A/N: So this is technically my first proper story as my last one was only a slight re-do of what had actually happened on VM. I thought I'd try One Tree Hill this time and see how I do.
The one-shots set the morning after Brooke and Nathan hooked up, it could be considered AU but there's really no way of knowing, so this is just my wishful thinking. It's all Brooke's POV and Nathan's not actually really in it, but you'll figure it all out as you read. I'm really nervous about this so be kind, review and let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I don't own OTH, and after season 4 I might not even claim it if I did.
I wake up to a mass of blurs.
The blurs remind me of last night.
Except those blurs were technicolour and these are just black and white, and that's how I know you are gone without having to feel for you, but I do it anyway because even after all the let downs I've gone through in my life there is still that naïve little girl in me who believes in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, happy endings and true love.
But I know you're not true love and I knew it last night, which is why I can't understand this emptiness that I feel when I see that you are, in fact, gone.
No note, no real sign that you were even there, except for the slight dent in the pillow.
For reasons beyond me I pick it up to see if it smells of you, but then it occurs to me that I don't know what you smell like.
The only smells I remember from last night are alcohol, sweat and more alcohol, and it's not like we spent any real time together before that for me to know what cologne you wear.
Not that it matters anyway, one less thing to remind me of what happened when I see you on Monday, and I will see you on Monday, it's as inevitable as you not being here when I woke up.
I finally get out of the bed, find my clothes and make my way downstairs, I pray that you not being in the bed means you're not in the house, as it is your house that I'm tiptoeing around.
But the only people I see are all the other drunks from the party, passed out on tables, chairs and the floor.
Some are awake and sober enough to notice me, but they just smile and nod and mutter something about what a great party it was last night.
None of them suspect anything though, it's hardly news worthy for me to leave a party early in the morning after hooking up with some random guy, I am Brooke Davis after all.
As soon as I step through my red door I love so much my phone starts ringing from my bag, I curse the phone for being so loud but I answer it with a half polite 'Hello'.
It's Peyton.
She's phoning to bitch about you.
About what an asshole you are and how she'll never take you back.
It pains me that I take some joy from that statement, even though I know it's a lie, but I decide to hang on to that joy until she phones me back in a couple of hours to tell me she's giving you one more chance, although she doesn't know why.
I do.
I never understood before, but after last night I understand completely and I really wish I didn't.
It's your eyes.
No matter how lame it may sound there's something about them, the moment you really look into them; they make everything else turn to grey until all you see is them.
That's all that's left now: grey.
The blurriness from this morning has gone but the greyness has taken over completely.
I spend the next day and a half trying to get the colour back into the world, but it doesn't work.
Monday rolls around too soon, and I know I'm going to see you, most likely with Peyton, and I prepare myself as much as I can but when I see you walking towards me with your arm casually slung over Peyton's shoulders, like nothing happened between us or between the two of you, I feel like I'm being stabbed and the greyness seems to darken, but then you're right in front of me saying 'Hi', and our eyes lock and for that split second the colour finally returns but then you break the contact, kiss Peyton and head off to whatever class you've got and the world goes back to grey.