After an exciting whirlwind romance that would no doubt make a very good story (just not this one) Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray finally decided to get together and become girlfriends two months and 12 days ago (Rachel Berry being Rachel Berry she meticulously documented their entire courtship). However it had only been a couple of weeks since they decided to let anyone outside of Glee know that they were dating. Most could hardly believe the news. Jacob Ben Israel nearly fainted the day he saw them holding hands and quickly kiss before Spanish class, but was able to pull it together enough to update his blog regardless.
Rachel and Quinn were too enraptured by their relationship's honeymoon to even notice the incredulous stares. On this particular day they were so wrapped up in each other that Quinn only had a split second to decide what to do when she saw Dave Karofsky and his slushie of malevolent intent headed straight for them. By instinct, Quinn stepped in front of Rachel and shielded her from the icy torture.
Dave only laughed and said, "Haha, whoops," as he quickly walked away. Rachel glared at Karofsky's retreating form, but then quickly turned to check on Quinn. Quinn felt quite frozen in place by the shock of the icy confection on her skin.
"Are you alright?" Rachel's face full of concern.
"I'm fine, Rachel." Quinn shivered, betraying her words. "I just feel stupid."
"Whatever for?" Rachel cocked her head to the side.
"Well I stepped in front of you to save you from the slushie, but I completely forgot that I don't have a change of clothes." Quinn frowned and ineffectually kicked at the ground.
"It was sweet, and very chivalrous of you." Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand and pulled the frown from her girlfriend's face.
"Well thank you, but now I'm going to have to go the rest of the day in sticky clothes." Quinn then saw Rachel square her shoulders and take a deep breath which is something that she did right before delivering a big speech. It always gave Quinn a twinge of dread. She braced herself for the craziness sure to spout from her girlfriend's mouth.
"Quinn, as you know I always do my best to stay well prepared for whatever the day might bring, be it slushy attack or freak thunderstorm. I've got a change of clothing you can certainly borrow."
"I dunno Rach..."
"What? Are my clothes not good enough for you?" Rachel immediately dropped Quinn's hand and got all scrunchy-faced and upset.
"No, I think your clothes are cute." Quinn punctuated her statement by affectionately poking the tip of Rachel's nose. "I'm just worried they might not fit."
*dramatic gasp!* "You're not calling me fat are you?"
"What? No of course not. It's just that..."
"What?"
"You're kind of..." Quinn searched for the right words.
"What?" Rachel said more annoyed this time.
"Teensy." These were decidedly not the right words. Rachel's scrunchy face got even scrunchier.
"Awwhaha, don't pout, baby," Quinn said as she rocked Rachel back and forth by her waist. "What I meant to say is that I'm a giant monster of a girl who will probably not fit in your perfectly-sized clothing." Quinn kissed the spot where Rachel's eyebrows had furrowed and Rachel's face immediately eased into a beaming smile. Rachel stared into Quinn's hazel eyes for a second before responding.
"I just adore you."
"Well, I am pretty adorable." Quinn said, then leaned in to kiss her girlfriend.
"Ugh, barf." Santana remarked with disgust as she walked up to the couple.
Quinn groaned, centimeters away from Rachel's face. "Hi, Santana"
"Ew, you're all...syrupy." Santana said, affecting her best bitch face and gesturing to the blue mess that still covered Quinn.
Brittany quickly and affectionately licked Quinn's cheek. "I like it."
"Thanks for the help, Brittany" Quinn said, laughing.
"It's lovely seeing you two, but you must come along, now Quinn. We've missed enough class. You're wearing my change of clothing and that's final." Rachel hooked Quinn's arm to lead them away.
"Hahaha." Santana doubled over. "You're going to wear Berry's OshKosh B'gosh gear? Good luck with that, Tiny Dancer."
Quinn saw Rachel open her mouth to respond to Santana's snark, but pulled her away before Rachel's rant left her stuck in cold, wet clothing for any longer. "Rach, let's go. It'll be fine."
