The Pyramid of Slice

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, and all rights are with the respective owners.

Long ago, there was a sorcerer named Anubis. He wanted to conquer the world, but rather than do it by using sensible means, he used magic to create… Pizza. With this, he made the Pyramid of Slice, the source of all the Pizza in the world.

However, the Pharaoh learned of his plans, and was about to throw him off a cliff in a fashion similar to his doom when Anubis said,

"What did I do wrong? The pizza was good."

"Exactly. It is so irresistible, and bad for health and cheap that soon common people will become fat and obese. You must be destroyed."

"No, Pharaoh, I am your father."

"What? Really?"

"Nah, I just said it to buy some time."

"Then die!"

"Noooooo!"

A few thousand years later:

"Now, I'm finally going to beat Yugi, after all, 56th time lucky. Anyway, I don't get how I can somehow be the head of a big company and still waste my time playing cards." Kaiba said. "Now, I'm going to unnecessarily lure Yugi into the Kaiba Dome even though I could challenge him in the open."

As we all know, Yugi arrives.

Mokuba, "I don't get why I work here, doesn't me working break several Child Labour Acts? And when do I ever go to school? Anyway, Yugi, I'm trapping you here!" Of course, the doors to the Kaiba Dome are sealed.

"Isn't this like, illegal or something?" Yugi asks.

"Tell it to the writer." Kaiba replied.

"Good point, let's duel." Then, the duel proceeds with Yugi getting out the Egyptian Gods, and then the Pyramid of Slice is played.

Then, a giant pyramid made of Chesse, Sauce and bread surrounds them.

"Oh no, even the gods can't resist it!" Yugi said. As he watched, the Gods ate the endless pizza, soon becoming so plump they couldn't stand up, and then were destroyed.

Meanwhile, Joey, Tristen and the normal Yugi were sucked up inside the Millenium Puzzle. While Joey and Tristen were taking a nap, Yugi was looking for a bathroom.

"Aw man, I knew I shouldn't have let Joey talk me into taking that mega super shake. Where's the bathroom in this place?" Then, he spots Yami, who he goes after.

Then inside, the urge overcomes him and he goes in one of the coffins around the room. Just then, the mummies rise, attacking him.

"Oh no! It's from my nightmare :When toilet paper attacks!" Yugi runs off in the opposite direction, where he meets Joey and Tristen who run along with him.

Meanwhile, while the duel goes on:

"Kaiba, can't you see that this is being controlled by someone?" Yami asked.

"Haven't you learned by now that I'm a stubborn idiot who doesn't pay attention to blatantly obvious things around me."

"Okay then, I summon Obnoxious Celtic Guardian in defense mode."

"Not fair! You can't summon a monster in face-up defense position!"

"This is the Yu-Gi-Oh! Anime, since when have there been rules?"

"Good point. Now, I'll not even wait for you to end your turn and just begin mine and summon Blue Eyes Shining Dragon!"

Meanwhile, Tea and Yugi's Grandfather have arrived at the scene. Then meet up with Mokuba. Before being totally crushed, they're rescued by Pegasus.

"Woah, how did you know to come?" Tea asked.

"Actually, I was just hungry and came by the smell of that Pyramid."

"Okay, but I have to go jump in like an idiot and hope that I somehow live." She does just that, and her soul is also absorbed into the Millennium Puzzle.

Then, all of them are fighting the mummies, and the fight is filled with extremely bad zombie puns. Then, Yugi grabs a knife and throws it at the sacred gem, but misses. Then, it cracks and all of the mummies are dead.

"Wow, Yugi, how did you do that?"

"I don't know, I was aiming for the center. I knew we were going to escape, we're main characters anyway."

Then back at the duel.

"Now, my dragon's attack points are more than your wizard's." Kaiba said.

"Thank you Mr. Obvious, you finally learned 45 is more than 32." Yugi said.

"Whatever, I attack you!"

Voice in Kaiba's Head: No Kaiba.

Kaiba: Who are you?

Voice: I'm you, um, conscience.

Kaiba: Liar! Haven't you watched the rest of the series to know that I have no conscience? Now beat it!

Then, Anubis appears and throws Kaiba away. Just before he is about to defeat Yugi, he realizes something.

"Hey, what's that stain on your shirt?"
"Oh, that's a pizza stain."

"What? That means that in the end, I've won Pharaoh!" Then, he crumbles up and goes to the afterlife, his purpose completed.

After that, Kaiba continued to try to beat Yugi, 57th time lucky after all. Yugi learned that Pizza is the ultimate food.

The End.