A/N: I told myself I wouldn't upload this story until I finished it, but I couldn't resist.

Here's a lighthearted, fun story all about friendship, love, and insanity!

Everyone is a bit OOC, but I think it's funny.

Enjoy!

Happy Reading! :D

Hi, I'm Hermione Jean Granger, former Gryffindor, bushy-haired, bossy, and can kick some ass if need be. Well here I am, staring at a red faced Ginny whom I just admitted the truth to, and it's the whole truth this time, not some half assed story that made no sense about halfway through. Sure she's livid, but, I mean, I chuckled because it is a funny story if you see it from the right perspective. I know she'll look back on this and thank me. She has to because I made her the happiest she's ever been, she just doesn't know it yet.

I could explain the story to you, because I think you should laugh as well, and I need someone to appreciate how awesome I am, but I'm not sure if seeing it from my point of view is fair.

Switching to 3rd person…

Well, hello! I'm the narrator of this…fine tale. I don't have a particular name, and that shouldn't matter because you are here to listen to a story about love, happiness, hermits, and being forced into the muggle world.

I suppose Hermione has already given away too much at this point and we need to back track a bit so here we go!

Here we are in the United States of America, Flowery Branch, Georgia to be exact. You must be asking yourself why would Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and Draco Malfoy be doing here, and they have a combination of the ministry and war to blame. After the completion of the war, they are horrorstruck with the war, battles, and death so the Ministry offered them a way out. A trip to the other side of the pond, a place to live, work, and they're away from witches or wizards unless you want to count the children running around on Halloween. Five years they've been here. But you would think they were from a completely foreign country if you met them on the street.

We are currently two weeks into the start of a new school year as well.

So I suppose you've had enough background information. Let's get this show on the road…

"Ginny, we need to hurry if we're going to meet the boys and go to the animal shelter." Ginny turns and glares at Hermione who drops her keys on the ground. "Whoa, who pissed in your cornflakes?"

"Hermione, it's seven in the damn morning."

"Yea, we've got to get crack-a-lackin' if we're going to find a good dog."

"What student taught you that one?" Ginny rolled her eyes and continued pouring her cereal.

"Jacob. He's weird, but he said its hip and that I should be hip." Hermione leaned down to pick up her keys when the doorbell rang, so she dropped them again. "Damn it." She muttered when she went to the front door, abandoning the keys.

Ginny picked them up and set them on the counter before sitting at the breakfast table that Hermione insisted they buy. She wouldn't tell her, but she loved the table.

"Oh, Giiiiiinnnnn!" Hermione called from the front after she closed the door. She led the two boys into the kitchen behind her and smiled widely at Ginny. "Harry's come to see you!" Ginny rolled her eyes, forcing herself not to gag at her friend.

"Hermione," Harry groaned behind her, waving sweetly at Ginny before turning back to a very happy Hermione. "You invited me and Ron over to go buy a dog."

"For Ginny…" Hermione pushed, winking at Ginny.

"Yes…" Harry breathed, looking aggravated. "Gin," he turned to look at Ginny briefly but was brought back by a squeal from Hermione.

"You called her Gin! Oh, this is fantastic!" She turned to Ron who wished for everything to not be brought into this, not at seven in the morning. "Honey, isn't this wonderful!" Ron nodded quickly, looking at Harry apologetically.

"Listen Hermione," Harry started, running his hands through his hair. "Let's just go get the dog. It's early and I really don't want to talk about this." Ginny silently thanked him and Ron was as well. Hermione looked to everyone and rolled her eyes.

"Gryffindors." She mumbled and they all looked at her like she had gone mad, and perhaps she had.

"Hey, bitch-face." Ginny called to her after she swallowed the last bit of her cereal and unwillingly put the bowl down for Crookshanks to finish up the milk. She always figured if she gave him milk, he would leave her the hell alone and worked most days. She hated that thing. "You were in Gryffindor too."

Hermione giggled at this, before patting Ron on the shoulder and heading into the living room. "Five minutes Ginny or we are not buying you that damn dog." Harry laughed and Ron went into the living room to join her. Ginny put the bowl away quickly and hugged Harry quickly knowing if Hermione saw she would die.

"Thanks for getting her to drop it." She whispered and he nodded.

