Disclaimer: CSI:NY belongs to CBS, nothing new. AN: just got this one in my head yesterday. Thanks Stella Taylor. Oh, by the way this is inspiered by tru events, my poor father.
Cheers
La Suede
New York City's Most Stupid Criminal
by: La Suede
"Seriously!"
Stella Bonasera almost dropped her keys and bag on the pavement. Someone had broken into her car, not to steal that nice CD on the passengers seat, or her car radio, oh no they were more sophisticated that that. They had stolen the front section of her car. Pulling on a pair of gloves Stella popped the hood to inspect the damage done, missing from her beautiful black car was: the car battery, the headlights (including her turn signal), the radiator, the sparking plugs etc.
"Man" Stella sighed, she was already inexcusably late, and she put the bag on the pavement next to her feet. Stella pulled out her cell phone placing a quick call to Mac's voice mail and told him she would be late and that she would explain later before she dialled 411 who re-directed her to the road assistance (she did not envy them: making a living picking up broken down cars in New York City when traffic here was murderous was something she couldn't fathom). Then she placed the mandatory call to the local precinct, reporting the break in on her car and than waited for the police to show up.
Stella was sitting on the kerb, bored out of her wits, flipping the cell phone open and close, again and again, when the police arrived. An older gentleman and his remarkably younger partner, probably a rookie, stepped out of the vehicle. Stella got to her feet and walked over to meet them, she could hear the rookie snigger when he noticed her car, and laugh openly when she identified herself. The older police gave him a glare and the rookie shut his mouth.
"I'm sorry ma'am, he's new, thinks just coz' he's a cop, crimes not gonna happen to him."
Stella waved the apology away, instead saying, "Don't we all?"
Stella gave her statement, the police took some photos then they were on their way again leaving Stella to continue her cell phone abuse seated on the kerb. Thankfully the road assistance wasn't that far behind the cops and Stella could soon wave her car farewell and make for the underground station. By now she was more than an hour late.
Storming in to the New York Crime lab Stella glared at anyone who dared to approach her, she was in a terrible mood and it oozed from her presence. She glared into the Audio/Video lab and found Mac, Danny and Flack inside. Pulling the door open with more force than necessary Stella made her presence known by loudly exclaiming:
"I hate New York," she growled, flopping down on one of the desk stools. Amused smiles broke out on the faces of the men. Mac was the one brave enough (or stupid enough) to open his mouth.
"This has of course nothing to do with you being late," his voice was lined with sarcasm.
"Oh, it has every thing to do with my lateness" in her indignant state of mind the sarcasm was lost on Stella "don't you think the person who had broken into my car this morning was just plain stupid."
When all the three men failed to see the stupidity in this, Stella went on explaining.
"They had taken the car battery, the headlights including my turn signal, the radiator, the sparking plugs and various other bells and whistles I don't know the name for, much less the functions"
Mac, Danny and Flack had to agree that that was indeed stupid and Flack was about to open his mouth when Stella continued," And do you know what make this person even stupider?"
A shake of the head from her three co-workers made her continue "my car is PD issued. It says NYPD on its sides!"
Stella couldn't keep the angry tone in her voice any longer, because when she thought of it and boy had she thought about it, it was actually quite funny and the laughing voices of her three best friends confirmed that.