So I haven't written in a fair while and recently had the urge to. PLL is one of my favourite shows, so I just played around with some ideas for Spoby. Not really sure where I'm going with this, but I guess we'll see! Enjoy, and please leave feedback if you have the time; thank you!
Chapter 1. Let Memories Be
Spencer woke suddenly, her breathing ragged and her nose runny, as her eyes adjusted to the silhouettes of objects around her room. After allowing herself to wake up slightly more, she brought her hand to her cheek, feeling where tears had left a dried up path down her face and other parts still wet. She quickly wiped her face of the remnants of the scene that had played in her mind while she'd slept that night. That dream hadn't resurfaced for what had been months now. For whatever reason it had returned so vividly that night was a mystery to Spencer. It's not like she cared anymore. What was there to care about? It was done, and it was fine. Everything was fine. Spencer was fine. And Spencer being fine made the others happy, so there was no reason for her to not be fine.
That aside, there were more important things to think about. Spencer groaned and fell back onto her bed, shoving her face into the pillow as she remembered in her sleepy haze that exam period was coming up soon. The last exams she would ever take on Rosewood High's grounds. While that thought definitely lifted her mood, the wait for results and offers from college did not. UPenn had been Spencer's dream college since she could say 'college', and no one and nothing was going to stand in her way of getting in. Unless, of course, she died of stress first.
Deciding to block the negative thoughts that were sure to follow, Spencer decided to go downstairs for a drink. After checking the time and considering that coffee would only keep her awake, she decided water was the way to go. Taking the glass, she headed for the stairs to go back to her room, when she caught sight of the couch. There wasn't anything particularly spectacular about their couch; they'd had it for years and it had always been in the same spot. But after having that dream again, memories started creeping back into Spencer's mind that she'd mostly suppressed those months ago. Hesitantly, she walked over and sat down on the far right side. She looked over to the empty space next to her that had once been occupied on a regular basis. As she slowly started reminiscing, Spencer felt a familiar pang in her chest, and stood up immediately.
"Stupid couch," she muttered, and quickly ran back upstairs, jumping back into bed and crawling right under the covers. The sooner she fell asleep, the sooner she'd forget all of this and then by morning she'd have other things to worry about. But after tossing and turning for more than an hour, she gave up trying. She lay on her back and stared up at her ceiling. Maybe if she stopped trying to not think about it, it would run its course, stop bothering her and let her sleep. Seeing no other options, Spencer closed her eyes and let the scene replay in her mind. As always, it did so without skipping a single detail.
It had been a cold and dreary night as Spencer ventured to the apartment that Thursday. It was only 9 o'clock, but there was no one outside in sight. There had been storm warnings on the news that evening, telling people to stay inside if they could, but it was only a five-minute drive. It had started drizzling by the time she parked her car. She got out quickly, locking it behind her as she ran up the steps to his door. She ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to neaten it from the slight frizz the drizzle had caused, before ringing the doorbell. A moment later she heard footsteps approaching. The locks clicked and the door opened, revealing him. There wasn't a single feature of him that Spencer couldn't place. His well-built stature, his tousled light brown hair, his masculine jaw, his eyes. His piercing, blue eyes. They were the kind that looked right into her core whenever she stared at them; that was a feeling she would never forget. He was wearing a sky-blue shirt with a pair of dark worn jeans. If perfection existed, he was the embodiment of it. She felt the warm embrace of his strong arms around her, before following him inside.
Spencer's mind wandered over the minor parts of the night, some of them somewhat faded from being suppressed for so long, but the end of the night, of course, played like a scene in a movie. They'd been sitting on his couch for a little while, not speaking. The silence was starting to make Spencer feel uncomfortable; she could see something was playing on his mind. Before she had a chance to open her mouth, he stood up.
"Spence," he murmured, his face serious, "We need to talk." Spencer's heart sped up at the utterance of those words. They didn't exactly have the reputation of being about good news. She glanced down at the floor.
"Talk about what?" she almost whispered.
"Us." She looked up at him, but he continued to look down.
"What about us?" although, she was fairly certain she knew where this was heading. She just couldn't believe it. He sat back down and looked at her, except where his eyes usually had a piercing effect, this time were void of any emotion.
"I think you and I have gone through a lot. A lot more than most people have," he started, "And it did make us stronger…for a while…" he trailed off, turning his gaze to the window. Spencer could feel tears welling up in her eyes. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.
"…you don't want to be with me anymore?" she felt the pressure growing in her throat as she stopped herself from crying.
"I just think we're too different now. Too much has happened. We're kidding ourselves into thinking everything's the same, but it's not. It's not Spence." At this point, tears were trickling down Spencer's face, as she swallowed hard, trying to maintain her composure.
"Do you still love me?" her voice hard.
"Like I said, everything is too different now."
"That wasn't my question. Do you love me?"
"Spence, don't-"
"DO YOU LOVE ME?" Spencer's voice cracked, as fresh tears spilled over and down her cheeks. He looked back at her for a moment, then back to his focus on the window.
"I don't. And I haven't for a while." He stood, strolling over to where he kept his car keys.
"No…" Spencer choked before starting to sob. She stood and ran over to him, grabbing his arm tight, "No…don't go…" she tried pulling him back towards the couch. It seemed so surreal, she didn't know whether it was actually happening or if she was asleep and having a terrible dream, "We have to talk…about this…don't go…"
"Let me go Spencer," his voice stone and his eyes cold.
"Please…listen!" Spencer choked between sobs.
"Let. Go."
"PLEASE-"
"I SAID, LET GO!" wrenching his arm free, he pushed her to the ground where she collapsed in a pathetic heap. Peering back up at him through her tears, he stared at her for a quick moment, no remorse in his eyes. He then turned around and headed straight out the door. Spencer lay crumpled and unmoving on the ground, with the exception of the heavy sobs emanating from her chest, as she listened to his car back out onto the street, before the sound disappeared into the distance. Her limbs refused to move, as her lungs refused to let her breathing return to normal, so she allowed herself to continue crying until unconsciousness ensued.
"Just keep walking," he muttered to himself, "Don't you dare look back." He quickly jumped into his car, started the ignition and speedily reversed onto the main road, "You're doing this for her…you're doing this for her…for her." He sped down the road, taking the first entrance to the highway. A tear slowly trickled down his left cheek, but he brushed it away and blinked vigorously the clear the rest. She would never forgive him for this. Never. But it was better for the both of them if she didn't. Reflecting on the scene that had just played out, he wished he could have answered differently. He saw Spencer's face, torn with anger as she screamed at him,
"DO YOU LOVE ME?" He finally let the tears fall as they came, not bothering to wipe them away, staring straight ahead down the dark abysmal road,
"I do."
Drifting out of her trance, Spencer found herself in a foetal position, knees hugged to her chest. She knew her face was soaked with tears but she was too tired to wipe them away. Small sobs escaped her chest, as she curled herself into the smallest ball she could be. Before completely slipping from consciousness, the same four words she softly murmured,
"I love you, Toby."
