Author's Note: First, I don't own Gilmore Girls. Second, I know this story has been posted before by me. I'm reposting because I'm rewriting. I would just go into the old account and add to it but, it has been so long I don't remember the username/password or even the email address I used. Also, I figure a fresh start couldn't hurt.
After an embarrassing conversation about her quasi-'relationship' with her mother Rory was in desperate need of a giant cup of coffee. She also needed to finish her latest article, before Doyle started the not so subtle hints at home and the yelling in the newsroom. Why, oh why couldn't Paris have found someone else to play crazy people's version of house with? Hell, Professor Flemming was starting to look like the fun, happy times of yesterday.
With her mind bouncing all around Rory wasn't paying any attention to her surroundings. She didn't notice the darkly handsome Jess watching her from a bench place a few feet away from the coffee cart, Paris had grudgingly informed him Rory frequented. 'God she's even more beautiful than ever.' He thought feeling the hollowness that started in his gut whenever he was near her. 'Don't blow it this time, jackass. This time is for keeps.' He coached himself once more.
Just as she was about to order Jess made his move.
"Large coffee." He said from her side holding out the cup in front of her face.
"Oh!" Rory jumped and looked up from counting her money to see Jess' smiling face.
"Jess?!"
"The one and only." he smirked, waving the coffee closer to her nose.
"What are you doing here, Jess?" Rory question trying to hide the way her heart skipped a beat. After what happened the last time she saw him, she had been sure he would never reappear.
"You mean besides trying to hand you this delicious coffee?" He waved the cup in front of her face one more time.
"Yes. I mean in general, Jess. As in here at Yale?" Trying to sound irritated. She couldn't let him see the effect he still had on her after all these years.
"I wanted to apologize for what happened the last time I was here." He looked deeply into Rory's eyes willing her to see his sincerity.
Rory couldn't help but smile and take the hot beverage, Jess was still holding out like a peace offering. He had always known how to wiggle his way out of a possible sticky situation.
"Really? You, apologizing? Should we notify the media of the impending apocalypse now or later?" She asked trying to sound less awkward than she felt.
Shaking his head and smiling, Jess itched to wrap his arms around her. He'd missed her so much it had been physically painful at some points. Everything about her had haunted him.
"Why warn the masses? What have they done for us recently?" He joked in an exaggerated whisper, trying to see Rory's smile one more time.
"Good point." Rory laughed, thinking how easy the banter had always been with Jess.
Jess decided to dive in and ask what he'd wanted to ask her. No point in dragging this part out. "Have dinner with me? We'll talk. We'll eat. It'll be fun."
"Dinner?" Rory asked, sounding almost confused. Jess was apologizing, asking her to dinner. He even looked put together. He'd cut his hair, lost the leather jacket. Swapping it for a nicer looking jean jacket. He just seemed more like an adult than the town bad boy.
"Dinner. The meal usually consumed after lunch and some time before collapsing into bed." He deadpanned.
He stood there, hoping she would say yes. If she didn't Jess would understand but that wouldn't make it hurt any less. It also wouldn't stop him from trying again. And again and again if needed.
A few moments passed with Rory and Jess just staring at each other in front of the coffee cart. Rory shocked this was actually happening. Jess silently praying she'd accept.
"Ok. Dinner sounds good. I mean we have to eat. We might as well do so together." Rory was finally able to choke out.
Jess felt relief flood his system, "I'll pick you up at 6:30."
Turning to the man working the coffee cart he said, "Could I get two blueberry muffins?"
While Jess paid for them (refusing the change) Rory looked at him wondering why he was suddenly ordering two muffins that she knew he wouldn't eat. He just smiled and handed her the bag with the muffins. "To help hold you over until dinner. We don't want you dropping dead of starvation, now do we?"
Shocked she looked Jess in the eyes, "You remembered blueberry's my favorite?"
"Of course, Gilmore. I remember a lot of things." He said quietly with a wink. Then turned and began walking away.
When he was a few feet away he turned around and called back. "I'll see you at 6:30."
He kept walking knowing Rory was staring after him. The thought put a smile on his face.
Was it a date? Was it just friends catching up? Rory couldn't decide. She needed to get to her dorm to start getting ready. Already she was cataloging her clothing choices.
Rory didn't even bother to look up when Logan perched on the side of her desk.
"Well, that is a look of great determination."
