Standard Disclaimer applied.
AN: To my beloved, Shigure-kun… I'll always love you… always…
Looking into his sad eyes is something that somehow I can't bear...
I can't bear it...
It's so painful that I can't stand up to it... I always feel my heart shattered to pieces...
'Coz while I know that he's suffering, I just stood unmoving, watching, doing nothing as I let him bear the pain himself...
It pains me that I couldn't do anything for him... That I love him so much, yet here I am, not doing anything to help him... not doing anything to ease his pains... It makes me feel worthless... I'm so pathetic...
I'm just watching him as he smiles with the tiniest hint of tears in his eyes... I'm just watching him while he wears his fake stupid smiles...What use am I loving him, when I couldn't even offer my shoulders for him to lean on?
It pains me... It hurts me... Like it's me who has been hurting all along... Like it's me who feels thrice the pain of what he feels... It pains me when I can't do anything because I know too well, that it's just that, I can't do anything! Anything to take away his sadness, loneliness, all negative feelings welling in his doubtful heart... What am I but a shy weak girl anyway? For him, I'll always be that...For him I'll never be a woman...
I can't bear it...
Looking into his sad eyes and feeling my heart breaks into million of pieces... It's something I can't bear...
I can't bear it unless I stopped loving him...