Disclaimer: Cover Affairs belongs to USA…the song belongs to Marie Digby

Author's note: This song was originally recorded by Linkin Park but I ran across the softer version by Marie Digby first and thought that it fit Annie's situation at the end of World Leader Pretend perfectly. Here's hoping that life gets better soon for our favorite superspy.

SPOILERS for World Leader Pretend included

Annie closed the door to the guest house behind her, slumping back against the cool sturdy wood for a brief moment as she attempted to find the strength to at least make it to her bedroom. The darkness of the room felt strangely soothing to her pounding head and frayed nerves…and, for a brief moment, she entertained the notion of sleeping on the floor of the entryway before shoving the thought aside. She needed a bed…a real bed and not the board of a bed that she had been subjected to in the decontamination lab. Her face crumpled as the thoughts of the lab brought the pain rushing back…pounding against her fragile walls like the waves of a storm, relentless and overwhelming. She drew a slow deep breath as she fought to push them back into the far recesses of her mind. If she gave in now she was not certain that she would be able to pull herself together.

She pushed away from the door with a heavy sigh, shedding her suit coat and shoes as she went. A soft glow caught her attention as she neared her room. For a brief moment, the spy in her wondered if something might be wrong and she found that she did not care. After the heart wrenching couple of days she'd had, she pitied the fool who would dare to take her on now. She pushed open the door and paused, tears welling in her eyes. Her sister had left the small lamp on her nightstand on for her…as well as fresh linens on her bed and a plate of chocolate chip cookies resting beside the bottle of Patron she had received from Auggie…a lifetime ago. She snagged the bottle from the night table, pressing the button on her iPod speakers before moving away. A soft laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head with a weary smile as a song very fitting to her mood filled the silent room with its soft melancholy melody…

In this farewell there is no blood, there is no alibi…'Cause I've drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies…So let mercy come and wash away what I've done…

She moved over to the small kitchenette and tossed the bag of half melted French peas into the freezer; she removed a glass from the cabinet, adding a healthy splash of Patron. She closed her eyes and pressed the glass against the bruise on her forehead for a moment as she listened to the lyrics of the song. Truth and lies…half told truths…she thought of the pain she had witnessed on the face of her friend as she had told her that her husband had lied to her about his profession. She was tired of lying to those she loved…she had thought it best that her sister know the truth before she heard it from a stranger if something were to happen to her. But the truth often hurt just as much.

A tear escaped her eyes, tracing its way along her unblemished cheek as she recalled the kind man who had died a horrible death at the hands of a trusted friend. She knew that she there was nothing she could have done to save him. He had been a dead man long before she had met him at the hotel. She admired his strength and courage in the face of death…the information he had managed to pass on to her would go a long way in helping to protect many innocent lives. All he had wanted in return was a chance to see a baseball game…

Put to rest what you thought of me...while I clean this slate with the hands of uncertainty…So let mercy come and wash away what I've done

Annie lowered the glass and took a fortifying sip, hissing slightly as the alcohol burn a path down her throat and into her empty stomach. She turned slowly and wove her way through the boxes to the window seat, lowering herself down into the soft cushions and tucking her feet beneath her. Her eyes brushed over the neatly stacked towers of boxes which lined her walls, each one labeled with her sister's neat script. The tears began to fall faster as she recalled the pain and betrayal in Danielle's eyes when she had finally told her the truth. In her mind the read-in had gone a lot differently…but then again she had not considered that she would have to confess a radiation screening of her sister's home at the same time. It was not really that surprising that, in the face of this threat, her normally level-headed sister had taken her frustrations out by boxing up her belongings and ordering her to move…the harsh words had been unexpected. Danielle had apologized but the words still stung…as did the fact that she had still asked Annie to leave…

She understood…really she did, but she could not help but feel as if someone had knocked the foundation out from beneath her feet. Her sister was her grounding link to the world beyond the one she experienced every day; she had come to rely on the normalcy her family provided her when the world became too dark, too scary or too painful to bear alone. Although she could never tell them what she had done…and she was often grateful that she could not…she found the strength to keep fighting in the sweet, innocent smiles of her nieces and in the comforting hugs of her big sister. On the days when the missions were too big and the burden too heavy, she pictured them in her mind and she did her best to do what she could to complete her mission…to keep them safe. After all it was overwhelming when one considered saving the world…and much easier to save it for just three. She did not know what she was going to do without them.

