It has been a while hasn't it?

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

Carlisle's POV

I had just gotten through the door after my late night shift at the hospital when Emmett appeared out of nowhere. Now as far as I was aware, Alice and Rosalie had taken their niece, Renesmee out to the mall to spoil her with new clothes followed by a movie, to give Bella and Edward some time alone. So when Emmett stood in front of me, looking unusually concerned as well as the worry on the face my wife wore, It wasn't difficult to work out why.

"Where is he?" I asked either one.

"In your study, hiding underneath your desk. He won't let anybody near him" Emmett answered.

It had come to my attention that it was usually when Jasper was without Alice that something bad happened. Whether it was out of coincidence or generally because she kept him at ease so much that it had a positive effect on him mentally, I wasn't sure; but either way, Alice wasn't here, leaving it to somebody else to comfort him.

Although throughout the years, Jasper has been more at ease with his family, flashbacks of his past still effected him. Not as much as they used to but they still happen; which saddens me. I know they would never disappear completely; they seldom do in those with PTSD, something I believed Jasper clearly had.

"Is he being aggressive?"

A question I always have to ask at times like these. More often than not, Jasper remained frightened as the flashbacks took place; seemingly harmless as he tries to go unnoticed but there are also times where we innocently try to help him come back to us, only to scare him into defending himself which usually ends in one of us being pinned or bitten.

"Not yet. He's growling but I just think he's scared" Esme answered this time.

I nodded, deciding that it was best to remain cautious; the usual method when dealing with Jasper. I headed up to the second floor, where my study was, and opened the door slowly. Just like I was told, the sound of my presence had him growling but I couldn't quite see him yet.

Shutting the door behind me, I walked further into my study and walked around my desk, where I spotted Jasper crouched in between the two sets of drawers; where ones legs are suppose to tuck under when sitting at the desk.

His teeth were bared at me but he struggled to maintain eye contact as he pushed his back further against the wood of my desk. I guess he viewed me as a figure that he wouldn't appear submissive at.

"It's alright, son" I murmured lightly as I remained a safe distance back.

Unfortunately there wasn't much any of us could do while Jasper was like this other than make sure that he didn't end up hurting himself while waiting for him to come out of it. The time it takes varies. Sometimes lasting minutes, most of them hours and in some extreme cases, days.

It made us feel helpless but there wasn't exactly a manual written on what to do when a vampire is having a flashback, though for obvious reasons, they were much more dangerous than when the humans get them.

The phone in my pocket began to ring, bringing out a hiss from Jasper, then returning back to growling once I answered to stop the noise. I wasn't surprised to find that it was Alice who called.

"I didn't see this happening. Do you want me home?"

"No, that's not necessary. Whether you're here or not, Jasper wont notice. Just stay with Rosalie and keep an eye on Renesmee. I'll stay with him. Jasper will be fine" I assured her.

"Okay" she sighed.

I could hear the hesitation in her voice although she knew he was in good hands.

"Just don't let yourself get hurt. He'll feel awful about it later" she told me.

This much was true. The last time I had gotten bitten during one of his flashbacks, he was unable to look me in the eye for a whole 2 weeks. I knew he hated the scars he wore and didn't want to burden anyone else by putting marks in there skin.

Understandable, but he couldn't help it when he was like this. When Alice ended the call, I looked back at Jasper who was still growling lightly but his eyes were on the ground submissively.

"I wish I knew a better way to help you when you're like this" I murmured.

Jasper seemed to have stopped growling, and almost as if he understood what I said, he licked his lips, moved out from underneath the desk and cautiously moved closer to me. He appeared to be nervous as he got nearer but I remained as still as possible so that I wouldn't startle him. It wasn't usual for Jasper to approach one of us while caught up in a flashback but no two flashbacks were the same with him although up until now, he was either aggressive or too frightened that he kept his distance from us.

My theory was that he wasn't in a fight, nor was he being hurt by his creator but was in fact with somebody whom he wanted to seek comfort from; Peter perhaps. It would explain why he seemed more afraid of his surroundings than he was with me. Although that doesn't mean to say he wasn't afraid of me at all because it was clear to me that he was shaken up.

Perhaps the reason he seemed to want comforting was because he had been hurt by Maria in ways that only I could imagine.

