sitting in contrast against the black on her stomach. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked down the long winding road that lead into the next town, which is where I was headed. I still had about another 15 miles until I would have hit it but my bike just shut down.
My gas gage suddenly moved from full to empty within a matter of seconds and the bike sputtered to a stop on the side of the road. I growled as I walked around the bike, the tip of my thumb between my teeth as I looked over my prized possession.
I grabbed the pack of menthols from my backpack that sat on the seat of my bike and grabbed the lighter from the front pocket of my black leather jacket, lighting my smoke then throwing it to the side pocket of my backpack, along with my pack of cigarettes. I held the cigarette between my lips as I strapped my book bag to the back, tying it with an extension cable to keep it in place.
I tapped the front wheel of the bike with my toe of my boot gently, exhaling as I pulled the cigarette from between my lips. I flicked the cigarette into the road and grabbed the handle bars, kicking the kickstand back. I started pushing it forward.
I wanted to make it into town before dark. Never wanted to be stranded in the dark. And I hadn't had cell phone service for hours, no use even trying that.
I trucked on, up the winding, twisting road towards the town on the side of the mountain.
The sun had just started dipping down under the tree tops when I made it into town. The wind had picked up and it whipped my long, blonde, curly hair around my cheeks. I sighed as I pushed forward, my calves and feet were burning. The boots I had on were not make for walking and the muscles in my legs were screaming for me to stop, but I kept going.
I walked up towards a man next to a pick up truck, the tailgate down with the carcass of a muscular buck laying in the back. I smiled, stopping beside the truck.
"Nice looking buck." I complimented the mans game, nodding at him approvingly. He looked up at me, beaming with a toothy smile.
"I know. Been trackin' this big boy for almost two months. Finally got him!" He exclaimed happily.
"Congratulations!" I cheered. He smiled at me once again and then looked at my bike, the smile leaving his face.
"Break down?" He asked, looking at me as he slammed the tailgate of his truck up. I nodded and sighed loudly.
"Yep, broke down about fifteen miles down the hill." I explained, looking back down the road I had come from. The man shook his head and whistled.
"Damn girl." He chuckled. "I'd offer ya a ride up t'the garage but as ya can see I ain't got no room back there." He pointed to the bed of his pick up truck. I waved my hand and shook my head.
"Don't worry about it." I sighed, "How far is it to the garage?" I asked, looking further down the road into town. The man sat there, rubbing his chin for a moment before he nodded.
"'Bout a quarter mile up this road. Take a left on Fairmount and then it's another half mile. Someone should be there." He looked at his watch and nodded again.
"Thanks!" I exclaimed, pushing my bike forward again.
"If ya hurry ya can get there 'fore it gets to dark!" The man called out as I made my way forward. I waved back at him and then grabbed the handlebar again.
I stopped half way down the road and lit another cigarette, holding it between my lips as I pushed my bike forward, really wanting to get to the garage before it got to dark. I still needed to get a hold of my Aunt Judy-Mae, hopefully the garage had a phone I could use. Otherwise I was stranded until tomorrow morning when I could walk or hitch a ride with someone to her house.
I had spent so many summers in these mountains growing up. Every summer, the day after school let out, I was on my way up to this tiny little town to spend the summer with my cousins. Since Uncle Ray had passed, Aunt J hadn't really been the same, and she was lonely since the kids had moved down into the big city of Atlanta. I called her a couple weeks ago and asked her how she was, and she said she was fine, but she sure as hell didn't sound okay.
I decided to spend a week up here in the mountains, like old times. Aunt Judy-Mae and I. And the animals of course. She had so damn many, too. Dogs, cats, birds, horses; you name it, she had it. She told me she was having a hard time taking care of all the stable animals all on her own, so I offered to come up and help.
I pushed my bike up the drive way of the tiny car and bike garage, the neon 'OPEN' sign buzzed loudly, flickering on and off every couple seconds. Giant summer June bugs flew around the sign, and the light that hung above the door into the business part of the shop.
I pushed the kickstand down on my bike and brushed my hair out of my face as I walked towards the door into the shop. A little bell on the door jingled softly and I stepped in slowly, looking around for any sign of life.
Nobody.
I walked up to the counter and rested my elbows on the dirty, hardwood.
"Hello!" I called out in a sing-song voice, "Anyone here?" After a moment of silence, I walked towards the door that lead into the employee break room and peeked in through the little glass window.
Empty.
"Shit." I grumbled to myself, walking back towards the counter where the cash register sat. I closed my eyes and pressed the heels of my hands into my eye sockets, groaning loudly.