She didn't have time for this! On any other day Rory would have made time for him but, after seeing Logan with that other girl and running into Jess she just wasn't in the mood.
Trying to cut Logan off without being rude she quickly responded, "Yes, I am determined to finish this piece before my coffee buzz wears off. And I have about 30 seconds left."
When Logan remained quiet, she was hopeful that the situation had been handled. Until she heard him say, "So…"
Taking a page from Jess' book she just repeated Logan's, "So…"
Logan sighed, "Did I see you on State Street with…"
'He can't even finish the thought. Coward!' "Yea." She said keeping her response short and simple.
"Right so, you saw me on State Street with…"
"Yup." Logan just wasn't getting the hint.
"So…"
Again all Rory could think to say was, "So…"
"Are we still good?" 'She's barely even looking at me. There must be something wrong.' Logan didn't want Rory to be upset with him. He hadn't been lying when he told her she was special.
"Absolutely." Rory said a little too brightly, looking up at him for the first time with a false smile.
"Really?" She didn't sound good but, he wanted to believe her.
"Logan, we both agreed, no strings attached, remember?" Smilingly looking up at him again.
Logan was shocked. "I remember. I was just checking to see how well you remember."
Trying to keep the fake smile on her face Rory answered, almost sarcastically, "I remember perfectly."
That sounded like a conversation ender. Maybe this would finally be over and she could focus.
"Well, hey that's good to hear. So…" Logan wanted her full attention. He just wanted to be sure that things truly were good between them.
"Oh, we're not going to do this 'so' thing again are we?" Rory had to hand it to Jess. He may be a one syllable guy but at least it wasn't the same syllable.
"No promise. No more 'so's. Would you be willing to take an 'umm'?" He tried to joke.
"Depends where's this leading?" 'Hopefully to the end of this talk so she could go get ready', Rory silently added.
"Umm are you busy or do you feel like grabbing a cup of coffee?" Rory could almost feel the over confidence radiating from Logan.
"Well, to use your new word… Umm I'm sorry but I actually have plans. Maybe some other time?" Rory said while gathering her things and moving towards the exit.
"Oh plans, Ace? Maybe you could include me in those plans. I haven't seen you in a while." Logan was a little thrown off. Rory had never turned him down. She'd always made time for him.
"As fun as that sounds my friend is in town and we have a lot of catching up to do." Rory said, trying to let him down gently.
"Oh, I'll just call you tomorrow, I guess." Logan called out to her as she was almost out the door. He felt the need to say something, anything, to get her attention.
"Sounds good!" Rory said over her shoulder. Her mind already on the evening ahead.
At exactly 6:30 Rory heard the knock on her door. Even though she knew who would be standing there she couldn't help how her heart dropped at the sight of Jess. He'd changed into a still casual outfit but slightly nicer than just the jeans he had been wearing earlier. Rory also noticed he was holding one hand behind his back.
"Jess, you're on time."
"And bearing coffee." He smiled, bringing a large cup of coffee from behind his back.
"Oh, coffee, how I've missed you!" Rory quickly grabbed the cup. After taking a sip she breathed, "Heaven."
Jess couldn't take his eyes off of Rory. She was amazing. "So…"
"Oh, God, not this 'so' word again." Rory groaned.
"Huh?" Jess looked at her, confused.
"I've heard the 'so word way too many times today. I just can't take it anymore." Rory laughed a little, thinking of her earlier stilted conversation with Logan.
Jess remembered the Gilmore rambling. He hadn't realized how much he liked it until he wasn't around it anymore. He would never admit this Rory or he would never live it down.
"K. We'll just have to come up with something else. Hmmm, how does 'hungry' work?" Jess played along.
Rory sipped her coffee, savoring the bitter taste. "Always hungry. Don't you know anything about me?" She teased with a smile.
"A few things about you do stick in the mind. Your black hole of a stomach only being one of them."
They were bantering, flirtatiously again. The tension was easing. It was always like this for them. After a few moments of awkwardness, they would settle into their old ways. Joking and laughing. He could even see her start relaxing.
"Ok. Where should we eat?" Rory was amazed. Jess was here. And they weren't fighting, it was almost like a dream.
"Well, I'd prefer not going someplace with food in the title."
"Meaning?" Rory asked confused.
Jess chuckled and explained. "Olive, Chili, Soup. No gardens. No plantations."