Very slowly, Jasper leaned his forehead against my chest and closed his eyes. It was very silent and I so badly wanted to put a gentle hand on him; to give him some kind of gesture to let him know that I was there for him and that I cared but I was afraid that it would scare the skittish teen away.

It was only when he nudged my chest with his head and let out a small whine that I realized that physical comfort was what he wanted. I went ahead and put a very gentle hand on his back, which he seemed to relax into. Assured by this, I then rested my chin on top of his head; now in a position that was the closest Jasper and I had ever come to hugging one another although only one of us were aware of it happening.

"Your mind may go through hell occasionally but just know that you're with family now. We love and care about you. We're not gonna let you get hurt here" I whispered to him.

Though it was unlikely that he could hear me, I just needed something to fill the silence. And then something did. The sound of light purring, a tell tale sign that Jasper was at ease. Like physical contact, this noise that was coming from Jasper was extremely rare to anyone other than Alice. It was almost as if the sound of my voice was calming him. Could he actually hear me? In this flash back he was having, could he hear my voice? Perhaps this time, talking to him could aid in bringing him out of his past.

"You know you always seem to think that you are a burden here; that you're doing nothing but causing problems but that's not the way I see it, Jasper. It's moments like these that bring the father out in me. I love that I created this family but this responsibility I feel for you; especially when you need me like this, gives me a real taste of what it's like to be a father. I'm really glad that you are a part of this family, Jazz" I told him quietly.

I must admit, when first walking into my office, I hadn't quite envisioned it ending up with me sitting on the carpet by the desk, holding my nervous son and I certainly didn't expect what happened next...I felt a sudden grip on the back of my shirt where Jasper gripped it with his hand tightly; his head still tucked under me. His purring had come to a stop and he began to show clear signs of distress.

"They're gonna hurt me. I don't want them to hurt me" he whimpered, in a panic.

I held him tighter as he panicked over whatever he was seeing, in hope that it would help make him feel a little more secure.

"Shh, it's alright. I won't let them hurt you. Just stay with me, okay?" I assured him.

"Okay" he mumbled back as he pressed his head more firmly into my chest.

So that's how we left it. Sat in my study, holding my son in my arms as he clung to me for safety from his invisible demons. I wasn't sure how long we stayed like this, in silence; the only sound filling the air was his occasional whines and growls of frustration as he begged his enemies away but simply rubbing his back and whispering assurances in his ear quietened him down a little.

It was only when his body loosened up and his head pulled away from my chest to look around the room when I realized that he had come out of his flashback.

"Jasper? Are you with me?" I checked.

His ears twitched ever so slightly but it took him a moment or two to respond by turning his head in my direction and meeting my gaze.

"Yeah...yeah, I'm with you" he whispered, uncertainly, sounding exhausted.

I had thought that as soon as he was out of his flashback, he would have let go of me completely and move away in embarrassment at how close he had been to me but instead, he remained calm and his arm remained where it was, with his hand still gently touching my back.

"I didn't hurt anyone, did I?" He asked, softly.

A question asked every time he returned back to reality; and every time he found out that he had, Jasper would suffer days of self-loathing but today I was happy to let him know that he had nothing to worry about.

"No, you didn't. Everybody's fine" I assured him.

He let out a sigh of relief as he replaced his head back on my chest again. He sure was full of surprises today.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, a gentle reminder that he had just had a flashback and I had reason to be concerned.

"Yeah" He answered very quietly.

The two of us heard a car pull into the driveway and I could tell that it was Alice when I saw the way Jasper raised his nose to take in the sweet scent. That was when he finally decided to pull away from my hold so that he could see to his mate. He stood up and headed to the door but before he opened it, he turned back to me.

"Umm...thanks for uh...Looking after me like that. It felt nice" he said shyly.

"Good, I'm glad I could help. And you know that if you need to talk, whether its about what happened today or whatever may happen later, I'm always here for you" I told him.

He let out a nervous grin and nodded his head before hurrying out my office. I was left with a smile on my face; suddenly feeling a little closer to my most closed off son. Maybe there is still a chance that I would receive a general hug in the future. One that would express love rather than just security but right now, I was more than happy with the gesture I just received.

It may seem like nothing to others but this way huge with Jasper.

It was more progress.

We would get there eventually.

I'm aware that this isn't my best piece of writing but the idea was bugging me while i was at work and I just had to write it down.

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