Written for Macceh for the Three AM challenge on HPFC
Character: James Potter
Challenge: Write a fic containing the line: "Do you really think three in the morning is the appropriate time to be discussing this?"
Summary: Lily catches James sneaking out to meet Sirius at three in the morning. :)

James shuffled down the stairs quietly, wincing as they creaked beneath him. He moved silently across the house, careful not to make a sound for fear he would wake his wife, who was sleeping peacefully upstairs.

He entered the dark kitchen and reached over to flick on the light, smiling to himself. His mouth fell open when he seen Lily Potter standing in front of him in a pink nightdress, glaring at him.

"Lily?" he asked, a confused look covering his face. "But you're upstairs..."

"Does it look like I'm upstairs, James?" she exclaimed angrily, hands on hips, green eyes flaring.

"Ah...?"

"And why aren't you upstairs?" she yelled, causing him to shudder.

"I was, ah, going to get a cup of tea."

"Don't lie to me!"

His eyes widened in shock. "Lily, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about him!" she yelled, spinning around and pointing to a far corner of the kitchen. Sitting on one of the counters was Sirius Black, who waved shyly at James when he spotted him. James groaned silently.

"Lil, maybe you should calm down."

Well, that was obviously the wrong thing to say.

"Don't you tell me to calm down James! You can't just go sneaking off with Sirius Black and that damn motorbike when you're supposed to be asleep IN BED!"

"I knew I should of given you that potion." he muttered under his breath. Luckily for him, she didn't seem to have heard.

"James Potter, are you even listening to me?"

No, he thought silently, biting his lip to prevent himself from laughing at the idiot in the corner, pulling faces behind his wife's back. How had she even known?

"Lil, it's okay, calm down. Do you really think that three in the morning is the appropriate time to be discussing this? Your tired, and very hormonal…."

"DON'T TELL ME I'M HORMONAL!"

James shivered as his wife screamed at him. Over his shoulder, he saw Sirius's face pale.

"Maybe you should go back to-"

"POTTER, FOR DAMN'S SAKE LISTEN TO ME FOR ON-"

She was so busy shouting at him that she didn't notice when he pulled his wand out from his pocket and pointed it at her. Her eyelids fluttered closed and she fell forward gently, into his waiting arms. Sirius slipped off the counter with a small thud and walked over to his friend.

"Did you just jinx your wife?" he asked, eying the now sleeping woman with a grin.

"No." James replied. He disapparated on the spot, put Lily in their bed and then appeared downstairs again in front of his friend. "How did you even get here?"

Sirius shrugged. "I was just waiting in the usual spot for you and she appeared and started screaming at me. Then she brought me back here. I forgot how scary she could be. The last time she gave out to you like that, we were still in school."

"Yeah, she's gotten scarier in the last couple of weeks, believe me. Remind me never to knock her up again, will you? Pregnant Lily's a nightmare."

"Sure. Now, are we going to go Prongs, or have a cup of tea?"

A/N: Really short and mostly dialouge, i know. Probably the last thing you were expecting to read, lol. Thanks for reading!