Removing the Mask
"Stop it..."
"Stop hiding..."
"Just scream..."
Walking through the hallways of Wammy's House, Mello glanced at the windows outside. It was night, in fact it's midnight; why is he up so late? By chances, he hoped everyone was asleep, including that so called number one. He was tired really but he wanted to try something; he knew stealing was wrong but who would mind if he just takes one small thing from Near?
"Something is wrong with me..."
Mello sighed, wishing he'd asked Matt's help for this. That techy gamer boy could've been an extra pair of eyes in this time of the day, but yet he's hard to communicate with when it comes to sneaky plans. He'll just have to do it alone, hoping no one else is awake and roaming the hallways. That seemed possible, due to some night owls, and they would be suspicious if they see him walking in the middle of the night since he wasn't a nighter like them.
"I can't move..."
He crept up the cafeteria and double checked to see if that little white haired boy hasn't decided to go take a late night snack. He wasn't there, which was good so that he was aware of where Near isn't and focus more on where he might be. He'll check the room last so the chance of Near creeping up on him when he checks the room would be less likely. Turning, he headed for the playroom, the next place someone of Near's type would be in the night.
"I want to see him... but I can't..."
Peeking into the playroom, Mello sighed with relief. Near wasn't there as well. Closing the door he walked off to the albino's room, now a bit more confident that he won't see him sneaking through his stuff, better yet, having him in the room as he did it. But something bothered him, how quiet it seemed when he reached the door of his rival. He just shook himself and decided it was because Near was sleeping well tonight.
With that, he pushes open the door ever so quietly...
"It hurts too much..."
Blinking at the sudden quietness inside Near's room, Mello quietly opened the door wider. He was careful with the amount of light being poured into the room as he slipped through the narrow crack he made to get in. Quickly closing the door behind him he gazed around the room, mystified on how it was almost all white, that is, leaving out the colorful toys lying on the ground.
He slowly started to walk forward, keeping his footsteps quiet as possible. Then he stopped, he didn't have to see to know this but Near wasn't asleep, actually, he knows that he was here.
Frozen on the spot he was, he stood for a few second before he slowly started to back up, his luck of bullying Near at night by stealing a toy from him was out of the question now. He headed back to the door when he heard a small gasped of pain from Near's side of the room. Curious, Mello turned and walked back to the white haired boy's bed, looking unsurely down at him.
He sat down on the bed, putting up one leg so he can easily turn to see Near, who was facing away from him, blanket covering his head. Mello placed a hand on him to shake him awake, well to get his attention since he was already awake, but he was even more confused when he touched him. Near... he's shaking...
It wasn't cold in the room, and if it was then the blanket could have kept him nice and warm. Scared a bit now, Mello pulled the blanket off of Near's head, finding himself struggling with that with Near holding so tightly onto the blanket. Pulling the blanket off finally, he blinked as Near moved away from him, was he worried he may do something bad to him? He smiled and thought that was basically it, he nudged Near a bit and whispered, "hey Near"
The boy didn't glance up, he gripped the blanket unnecessarily tightly. One hand was on his chest, grasping on painfully. His mouth opened and closed as if in attempt to say something but only came out in small whimpers. He was hurt all over, he is having a heart attack.
Mello stared blankly, if Near were having a heart attack, shouldn't he be dead by now? Should he be in pain long before he entered the room, why was he still alive?
He didn't care about that much quite yet as he shook Near, "are you alright?" he asked as if he hasn't figured that out yet.
Near's eyes were fixed on something far off in the distance as he choked out, "i-it hurts..."
Mello saw his chance, this had to go well if he were to do it right, "what are you talking about? You look fine" he teased, just like the everyday stuff.
His eyes were painful to see as he turned over, looking up at him as if he said to most craziest thing in his life. Tears are swelling in the corner of Near's eyes when he repeated, "it hurts..."
Mello helped Near into a sitting position and placed a hand on his heart. The albino winced and lowered his head so his face isn't visible, he let out a dry, silent scream as he felt his heart clench inside his chest, "it hurts!" He turned to Mello and pressed his face on his shirt, gripping hard on his shirt.