Nodding, Rory said, "Got it. Something funkier."
"I'm sure we can find something. Come on." Jess held out his hand to Rory when she put her hand in his. Jess could swear he felt the electricity shoot up his arm. She still had that power over him.
"Walk or drive?" Jess asked, just trying to keep the conversation going.
"You mean that crappy old car is still running?" Rory asked in a shocked tone. She was sure that thing would have rolled over and died, fallen apart or disintegrated in the slightest storm.
"It was when I sold it. Got a new one a few months ago."
"Oh, wow! You cold your car?! Sad. I'm going to miss that old girl." Rory teased while playfully elbowing him in the ribs.
Jess put his arm around her shoulders pulling her a little closer. "Well, times they have to change or the world would get boring. Predictable. You wouldn't want that now would you?
The playful banter continued all the way to a restaurant they found while walking. Once they were sitting across from each other everything seemed to shift.
The two of them were thinking too much. Jess knew he had to break the silence. "How about we get the elephant out of the way, so we can go back to having a good time?"
"Sounds good." Rory was relieved she wasn't the only one feeling a little awkward. Jess always had the tendency to make her jumpy. It was good to know she had a similar effect on him.
"The last time you saw me, I was a mess. You were right to turn me down, Rory." Jess said quietly, leaning forward slightly.
Rory blushed but kept her eyes steady on Jess' face. "I just don't understand… You tell me you love me and run away. Months go by, no phone calls, no letters, no smoke signals or fruit baskets, to quote you. Then you show up begging me to run away with you. Why, Jess, why?"
"To be fair, I didn't run away after I said I love you. I drove-"
"Jess!"
"Joke! I just - Rory, I never should have done those things. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so sorry."
"That still doesn't explain why, Jess?"
Rory was not going to make this easy he was really going to have to open up here. "I don't even know what I was thinking, except that I missed you and wanted to try and make things work between us."
After a few moments for the pair to collect their thoughts Rory asked, "Jess, why are you doing this now? I mean telling me all of this, apologizing, showing up here? It's just not in your usual play book."
Almost whispering Rory had to strain to hear him over the noise of the other people in the restaurant. "I figured if I ever wanted to try and salvage any kind of relationship with you, I had to get my shit together and actually be open and honest with you… I'm really trying here, Rory." He reached across the table to clasp one of her hands in his.
"I see that, but Jess-", but whatever Rory was about to say was cut off by the waitress taking their orders. Before she could start again Jess jumped in.
"Just, please, give me a chance. No running away speech. No begging. Just me simply asking. Rory I want you in my life. I miss you."
A few moments passed in what could only be considered a stunned silence before Jess chuckled and said, "There, now I'm all out of planned speeches. All I have left to say is, Think about it, please."
Rory was speechless. Jess was here. Saying all the things she's wished he had said a year ago. He had actually thought this out. He had planned this.
"Ok I'll think about it." Rory said after a beat.
"Good. Tell me about life at Yale?"
They passed the rest of the evening talking about everything. Just like old times. Rory was beginning to realize how much she missed having Jess in her life.
After they'd finished dessert Rory realized, while they'd talked about everything having to do with her, they'd barely touched on his life.
When they walked back to her place she asked all in one breath. "Jess, tell me what you're doing now? Do you work? Do you go to school? Where do you live? Have you talked to Luke? Does he know you're here?-"
"Whoa, slow down!" Jess said holding up his hands. Then he counted out on his fingers the answers to all her questions.
"One. Yes, I work. How else do you think I make money…You know what, don't answer that." He smiled at her knowing the many options her mind could think up.
Then he continued, "Two. I'm not in college, yet. Three, I live in Philly at the moment. Four, Yes, I still talk to Luke. We're nowhere near how much you and your mother talk but we have the occasional phone call. To answer you're last question. No, Luke, doesn't know I'm here, yet."
Jess was in no way surprised that she rambled. Or had so many questions. He was however surprised that it took her this long to ask them. Perhaps time and Yale had mellowed her.
Rory smiled at him and he know he would do anything in his power to keep that smile there.
"But you're going to tell him?" She pressed.
"He's my next stop." Jess nodded
Suddenly they were in front of her dorm. Neither really wanted the evening to end. It had been magical. They seemed to be actually working towards…something stable. Both were afraid time and distance would break this spell.
