Welcome To My World
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James Potter is the bad boy of Hogwarts, the brilliant prankster. No one knows the true him. The boy struggling to figure out girls, hormones, and the oily git Snivellus. A funny insight into the thoughts of the Marauder.
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Leaning against the wall, I watched as Lily Evans raved about my arrogance. It really was quite funny, since her cheeks were flushed hotly, and her tiny hands were balled into fists.
Sometimes, Lily reminds me of a Chihuahua. You know, those little puny dogs, who think they can beat someone thrice their size? My Muggle neighbor has one.
She's one of those batty, old ladies. You know, the ones who sit around knitting sweaters for grandchildren who don't exist? And the ones who make, shudder, healthy chocolate chip cookies.
Yup. Lily the Chihuahua. It has a nice ring to it.
I start laughing, picturing Lily's face if she ever heard my thoughts.
However, I made a single mistake.
I laughed in the middle of one of Lily's tantrums. Blimey, even the first years learn not to cross Lily by their second day.
Lily shrieked, "You are so fucking arrogant Potter! How can you stand there, laughing?"
She stalked up, her scarlet hair flying behind her. Poking me hard in the chest, she shouted, "I hate you, Potter! I wonder how your broomstick gets off the ground with that fat head on it! You are disgusting!"
Affronted, I inject, "I'm not disgusting. Merlin, do you even know what disgusting is? Disgusting is Snivellus over here. I mean, look at that oily hair!"
I prod at Snape with my shoe, in case she doesn't know who he is.
Although it's kind of hard to miss him. I mean, he's the only greasy arsehole in Hogwarts. Oil companies all over the world are probably debating over who gets to dig on him. Does George Bush know about him?
Lily looks appalled, and she screeched, "Don't you bloody kick him, Potter!"
Kick?
It was a prod.
Snape decides to pop out of his stunned state, and he struggles up while I explain the difference between a kick and a prod to Lily.
"Shut up, Mudblood." He spat, glaring at Lily venomously.
"What?" Lily squeaked. "I'm on your side."
"I don't want a filthy Mudblood on my side." Snape snarled. I regain my common sense and whip out my wand.
"Apologize, Snivellus!" I roared, glaring at him fiercely. While I'm giving Snape the hairy eyeball, a Slytherin hexes me from behind.
"Oi! No dirty fighting!" Sirius shouted, running up to help me. Remus was right on his heels, gripping his wand. Behind them, Peter cowered, watery eyes searching for shelter.
Bloody coward.
I sent Sirius and Remus a smile of gratitude, and a full-fledged war breaks out between the Slytherins and Gryffindors.
Of course, Lily screamed at people to stop, but they're too busy hexing the guy/girl who always pissed them off.
"You bloody tossers! Stop fighting, or I'm going to fucking stun you!" Lily shouted, her green eyes glaring at the whole hall collectively.
This is what I really like about Lily. She's not one of those pansies, who burst into tears and run to a professor.
Nope. Like a true hero, she stuns and swears at anyone who makes her angry.
We are so meant to be together.
Lily stamps her foot in anger, and brandished her wand, "Stupefy." People everywhere start dropping to the ground like dead flies.
Lily then pockets her wand, and turns to the few remaining (who had wisely cast a shield around themselves). Namely, me, Sirius, and Remus.
"You three, get them to the Hospital Wing prompt-o." She commands.
Sirius grinned, "Ay, ay captain."
"And if anyone asks, it was Potter's fault."
See? I'm always called the bad guy. But I'm not. I'm just a bystander. No one knows this, though.
Welcome to my fucked up, deranged world.
Yours truly,
James Potter
Author's Notes
Just a weird story...REVIEW, please. This is my first fic.