A sharp pain in her shoulder drew her attention to the jagged tear in her sleeve and the neat stitches peaking out beneath. She let out a soft sob as she fingered the gash, her mind shifting to the only other link she had to the world outside the one she had chosen. She had not wanted to let Scott go. He was an amazing guy…and he truly cared for her. But she knew deep within that if someday either he too would be driven away by her secrets and her inability to truly let anyone in. It had been better to end it when she did rather than drag it out…but the timing had been really, really horrible.

I'll face myself to cross out what I've become…erase myself and let go of what I've done

In the space of the last two days she'd had a near-death scare, watched an asset/friend die, lost her home, broken up with her boyfriend, gotten into a life-or-death fight with a deadly assassin and nearly lost her sister. She curled into the cushions, pressing her face against the soft fabric as her fragile emotions began to fail her; she felt alone and afraid and very tired. Part of her cursed the day she had chosen to accept the Agency's offer…however what she had told Danielle was the truth. She loved her job; she was good at it and she was making a difference…even though it felt as if the world were caving in on her at the moment.

Annie jumped slightly, startled, as her phone vibrated within the pocket of her pants; she fumbled for it, moving to shut it off, but her thumb stayed as she focused on the name. She cleared her throat softly before placing the phone on speaker, really hoping that he was not calling her on behalf of Joan on a new job. She smiled despite her dark thoughts as her friend and handler's warm soothing timber came over the line.

"Hey there. How are you feeling?"

The tears began to fall faster at the warm concern in Auggie's voice. She was beginning to feel like a dog that had been kicked one too many times. His compassion was a healing balm to her fragile and tattered spirit…as much as his strong hug had been and the knowledge that he had waited for her on the hard plastic chairs of the hospital waiting room the entire night. She sighed heavily as she attempted to pull her emotions back under control.

"I'll live…I think. Let me get back to you in a day or two." She let out a soft wince as she shifted and her bruises began to make themselves known. "or three."

"I'm sorry the read-in with your sister did not go as well as you'd hoped. Give her time. I'm sure she will come around eventually." He reassured.

"She kicked me out, Auggie." Annie whispered, as a fresh wave of tears began to slip down her face, soaking into the soft fabric beneath her.

"I'm sorry, Annie." He said with a soft sigh.

She raised her forgotten glass and took sip. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion as his soft laugh echoed through the phone's small speakers.

"Decided to keep the bottle for yourself, did you?" He teased lightly.

Annie smiled despite herself. "Couldn't let it go to waste. Just a glass." She retorted.

A deep chuckle answered her and she felt some of the ice that gripped her heart begin to thaw. They were silent for a long moment…each lost in thought. Finally she spoke.

"Auggie? Would you do something for me?" she asked softly.

"Anything." Came his reply.

She smiled. "Would you go to a National's game with me?"

He paused for a moment and she could practically hear the understanding in his voice as he replied. "Of course…I'm always up for a cold hotdog and a lukewarm beer. How about I help you look for a place in the morning and then we can catch the game tomorrow afternoon."

Annie caught herself nodding. She rolled her eyes at her actions as she answered. "Sounds perfect. Thanks."

"My pleasure…are you going to be alright?" Auggie asked.

Annie smiled softly. "Eventually."

"Another shot of Patron, a hot shower and a good night sleep…that's my miracle cure for what ails you."

Annie laughed. "Thank you, Dr. Anderson. I'll be sure to try it."

She heard him chuckle.

"Call me if you need me. Anytime. I mean it." He said as his tone grew serious.

Annie smiled, the tears fading beneath the warmth pooling in her stomach. "Thanks, Auggie. I'll see you tomorrow."

Auggie snorted. "That makes one of us."

She groaned laughingly as she said goodnight and hung up. She smiled as she brushed the tears back from her face. The ache had not gone away completely and she knew there were still things she would have to deal with later, but she knew that she would be alright and that she was not alone…and that was enough for now.

I'll start again…and whatever pain might come, today this ends. I'm forgiving what I've done…

have a song suggestion? send it to me and I'll see what I can come up with...