Quinn and Rachel took the rest of the class period cleaning Quinn up, getting Quinn changed, and calculating how much time they had left to fool around before the next passing period. Rachel's clothes ended up fitting for the most part but the blouse left Quinn's midriff exposed and the already short skirt was decidedly...shorter on Quinn. This left Quinn pretty self conscious and she kept tugging at her blouse to pull it down over her stomach (which unwittingly only ended up revealing more of her cleavage). Quinn definitely noticed this time around that all eyes were on her in the hallway.
"Nice outfit, Fabray." Some random jock said lustily.
"Thanks?"
"Daaayum." Another boy said while giving her a quick up/down with his eyes. Quinn became even more uncomfortable. Rachel was a little flabbergasted as well. She knew her girlfriend was gorgeous, but why the sudden fan club?
"Um. This...is...weird." Quinn admitted. "Everyone keeps staring at me. And catcalling. I might have seen drool."
"It's probably because you look mega super ultra hot." Brittany walked up to the two girls. This was her way of saying "Hello".
"Huh?" Quinn looked down at her outfit.
"It's like naughty schoolgirl." Brittany said, prodding and playing with Quinn's borrowed clothing.
"It's what I wear all the time!" Rachel was taken aback.
"Okay, naughtier schoolgirl then." Brittany said while turning her head to the side and being very obvious about checking out Quinn's body.
"Yeah. It's like, scandalously short, Q." Santana said, walking up and joining pinkies with Brittany.
"Way sexy" Brittany said, leaning around to stare at Quinn's ass.
"Really?" Quinn blushed and smoothed down the edges of her skirt. Rachel grunted in disapproval.
"What's wrong?" Quinn said to Rachel, concerned.
"It's just that I wear that stuff all the time, and no one thinks I'm mega super ultra hot." Rachel said frowning and crossing her arms.
"Well I do."
"You don't count." Rachel half-mumbled.
"You're all pouty again," Quinn said smiling. "You're so cute when you're all pouty."
"Not helping." Rachel's frown deepened and she turned her head away from Quinn.
"Aww, look how pouty you are. You're so cute I want to nom on you like a dinosaur. RAWR! Nom nom nom!" Quinn bent down to tickle Rachel's sides and playfully nibble at her shoulder.
"Hahaha, Quinnnn. Stoooop." Rachel said in a way that clearly meant 'keep going'.
"Seriously. Stop." Santana deadpanned. Quinn relented and stepped back with an easy smile on her face.
"I'll have to admit. You do look pretty attractive that way, Quinn." Rachel said, checking Quinn out herself.
"You're only saying that because my ass is hanging out."
"It's certainly a perk."
Quinn smirked at the comment and lightly shoved Rachel's shoulder.
The rest of the day went mostly without incident. There were still stares from most of the students (as well as some of the sketchier members of the faculty) but Quinn no longer felt self-conscious. Quinn, Santana, and Brittany had just rounded the corner of the hallway to meet Rachel at her locker before glee when they saw it happen.
*Splash* "Payback. Biotch." Karofsky slushied Rachel and high-fived another caveman jock. In an instant Quinn was there and tapped on his shoulder from behind.
"Hey Karofsky." Quinn swiftly kneed Karofsky in the crotch *Oof!* and then punched him square in the nose *Crack!*.
"Fuck!" Dave said, gripping at his now bloody nose.
"Try anything like that again Karofsky, and I won't be so nice."
"That was nice? I think you broke my nose!"
"But you still have your life. Thus, nice. Later, ass-face." Quinn then went to Rachel and quickly led her away from the small crowd that had formed.
"Well this is just perfect. I only prepared for one slushy attack. I don't have a contingency plan for this." Rachel said, wiping at the syrup dripping down her sleeves.
"Come with me, Rachel. I know just what to do." Before Rachel could protest, Brittany dragged her off.
"Where are they going?" Quinn asked arching her eyebrow.
"I have no idea." Santana hooked her arm with Quinn's and they walked to rehearsal together.
Twenty minutes later, Rachel and Brittany walked into glee. The collective gasps of the club seemed to suck all of the air out of the room. Mike finally broke the silence.
"Oh my god. It's like some sort of bizarro, alternate universe."
"Nah dude, if it were they'd have goatees like in Star Trek." Matt replied.
"I think I'm having a stroke" Kurt quickly put two fingers to his pulse and looked at his watch.
Artie took off his classes and cleaned them to make sure he wasn't seeing things.
