Worst Night Ever
By: Crusher1701
Word Count: 1235
Summary: Q's been a bad boy and wants Jean-Luc to treat him like one. Splash of Jean-Luc/Beverly
"I'm a bad boy. So treat me like one," whispered into Jean-Luc's ear from behind him.
"What?" Jean-Luc snapped, turning around. His face was turning red as he looked at Q who was biting his lip.
"You heard me, mon capitaine," Q replied. "I've been such an annoyance to you, so I need you to treat me like the bad boy I am."
"Q, do you hear yourself when you speak?" Jean-Luc asked, looking at the omnipotent being in shock, hoping Q wasn't asking for anything that could be considered sexual.
"I do, and right now, I assume your human mind is in the proverbial gutter. "And there is no reason why it should be there."
"Q, you started off by saying something extremely sexual in nature. Of course my mind is going to be in the proverbial gutter," Jean-Luc replied. "Give me an explanation as to how you're not being sexual."
"When someone misbehaves on your ship, they'd usually be sent to the brig. I've only been put in the brig once, and that wasn't even a long stay," Q explained.
"So, you want to be thrown in the brig?" Jean-Luc asked in confusion.
"It's not that I want to, but the Q Continuum wants to make sure that I understand the severity of the things that I've done, and they told me to find a way to do so. I figure that sometime in the brig of the Enterprise will teach me a lesson."
"So you wish to take up the time of my crew in order to supervise you in the brig?"
"Data won't mind spending time with me!" Q stated.
"He is my Operations officer. He's more needed elsewhere. I can't spare anybody, you need to leave."
"Leave me with a security officer. Or stay with me yourself until you find someone," Q suggested. Jean-Luc groaned loudly.
"Why should I look after you, I'm the Captain of this ship," he said.
"Because you're the only one I'm likely to obey," Q replied, crossing his arms and behaving as though the answer were obvious.
"You've never done what I've told you to before," Jean-Luc reminded him angrily.
"You can't know that I won't start to obey you," he protested.
"I can doubt it. And I do doubt it," Jean-Luc said, turning to walk away. Q followed behind him.
"Mon capitaine, that isn't fair. You can't doubt me like that, what have I done to deserve that? I've never doubted you!" he exclaimed.
"You have put myself and my crew on trial for the crimes of humanity! You have caused nothing but disaster every time you have come aboard this ship!" Jean-Luc roared.
Q sighed and frowned. "You're right, I do deserve your doubt. But I would like another chance. I think I've learned my lesson. If I cause something to go wrong that I can't fix, then you can get rid of me, and I'll return to the Continuum in shame."
Jean-Luc sighed loudly. "Fine Q, but we'll stay in the brig. You're not going anywhere, and if you annoy me, I will get rid of you and if that happens, I better not see you ever again."
Q's jaw dropped lightly. "If you really feel that way mon capitaine," he replied after a moment of silence.
"That is exactly how I feel Q," Jean-Luc replied, leading Q by the arm to the brig. He was going to need a rest when this was all over, he knew that much. He wished that he didn't have to do this. It was going to be a long night, he knew, possibly the worst night ever.
Once Q was secure in a cell of the brig, Jean-Luc sat down in one of the chairs that would usually be occupied by a member of the security team. He tapped his comm badge to ask Beverly to bring him his copy of Hamlet and a cup of Earl Grey to the brig. She hesitated for a brief moment before agreeing to do this for him. He couldn't be happier that he would have some Shakespeare and Earl Grey to relax him as he watched Q. Well, he could be happier if he were able to keep the date he had set for that evening.
He sat back and looked at Q who was sat on the bed in his cell as he waited for Beverly. He knew he would owe her for this, but all she was likely to ask for was the usual: dinner and dancing, him actually showing up for his physical. Ever since they had begun a relationship, she hadn't asked for much more than dinner and dancing with cuddling in either of their quarters afterwards. He was more than sorry that he wouldn't be able to hold her that night, but he would make up for it in the coming days.
When Beverly entered the brig, she smiled at Jean-Luc as she approached him, her hands full with much more than just Hamlet and a cup of Earl Grey. She had brought along Taming of the Shrew, as well as a blanket and pillow. She sat down beside him and took his hand.
"Are you going to have to watch Q all night?" she asked, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb.
"I'm afraid so my dear. I'm sorry, but since Data has a night shift, I'm the only one that's available that wouldn't kill him after five minutes," he replied. "I'd much rather be with you though."
Beverly leaned forward with a small smile and pressed her lips to his until they heard clapping coming from Q's cell. Pulling back, Beverly pursed her lips and turned to look at the omnipotent being with a death glare. "What?" she snapped.
"I didn't realize the two of you were a thing Doctor," Q commented. "Am I interrupting your time together, lovebirds?"
Q," Jean-Luc interrupted as Beverly opened her mouth. "Remember that threat I issued to you earlier?"
Q nodded. "How could I forget? It was very mean of you."
"You don't want me to follow through with that threat, do you?" he asked, Q shaking his head. "Then please, leave Dr Crusher alone."
Beverly smiled softly and gave Jean-Luc another small kiss before standing up and telling him she was going back to her quarters. Jean-Luc nodded and stood up to give her a goodnight hug and kiss. Once she left, Jean-Luc sat down to drink his tea and read some Shakespeare.
Beverly was fuming as she left. But she had too, otherwise she would have killed Q, she knew Jean-Luc knew that in his heart.
He had been right about that night, but not about what would happen. He had assumed that Q and his annoying antics that would make it the worst night ever, but it was Beverly leaving because of Q that truly upset him.
Opening up his copy of Hamlet, Jean-Luc settled down for what was shaping up to the worst night ever. And by the time ship's morning came around, Jean-Luc could not be more grateful that he was leaving the brig to return to his quarters. Spending a night with Q sitting in a cell in his brig and missing time with Beverly was something he never wanted to do again, and he never would.
After all, you can only have one worst night ever.
finis.