"Can I help you?" A deep voice asked from behind me. I spun around, tearing my hands away from my face to be met by a tall, brown-haired man wearing a dark blue mechanics jumpsuit, wiping his hands with a grease covered rag.
"You scared the shit out of me." I breathed loudly, wiping my brow with the back of my hand as I smile at him. The jumpsuit he was wearing had the name Daryl embroidered right above his left pectoral, and he was looking at me like I was a piece of meat. He sniffled quietly, wiping the pad of his thumb across his nose gently. I looked him up and down at honestly, I was unimpressed. Slim build, little meat on him. I wrinkled my nose at him as I met his eyes again.
"Sorry." He growled softly, pushing the corner of the rag into his pocket, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at me. "S'yer bike out there?" He asked, looking over his shoulder at my bike outside. I nodded and walked towards the door.
Daryl stepped aside and let me walk out the door first, following close behind me as I made my way towards the motorcycle. I knelt down next to the gas can and ran my finger along it.
"Just shut down. I filled her up with gas and then all of a sudden, my gas tank is empty and I can't even get her to turn on." I explained, shrugging my shoulders. Daryl shook his head and knelt down next to me, running his fingers along the gas tank, squinting in the darkness, trying to make out what was wrong with my bike.
"Sounds like a problem with yer 'O' ring." He explained, looking over at me as I tried to see what he was looking at. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I dunno, I couldn't tell ya much about it. I like to ride it, couldn't fix it to save my life." I smirked. Daryl chuckled softly and shook his head, standing up. I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest. "Oh!" I exclaimed, "You gotta phone I could use?" I asked, raising my eyebrow. Daryl shook his head and gave me an apologetic look.
"Been outta service since I started workin' here." He explained, gesturing towards the payphone at the far end of the garage. I groaned loudly.
"What about a personal phone?" I asked. He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest once again. I whined and ran my fingers through my hair, letting out a long, exasperated sigh.
"Try'na get somewhere?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow up. I nodded and pointed down Fairmont towards the main road that ran through the entire town.
"Trying to get to get to Basom Lane." I explained, rubbing the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger. Daryl nodded at me, pulling the rag from his pocket and began wiping his hands again. I eyed him suspiciously, while he ran the cloth back and forth over his hands. His eyes darting from my bike then to me.
"I'll give ya a ride, I'm closin' up shop fer t'night anyway." He explained, tossing the cloth over his shoulder, wiping at his nostril roughly, sniffing repeatedly over and over again. I walked behind him as he pushed my bike into the garage, looking at him with judgmental eyes.
My father had been involved with drugs all his life. Ever since I was a little kid, the sniffing is what drove me crazy the most. Sniffing. Sniffing. Trying to clean your nostril of whatever fucked up drug you just snorted. Snorting. Over and over and over again. I started to grind my teeth as Daryl sniffed his nostril clean.
"So, how long is it gonna take to fix?" I asked, the annoyance in my voice clear as he pushed the kickstand of my bike down, carefully leaning it to the side and held it until it balanced on it's own.
"I dunno what's wrong with it yet." He chuckled, looking at me over his shoulder. "If ya stop by t'morrow, I can tell ya how long it's gon' take t'fix." He explained, turning around to face me, his pupils were dilated to as big as they could get. He looked high. He was high. I wrinkled my nose again and gave him an obxious look of distaste as he lead me outside.
He didn't seem to notice, and if he did notice, he clearly didn't care. He lit a cigarette as he locked the doors to the shop. He turned the lights off and motioned me to follow him to the blue and white pick up truck parked at the end of the drive way.
"Ya said Basom Lane, right?" He asked. I nodded and opened the passenger side door. As the door swung open, a little orange prescription pill bottle fell to the ground. I bent down and grabbed it, reading the label quickly.
"Here." I tossed the bottle to Daryl, giving him a sideways glance. He caught it, bringing it in close to his chest before he realized what it was. He looked at me nervously, climbing into the truck as I buckled my seat belt. "Thought your name was Daryl." I motioned to the patch sewn into his jumpsuit. He nodded and raised an eyebrow at me. I then pointed to the pill bottle, cocking my head to the side. "That's prescribed to a Merle Dixon." I said, trying not to grind my teeth, "Ya should tell your pharmacy they fucked up your perception." I pulled a cigarette from my pack and lit it, rolling the window down.
"Maybe you should mind yer own fuckin' business." He snapped, glaring at me. I smirked and shrugged my shoulders.