"That is just...wrong."
Rachel was wearing a WMHS cheerios uniform. Her hair wasn't in the signature high ponytail, but the sight of her in cheerio red and white was devastating nonetheless.
"Is this opposite day? Why didn't anyone tell me? And why are Quinn and Rachel the only ones participating?" Finn said in his perpetually confused Finn way.
"Well, Rachel got slushied by Karofsky and then Quinn beat him up but Rachel didn't have any more clothes because she already loaned hers to Quinn because Karofsky slushied her earlier by accident and I know where Coach Sylvester keeps the spare uniforms so I gave one to Rachel!" Brittany said with pride (and one breath).
"Okay...well, anywho we ought to get back to work, people." As Mr. Schue started to drone on about...something, Rachel and Brittany took their seats. Puck leaned forward to whisper in Rachel's ear.
"You know, Rach you look really hot in that uniform. I know you're with Quinn right now but..." Quinn cut off Puck with a smack to the back of his mohawk.
"Do not even go there, Puckerman." Quinn then possessively put her arm around Rachel. Puck retreated and patted his head to make sure his mohawk was alright.
"Now, now Quinnie, Noah does have a point. I do look kind of hot. Several boys on the soccer team made sure to tell me so as Brittany and I were walking from the locker rooms."
"What? Which ones?" Quinn growled and shuffled to stand up, but Rachel held onto her shoulder.
"Down, girl. While I am extremely flattered, and surprisingly a little aroused by your primal urge to defend my honor, you've had enough violent outbursts for today, young lady." Rachel said as she snaked her hand through Quinn's wavy hair, gently massaging the back of her neck to calm her.
"Fine...no more ass whuppins today. Boo." Quinn sighed. "I can't really be mad at Puck or the soccer team though. The uniform does enhance your super mega ultra hotness." Quinn said, tracing a finger down the front of the uniform.
"Don't get any ideas, Quinn Fabray. I hardly have the time to become a cheerio between my current regiment of vocal and dance lessons as well as my involvement in several other clubs on campus, not to mention my volunteer work-" Quinn put her finger to Rachel's lips to press the pause button on Rachel mid-ramble.
"I wasn't suggesting you join the cheerios. I just wanted to let you know that you look crazy hot like that...and that maybe you shouldn't return the uniform." Quinn said with a shrug. Rachel grabbed Quinn's finger and removed it from her lips.
"You're acting like a pervy old man." Rachel said in a mockingly stern voice.
Quinn smirked and wiggled her eyebrows. "You like it."
"That is exactly what a pervy old man would say."
"He'd also probably do this." Quinn leaned over to kiss her girlfriend, but Rachel pulled back. "What's wrong? Did the super perv thing stop being funny?"
"Well Quinn, as cute as you are in my clothes, this feels a little bit like I'd be making out with myself. Even I'm not that much of an egomaniac."
"But I wanna kiss youuuuu." Quinn got all whiny.
"Now who's all pouty?" Rachel said with at laugh. "Look Quinn. You'll get your wish soon enough," Rachel's face bore a mischievous grin. "We just have to get you out of those pesky clothes first." Rachel said with a wink.
"Now who's pervy?"
"Moi. But don't act like you won't be excited for glee club to adjourn. I do have to thank you for defending me against Dave and probably preventing any future slushie attacks as well." Rachel got very close to Quinn's ear to whisper the next bit "And I plan on showing you how very, very thankful I am." Rachel nipped at the end of Quinn's earlobe which elicited an involuntary whimper from Quinn's throat that sounded kind of like "mmwyhwuh".
Once she regained conscious motor function, Quinn immediately stood up to address the room. "Alrighty. Sorry, Mr. Schue but Rachel and I have to uh...do a thing at that one place so uh... we'llseeyouguystomorrowbye." Without giving Rachel any time to expound upon the virtues of staying for rehearsal, Quinn yanked Rachel out of the choir room so that she could get ravaged as soon as possible.
"Bye!" Brittany said cheerfully, waving enthusiastically at the quickly retreating couple. The rest of the club could do little more than blink. Mr. Schuester finally broke the silence.
"Well. Today's been exceptionally weird, yeah? Let's just call it a day folks."