Something In The Air - Part One
Ashes to Ashes
Episode 7
Gene's POV, what happened that night and why.
Rated T: Contains same language.
A big thank you to my Beta Reader Briarrose08 and to Philip Glenister and Keeley Hawes who play these characters with such depth that it is possible to look deeper into them..
The smell of iron and piss still hung in the air around me, like a heavy cloak tied too tight. I walked away from Alex, the look in her eyes had hit me like ice, cold water. She made me so bloody angry tonight but her earlier betrayal hurt me far less than the naked look of disappointment in her eyes. I had to walk away from her, I was so ashamed.
So I walked away from the scene of Shaz's stabbing. With each step I could still hear fearful the sounds of the night - Alex fighting and Shaz screaming with terror and pain, echoed in my brain. The pitiful horror of Shaz crying for her mother and for Chris, will haunt me for a long, long time. I could still feel the weight of Chris in my arms, a heartbroken man while poor Shaz appeared lifeless before our eyes.
The mad thing about tonight is that Chris Skelton isn't really a violent man, I know he will defend himself but he has never been a real thug like Ray or me. Tonight I stood back and watched as he nearly killed a man; but that is what we do to cop killers, they deserve no mercy from me. I brushed off Viv's correct admonishment and through Chris and Ray, I unleashed the fury, while Alex refused to give up and fought for Shaz until she breathed. I knew I had seriously hurt our chances of a conviction, that Gil Hollis could go free. Tim and Caroline Price will be delighted to bring me down for this. At least I won't have to tell Shaz's mother that she is dead, her life is worth the flack that I'll get for the beating. Christ, I was so proud of Alex tonight, even when she was screaming at those demons that haunt her and I wished I could tell her but she pushed me away.
When Alex looked me in the eye previously and shook her head, when she stopped for a moment, the old red mist had invaded my senses, and my judgement was gone as a huge, terrible burden fell on me. The death of a police officer is always sad, but the murder of a police woman becomes a national tragedy. Shaz was on my team, on my case, stabbed to death, in a drive to prove herself . It was my responsibility and a fucking nightmare of repercussions. And I would have to tell her mother, I could feel Chris's tears soaking my shirt as he fell apart in my arms.
As I walked towards the police station, blue lights whirling by, the air was damp and cold. Suddenly I felt my stomach lurch hard, and I was violently sick behind a stinking row of bins. The fear, the sounds and the adrenaline of the night were released in a very private moment, until a small hand rested on my back. I jumped in horror, embarrassed that I had been caught but I found only sympathy in my partner's gaze. Curly hair blowing in the breeze, silent tears running down her pretty face, Alex stood beside me. I cautiously met her eyes and I saw no anger, just a little understanding and in the silence we forgave each other for all that had happened between us that night.
The whiskey that rinsed out my mouth was fortifying; it warmed my blood, and Alex and I returned to work. Later, bound together in easy silence, we went to the hospital to see Shaz and to support Chris though a very long night.