To his surprise, Mello looked at him in disgust and shoved him away, "what the hell do you think you are doing?" he shouted at Near.
Near felt his screams resurface and he bit his fingers to stop himself from screaming. He tried to pull Mello closer but he just shouted again, "get away from me you freak!" shoving him away again, but this time Near held on.
Burying his head in Mello's chest, he listened to his heart beat, it sooth him to think of someone else's heart than his own painful one. His breathing calmed down just slightly as he focused closely onto the steady drumming. Mello let him rest for a while, showing a bit of sympathy to the little boy yet confused all the same.
Then he pushed him away again, hands held firmly on his arms, but only just a small distance. Near thrashed in his arms, longing to listen to Mello's clam heart beat but his own.
Mello lowered his eyes to meet Near's, his grip strong against his shoulders, "stop it Near"
Near stopped flailing and looked blankly up at Mello, and since the pain in his chest blurred his thoughts, he was not able to understand.
Mello looked hard in Near's eyes and repeated, "stop it"
Another wave of pain pierced his heart and Near bit his tongue, he couldn't use his hands because Mello was blocking them. He forced down his tears and screams all together, covering his pain as much as he-
"Stop it Near!" Mello was shouting now, "stop hiding!"
Near whimpered at Mello, it was the only thing he could not hold down. Mello shook his head as if he did something wrong, "you've got to stop hiding"
Again a phantom bullet crossed Near's heart and he slapped his hands across his mouth, shutting out the screams. This action seemed to infuriate Mello more, he yanked the hands away, "WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN?"
Flinching at the harshness of his voice, Near slowly and reluctantly placed his hands to his side and quietly listened. Mello smiled, finally getting everything in order, "I hate you Near. Not just because you're number one, but because of how you're always so calm and collected, how you're always hiding you're emotions"
Near kept his eyes fixed on the bed sheets below him, was Mello trying to make him feel bad?
"Yet" Mello continued, "I know why you're doing that, you're scared of being hurt, you're trying to run away from that... but you're doing it all wrong" he tilted the albino's head up so they're eyes were locked, "I hate you because of that, but I don't want to. I don't want to hate you because of this, but you're always pushing me towards the same direction"
Near stared wide eyed at Mello, caught up in his next words, "I'm asking you to do me a favor, Near, stop hiding... just scream"
Near continued to look blankly at Mello, saying nothing in comment nor screaming in response. It was like teaching a new dog to do a new trick.
Mello sighed and let go of Near, "looks like it is going to take more than words" he stood up and turned to leave, Near's gaze followed him helplessly as he left for the door. He opened his mouth for words, to call him back, and let out a small, awkward scream.
This only made Mello stop, he knew that the scream was fake, it was too desperate to be a real one. He shook his head and his hands just met the doorknob when a real scream spilt the silence of the room.
Turning back to Near, Mello saw him crying out for real, screaming in pain at the top of his lungs. He couldn't help but smile, he enjoyed this boy's misery, he loved his screams of pain, it made him feel better after all those years of being pushed down to second. He did it; he took off Near's monotone mask and reveled what was underneath.
He sat down back on Near's bed, watching his tears roll down his eyes and listen to his screams of pain for a while. Then he embraced him, it was a crazy thought but it was how he could say thank you, "Near, can you hear me?"
Near closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face. His screams died down just a little bit so he can hear what Mello has to say.
Voice sly as a fox, Mello grinned, "promise me you'll never hide under that mask again. Promise me you'll scream, cry and laugh like everyone else"
Near blinked, this was not a promise he can keep, he knew that. If he were to keep this, then unhappiness will catch up to him, and tear him apart. Yet, it did feel more calming when he let go, let the emotions take over for once and not have it stuffed inside him for long, "I can't say yes"
"Then try" Mello growled, "just try"
Near sighed, his heart beating against Mello's as the final spasms of the heart attack weakened, "I promise I'll try"
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of its characters.
Please review! Any comments and notices? Type away!