"Maybe." I flicked my ash out the window as he backed out of his parking spot. "Maybe you shouldn't be takin' pills that aren't for you." I looked over at him, giving him a half hearted smile, leaning my head back on the seat.
He slammed on the breaks, causing me to slam back into my seat. I glared over at him and he narrowed his eyes on me.
"Better watch yer mouth, Sunshine, or I'ma make ya fuckin' walk." He hissed, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
I shook my head and inhaled my cigarette slowly, closing my eyes as I turned my head away from him, and looked out the window instead. Daryl slowly back out of the drive way, speeding up as he hit Fairmount. He turned right onto the main road and kept even with the speed limit.
We didn't speak the entire way to my aunts house, except for when I told him where she lived. As we pulled into Aunt J's driveway, he looked over at me.
"Sorry fer snappin' at ya." He said softly, not meeting my eyes but instead looking just above them at my forehead. I shrugged and shook my head.
"Don't expect much more." I said, opening the door to his truck and jumping out.
"Stop by the shop t'morrow. I'll give ya an estimate on yer bike." He mumbled quietly. I nodded and shut the door. I looked over my shoulder as he back out of the drive way and took off down the street, up further into the hills.
I slowly made my way up the long drive way to Aunt J's house. It was around nine thirty and all the lights in the house were on. I shook my head, a smirk creeping onto my face as I knocked on the door.
"S'open!" Her voice called out through the partially open door. I flung the screen door open and stepped inside.
"Aunt Judy-Mae!" I exclaimed excitedly, making my way into the living room, the sound of her TV filling the hallway as I rushed in.
I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked Aunt J over, her hair was thinning out dramatically and she had lost so much weight she looked like a skeleton. "Aunt J." I whispered, walking towards her, dropping to my knees when she looked up at me.
"Hey sweetheart." She smiled sweetly at me. I shook my head and grabbed her hand that was resting on the arm of her chair.
"Aunt Judy, what happened?" I asked. She was pale, like all the blood had drained from her body. Her eyes were sunken with dark, brown bags underneath. Her once plump and happy face was now hollow looking, her cheek bones stuck defiantly. I almost had to look away, the sight of her like this was making me sick.
She had once been a happy, healthy woman, who loved to cook and take care of her kids and her animals. She was the friendliest person in this whole town, baking cakes and other goodies for the kids school bake sales, always attended church on Sunday. I looked around the living room and shook my head. It was littered with news papers and empty prescription bottles.
"Aunt J, what's wrong?" I asked, picking up reading the label. "What's rocephin for?" I asked, looking up at her.
"It's for my pneumonia." She explained, bringing the hand I wasn't holding to her mouth as she started coughing. It sounded awful. Wet and painful. I shook my head as tears filled my eyes.
"Judy-Mae, why the hell aren't you in the hospital!?" I asked, giving her a look of utter bewilderment.
"Hospitals ain't my thing." She waved her hand at me, like it wasn't a big deal she looked and sounded the way she did.
"Aunt J, you gotta go to the hospital. Please, let me take you tonight." I pleaded with her, gripping her hand tightly in both of mine. "Aunt J, please." I couldn't help but start crying. "You're not okay, you say you are and you act like you are but fuck, Aunt Judy-Mae, you're sick." I choked out through sobs.
Aunt J looked down at me and placed her free hand on top of mine. "I'm tellin' ya, I'm fine. But if it'll make ya feel better, fine. We can go to the damn hospital." She grumbled. I wiped the tears streaming down my face.
"C'mon, we're going right now." I stood up and helped her out of her chair.
"My keys are on the kitchen table." She wheezed, falling into another coughing fit as I ran into the kitchen, grabbing the keys to her 1983 Dodge Challenger.
I grabbed her jacket that was slung over the back of a chair and ran back to her. Suddenly, I realized that I had left my backpack strapped to the back of my bike.
"Sonofabitch!" I exclaimed as I helped her into her jacket.
Her little frame was lost in the size of what used to be her favorite work coat. It swallowed her up as I zipped it for her.
"What's wrong, babe?" She asked, looking up at me with curious eyes. I shook my head and let her grab the crook of my arm to steady herself as we made our way outside.
"Nothin', Aunt J. Don't worry about it." I mumbled, mostly to myself. I was more concerned with getting her to the hospital. I needed to know she could be fixed. That they could make her okay again.