Jess wanted to ask if he could come in. But that was something the 'old Jess' would ask. Yet, he couldn't seem to make himself leave either. So he stood silently in front of Rory's door looking at her while she told him a story about Paris' latest antics. He wasn't actually listening. He was just watching her talk, enjoying the way her face lit up.
Rory finally stopped rambling. She knew she was trying to drag out this good-bye. She was afraid that if they ended the evening, all this would be over. And she wouldn't see Jess for another year. She wasn't ready to handle that again.
All she could think to say was, "So…"
Jess laughed, "And here I thought that word was forbidden."
Rory blushed and looked down at her shoes, "You're right, how could I have forgotten."
Jess knew exactly what Rory was trying to work up the nerve to ask. He put his finger under her chin to force her eyes to his. He wanted Rory to see this wasn't a flat out rejection. "Rory, as much as I would love you to ask me to come in. I'm not going to. Not tonight, at least."
Rory couldn't stop herself from asking, "Why?"
Smiling, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, Jess took a small step towards her. Making the space between their bodies a mere inches. He almost whispered, "I'm taking my time here. No rushing."
Rory could have sworn Jess was going to kiss her. Closing her eyes, she could almost taste his lips feel them pressing against hers. That must have been why she was shocked when she felt them on her forehead rather than her lips.
"Lunch… tomorrow?" Jess asked taking a step back.
"Two meals in two days?" She asked with a raised brow.
"What time should I be here?"
"My classes are done at one." Rory was stunned. Jess was making plans. He was taking his time.
"I'll be by the coffee cart, hot beverage in hand." He smiled at her.
Jess leaned over and kissed her cheek. Just to feel the connection one more time before he walked away.
Rory would never know how difficult it was for jess to walk away. He know starting this was going to be hard. He was basically was starting from scratch, while still trying to make up for the past. Jess would have to be just pushy enough to get in her space often, yet still distant enough to show that he wasn't just trying to barge in and take over. It was a thin line.
When Jess was gone and Rory had finally settled her nerves she thought of how wonderful the night had been. Jess was amazing. Something seemed changed about him. Almost like he had made peace with himself. Dropped the 'hate the world' attitude.
Rory was so lost in thought she almost didn't see the blinking light on the message machine.
'Hey Ace! Just calling to see if we could get together tomorrow. I'm starting to miss you. Call me!' Logan's disembodied voice filled the common room.
Rory sighed. Somehow one dinner with Jess had made her begin to re-evaluate this whole 'no strings attached' thing.
Jess parked his car and looked into his uncle's diner. It hadn't changed at all. In his teenage years just the thought of Stars Hollow would make his skin crawl. But after two years he'd begun to miss this town's crazy people, shin digs, and To Kill A Mockingbird-esque meetings.
It was always fun to see Luke deal with Kirk, Taylor or even Lorelai when she was on a tangent. He was actually looking forward to the gossip of the town 'hoodlum returning'. Maybe they'd have another town meeting to try and ban him. That could be interesting.
The second Jess walked into the diner all conversation stopped, heads turned. Then the whispering started. Shaking his head he decided to just take a seat and wait for Luke to notice him.
Though it didn't take long, Jess still heard a few snippets of the town talk. 'never over her…looks grown up… staying?…Lorelai's going to be mad!…"
"Jess!" Luke jumped and almost dropped the plates he had been carrying from the kitchen. Luke put the plates on the counter and rushed around to greet Jess.
"Luke." Jess returned in the same time while standing up. They'd actually reached a point in their relationship where greetings no longer included yelling.
"What are you doing here?" Luke asked after a short non-girly hug.
"I'm here on business. All above board and such. Just looking for a place to crash."
"Apartments still upstairs." Luke tilted his head toward the curtain that led to the staircase.
"Huh. Would have never guessed." It was the same type of comment he would have said years ago. This time with a smile instead of a scowl.
"So, how long are you back for?" asked grabbing one of the bags Jess had dropped by the door. Luke didn't want to get his hopes up. He knew how much Jess hated this town but, he could help how happy seeing his nephew made him.
"We'll see." Was all Jess said with a small smirk. Before going upstairs he looked around at all the people in the diner and the town. 'Well', He thought to himself, 'I'm back.'
A/N: Let me know guys! I like reviews. I'm editing the old chapters to repost as we speak while I'm working on the new stuff. There will be some changes in the reposting!