"Get your ass ready, we're getting your lonely ass a dog." She laughed and started walking at a snail's pace. "I'm being serious. If you don't hurry, you're going to have made me get up at six thirty in the morning for nothing."

"Oh, Harry Potter takes thirty minutes to get ready?" Ginny pressed. "I think I'm going to start calling you Pretty-boy Potter in that case." He lunged at her but she took off for her bedroom, slamming the door. Harry shook his head and headed into the living room, plopping down on the couch next to Hermione.

"Did you not shower this morning or something?" Hermione looked at him skeptically. "She ran from you pretty fast. I mean damn, I thought you guys were at least acquaintances." Ron laughed and Harry glared.

"No, I just told her the cat was behind her." Everyone knows about Ginny's fear of cats, and everyone plays on it.

"Harry, you and I both know that is no way to get the girl." Harry rolled his eyes, hating getting lectured by her like she was his mother.

"I'm not trying to –,"

"Okay," Ginny's voice causes them all to jump. "Let's go."

They all pile into the car, Hermione in the passenger seat next to Ron, and an uncomfortable Harry and Ginny in the back. The car ride is quiet apart from the random outbursts by Hermione that no one would answer.

"So, you two lovebirds are being pretty quiet back there…" No response.

"So… Ginny how's the love life?" No response.

"Harry! I saw you flirting with that lady in the front office the other day…" No response.

Hermione give up with a grunt and sinks into her seat, while everyone else wishes they were already at the adoption shelter. When they finally arrived they all jumped excitedly out of the car and rushed to the doors. They were obviously the first people here besides the workers and that made Hermione happy. They were led back to the kennels, Ginny nearly hyperventilating because they had to pass a room filled with cats, and they browsed amongst the animals freely.

Harry would find a dog and they would pull it out, hoping it would work out when they played with it, but he didn't entertain Ginny. Ron would usher a dog out, but he wasn't a big dog like Ginny wanted. Hermione insisted on a cat to keep Crookshanks company and Ginny warded her off with a death glare. Ginny was nearly defeated when she stumbled on a golden retriever mix who seemed happy and content inside his cage, no annoying barking like the others. She got him out and they played ball and rough housed a bit. Before Hermione and Ginny knew it they were signing the paper work and giving up their money for a new member of the family.

He jumped right into the car and they all joined him.

"So," Ginny piped up after they rolled off the lot. "I want to name him Narwal, what do you guys think?" Harry looked disgusted by the name, Hermione and Ron rolled their eyes both thinking, "Typical Ginny."

"How about…" Hermione thought for a minute but came up with nothing so she turned on the radio. This being her car, it was set to the most ridiculous music channels she could find and currently No Hands by Waka Flocka was playing. "That's it!" Hermione screamed. "Waka Flocka Flame! Ugh it's perf!" Ginny rolled her eyes at her best friends attempt at being hip and fitting in with her oh so diverse students, but that name was not going to fly with her.

"No," Harry barked, satisfying Ginny's needs to shoot the name down herself. "Just name it Jack or something." Ginny looked horrified at the absolutely boring name, and Hermione gave him a look.

"I am not going to think of the freaking Titanic every time I look at that dog. Waka Flocka Flame it is!" Hermione seemed pleased with herself and Ginny looked at her like she had gone off the deep end.

"I'm not going to think of a rapper when I look at the dog, so Narwal it is! I mean it's my damn dog any way." Hermione turned in her seat to glare at her.

"He lives with both of us so we both need to agree on the same name!" Ginny look like she was about to pounce on Hermione when Ron spoke for nearly the first time that day.

"Just pick Jack please, and get this over with. Waka Flocka Flame and Narwal are just not suitable names for a dog." Hermione glares at him. "Sorry." Ginny nods her head.

"Fine, I guess Jack's not so bad." Hermione turned quickly in her seat to look at the read head.

"You just agreed with Potter. Oh Merlin! We're naming our dog Jack because Potter wanted you to!" She turns back around in her seat to do a happy dance. "Oh Merlin, how fantastic!"

"Oh my Rowling, Hermione we aren't going to get together." Harry and Ginny both scream at her and she rolls her eyes.

Review for my truly crazy characters?