She had been like a mother to me when my mother wasn't around. My mom had been in and out of jail since I was five for selling drugs. When she was in jail, my dad 'took care' of me but that wasn't really parenting. I taught myself how to get home from school when he forgot to pick me up. I learned how to cook for myself because I knew he wouldn't do it for me. Aunt J was the only person who let me be a kid. When I was here, I was free to run around and play. Not a care in the world. Even if it was for a few short months.
I ran around to the passenger door and opened it for her, helping her get in before shutting the door and running to the drivers side.
I haven't ever driven so fast in my entire life.
The doctor pulled the door open to Aunt Judy-Mae's room and stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind him. He turned around and looked at me, rubbing his forehead with his index finger as he walked towards me. I was leaning against the opposite wall, hands behind my back. I looked at him with concerned eyes and pushed myself forward.
"It's looking a more drastic than when she came in last time." The doctor explained to me. "Last time she came in it was just pneumonia, but now it's looking a lot worse. Her weight loss could be a result of the pneumonia may have spread into an infection and made it hard for her to eat." I crossed my arms over my chest and pursed my lips together tightly. "We're going to run some tests on her but we want her to stay here until we can diagnose her."
"Is she gonna be okay?" I asked. That's all I really cared about. The doctor gave me a sympathetic look, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm not sure yet." He said softly. "We'll tell you as soon as we know." He added, nodding in reassurance. I nodded softly and sighed.
"Can I see her?" I asked, feeling the lump in my throat growing. I looked up at him through my eyelashes and held back tears. He nodded and gently grabbed my shoulder, leading me into Aunt J's room.
I walked in and they had her hooked up to an IV. I held my hand over my mouth when I saw how little she had actually become. The once healthy looking stomach was now non-existent. Her arms were so frail and stick thin.
I walked towards her and she smiled sweetly at me, an oxygen tube wrapped around her ears and under her nose.
"Hi, honey." She said softly, her voice a little hoarse. I smiled at her and sat in the chair that was beside her bed and took her hand in mine.
"Hi, Aunt J." I whispered softly. She gently placed her free hand on the top of mine and wrapped her fingers under my palm. She squeezed my hand for a moment and made me look up at her.
"I'm sorry ya had ta bring me here." She whispered, eyeing the doctor who was standing at the door. I looked behind me and smiled at him softly.
"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner." I whispered back. "Why did you let it get so bad, Aunt J?" I questioned, shaking my head as I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it gently. Her skin was so cold against my flesh. I rested my head on her wrist and closed my eyes. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.
"I ain't wanna be a bother t'no one." She explained quietly, now moving her hand to the top of my head, gently smoothing down the wild curls of my hair. "Don't cry, baby girl, everything's gon' be just fine."
I had driven home that night after the doctor told me visiting hours started at ten, and that I could come back in the morning. The drive seemed so much longer in the car. I didn't wanna go back to that empty house. I didn't want to sit there alone. I wanted to be with Aunt J.
I pulled into the drive way, parked the car and turned it off. I sat there for a moment, holding her keys in my hand. I was tempted to drive up and down the street, to scope out Daryl's pick up truck. I wondered what he was doing.
Probably getting high.
What a cop out. Is life really that hard for you? I've been through some shit and have never needed something to get by. Why was it so hard for everyone else?
I decided it was a bad idea. I was confrontational and wanted to start a fight. That's what I really wanted to do. I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted to hurt my cousins for not checking on their mother. I wanted to hurt my mother for never being around. Never being there for me. If she had been around, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be so upset about this. I wanted to hurt Daryl for needing such a crutch to deal with life.
I just wanted to scream. I slammed the door to the house shut and ran up to the second floor, not even bothering to turn the TV off. Instead I went right to the guest bedroom, relieved that it was untouched by the garbage that had taken over the first floor.
I stripped off my leather jacket and tossed it on the floor. My jeans shortly followed and I crawled into the large, queen sized bed.
I closed my eyes and tried not to picture Aunt J laying in that hospital bed. Instead I tried to picture my bike. My bike on the open road and how the wind feels in my hair. I couldn't think of a better feeling and I could slowly feel the stress in my body slipping away.
I rubbed my eyes sleepily and turned onto my side, looking at the clock on the bedside table.
Two-thirty.
I'd be able to get a couple hours of sleep, hopefully I could get a good nights rest after the events of today. I'd go to the shop after I left the hospital. I wanted to bring Aunt J some magazines and some clothes to wear so she didn't have to wear that hospital gown.
I slowly drifted off into a restless sleep, dreaming of riding my bike down through the mountain. The wind in my hair, and the asphalt under the tires. Something about riding that bike put me to ease.