This is dedicated to Flagg. Welcome everyone, TO THE BODACIOUS E'S SCHOOL OF PIMPANOMICS.
The Bodacious E was patient. This was unusual...for this was the precise reason he started writing funny shit. He didnt have the patience for slow moving romantic tales lets keep it short. He had a knack for getting to the fucking point. Which is why in HIS pimp school you were taught to be the best of the best in a matter of seven months.
"Ight pussies! I wanna see you treat dem hoes a lesson! Smack dat bitch! She stole meth from you! Slap her!" T.B.E. Yelled in frustration as he twisted his gold tipped cane.
He looked at his star pupil. Lincoln Loud.
He had been admitted by Flagg1991. T.B.E. wasnt too sure at first but Lincoln quickly showed that he wasnt one to be fucked with.
Lincoln had just finished chokin his hoe. She was already black and blue! IN UNDER THIRTY SECONDS!!!!
"Got-Damn son! You wrecked that hoe! You have an A in chokin a bitch out." T.B.E. said.
"Damn right cracka!" Lincoln said.
There were seven classes. One for each month in which you collected your skill.
1. Style
2. Making A Prostitute
3. Money Collecting.
4. Strangling.
5. Beating.
6. Drug Home ec.
7. The Slap 'A' Rap.
Lincoln had finished strangling a head of time and as T.B.E. said he wanted to get to the fucking point.
The Bodacious E handed Lincoln his cane. "Beat that bitch Lincoln! Beat her!"
Lincoln looked at the cane and understanding passed through him. He slapped dat hoe in the back of the knee and she fell. Lincoln unzipped his pants and his twelve inch hunk a meat fell out. He slapped the hoe in tha face with his schlong full throttle! He beat her down with his meat. Then he proceeded to beat her down to size with his ringed hands!
"Whos yo daddy bitch?! Tell me WHOS YO MUTHA FUCKIN DADDY!!!!" Lincoln yelled.
"You are daddy!" the bitch moaned out in pain.
"Damn right slut." Lincoln said as he zipped up his pants.
The Bodacious E knew for a fact that this kid had the pimp hand for sure... if he could make him use it...
"Lincoln cook me a batch a blow that'll make mah fuckin head spin!"
Lincoln immediately disappeared into another room and began cookin. Once done he handed a bag to The Bodacious E.
T.B.E. stuck his face in and inhaled.
T.B.E.'s head flew off his shoulders in a cartoonish fashion.
"Lincoln you have now graduated to Head Daddy of the class if you pass this next class you may become Pimp Daddy..."
Lincoln smirked. "You should try my meth...so whats the next test?"
TBE smiled "You must learn the slap a rap. Actually i think your more powerful try and go as hard as you can."
Another hoe was brought in and pushed to her knees.
"This hoe here said that you didnt know howta put your rings on...show her what happens when you speak about daddy like that."
Lincoln glared down at the hoe as he pulled at his purple tux. "Fuck you say about me bitch? Listen up hoe! Yous about ta learn what happens to niggas that try amd talk about daddy Lincoln behind his back..."
Lincoln lifted his hand. it glowed like hot coals. The Bodacious E smiled He had the pimp hand! Lincoln swung down such a devastating back hand that it made a ripple of respect across the U.S. Every woman that was pregnant gave birth but little did the parents know that Lincoln had injected his influence in the babies. When those skanks grew up they would be workin for him!
The Bodacious E bowed. "You have the Pimp Hand so now you have graduated Big Daddy of your class!"
"But i thought that i was gonna be pimp daddy!" Lincoln shouted angrily.
TBE smiled apologetically. "Sorry pal a fella came through this class and graduated in one week. Also he had the pimp hand too his name was Gold Cock Binkie Lincy.
Lincoln raised his cane and smacked The Bodacious E in the back of the knee.
"The fuck is this shit bitch? You tellin me i aint good enough?"
Lincoln raised his hand and delivered such a slap to TBE that he forgot the purpose of his penis.
He ate it.
Lincoln got in his pimpin ride and headed home.