-NEWS-

James plopped himself on the couch, glaring resentfully at the fire. Sirius, who was seated next to him, looked up in amusement, "Merlin James, what did the fire do to you?"

James ran a hand through his tousled his hair, mumbling something.

Sirius leaned forward, his eyebrows furrowing. "Sorry, I didn't catch that. What's that?"

James leaned back into the couch, covering his face with his hands. Sirius caught the words "grandmother" and "Dumbledore". Sirius's face twisted in confusion. He shook his head. "No," he decided. "You're going to have to do slightly better than that." He removed James' hands from his face, despite James' incredible strength, and held them at his side.

James was wearing an agitated expression. He cracked an eye open – Sirius hadn't realized that he had closed them. "My ... grandmother ..." Sirius was shocked at the way James whispered the word with such contempt, but told James to carry on. "My grandmother," James repeated, "is coming to visit Dumbledore."

Sirius processed this. When he couldn't come up with anything, he enquired, "And how, exactly, does that affect how many galleons you have?"

James heaved a deep sigh. He leaned his head against the couch and closed his eyes. "Sirius, you don't know my grandmother, she's worse than that bloody Divination professor what's-his-face."

Sirius stared at the flickering flames of the fire, not bothering to tell James the name of the Divination professor. He turned his head as a few fifth-year girls entered the Gryffindor Common Room. They glanced his way and giggled to themselves. Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to face James again. Thankfully, he hadn't noticed Sirius's lapse in attention.

"Why don't you elaborate?" Sirius asked intelligently.

James opened both of his eyes, straightened and faced Sirius completely. "Since my sixth birthday, she's been giving me crystal balls," James stated matter-of-factly, as if that explained everything.

Sirius waited for him to say more, but when James continued to stare at him trough his glasses, Sirius cocked an eyebrow, "You know," he said, "the general definition of the word 'elaborate' is to explain the concept of something without leaving your audience in confusion. James," Sirius said, placing a hand on James' shoulder, "I am your audience, and I am thoroughly and utterly and unequivocally and indisputably ... confused."

James stood up suddenly, and Sirius's hand fell to the couch. James started to pace in front of Sirius. Up. Down. Up. Down. "My grandmother – I love the woman, I truly do, but she's strange. She believes in everything. In Muggle superstitions and in our superstitions. She's ... extremely superstitious." Up. Down. Up. Down. "Don't walk under a ladder." James said in a poor imitation of an old woman's voice. "Don't use your wand when you're wearing blue. You can't play Quidditch unless you've hiccupped after drinking pumpkin juice." Up. Down. Up. Down. "I started to think that she made up half of them," he said in his normal voice.

Sirius was whipping his head to the left and to the right, following James. "James?" he asked. James stopped. "Could you stop pacing up and down? You're giving me whiplash," Sirius complained.

James rolled his eyes, but threw himself on the couch again. He stared up at the ceiling. "And now she's coming, Sirius! I don't know how, because she doesn't believe in flooing, apparating or walking – "

"What about Portkeys?" Sirius asked.

James rolled his head around to look at him, and grimaced. "She thinks that they're a waste of time."

Sirius laughed. "A waste of time!" he repeated. "What a load of bogwash!"

James sighed. "I know."

At that moment, Lily Evans came in and sat on the single couch near them. She looked over at them, an amused smile sporting her face. "And now, James?"

James groaned, covering his face. Sirius patted his hair soothingly. "There, there, dear, it'll be alright," he said in a perfect imitation of an old woman's voice.

James growled and punched him. "Shut it!"

"Hey! You didn't have to punch me!"

Lily interrupted their bickering, "Before you two have a catfight, would you care to tell me what's got James' knickers in a twist?"

Sirius laughed. "His grandmother is coming to Hogwarts."

Lily's eyes brightened. "Oh, how lovely!" she said in genuine joy. At her reaction, James elicited a louder groan, and started hitting himself with the couch cushion.

Sirius grabbed the cushion from him, and said, "James don't be ridiculous, now. And besides," he winked at Lily over James' head, "you can't hurt yourself with a cushion. Here, try this," he Summoned a side table, and held it out to him with a cheerful smile.

Lily rolled her eyes, and before either boy could do anything she waved her wand and the side table was Transfigured into a cushion. She shot a half-apologetic look at Sirius, "Well, you would've regretted it if he ended up with a concussion."

Sirius shrugged, and said, "Touché."

James slid to the floor, and Lily raised her eyebrows. "What is wrong with your grandmother coming to stay, James?"

"Apparently she's really superstitious," Sirius provided.

"There's no apparently to it," James mumbled darkly.

"Everyone has a little bit of superstition in them, James," Lily chided.

James simply shook his head, saying, "You'll see."

A few moments of comfortable silence settled upon the three of them, until Lily piped up, asking, "Why is she coming to see Dumbledore of all people?"

James ran his hand through his hair again, and said, "She and Dumbledore are good friends, or something weird like that."

Lily stood up, and stretched, and for a fraction of a second, James marvelled at her chaste beauty. Her lovely, green eyes – like jewels they were. He followed her waves of red hair down to her small waist. Surprised at his thoughts, he stood up, too, saying, "I'm going to head to bed. Goodnight, you two!"

"Uh...hang on a second, James," Sirius said. Something in his tone halted James and he looked back at Sirius. Sirius had a knowing look in his eyes. James looked away.

Lily, not noticing the whole exchange, said, "Me too, James. I'm thoroughly exhausted! Goodnight!" She ran up the stairs to the girls' dormitories, and disappeared out of sight.

Sirius stood up, and whacked James on the shoulder. James glared at him, rubbing his shoulder. "What the bloody hell did you do that for?"

"You like Lily!" Sirius practically yelled.

James clapped his hand over Sirius's mouth and whipped his head around, making sure that no one was in sight. "Shut it, Sirius!" He glared at Sirius, who looked too cheerful for his own good. "And no, I do not. Now I must go to bed. Goodnight."

Sirius placed his hand firmly on James' shoulder, so that James couldn't move. Sirius exclaimed in a low whisper, throwing his one hand up into the air, "You're completely infatuated with Lily Evans, James!"

James shrugged out from beneath Sirius's grasp, and turned around. "For Merlin's sake, Sirius. Listen to yourself!"

Sirius laughed. "Don't you 'Merlin's sake' me, James! Just admit that you like her!"

James turned around, and said in a calm voice, "Of course I like her, Sirius. She's one of my very good friends. One of the first girls not to fall for me actually!"

"Which makes it perfect!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly.

James laughed, looking thoroughly amused. "You sound like a schoolgirl, Sirius. Come off it. Now, goodnight!"

Sirius dragged him back to the couch and pushed him down so that James was sitting on it again. Sirius sat down next to him.

"Man, Sirius, I didn't know you liked it rough," James commented dryly.

Sirius shook his head, rolling his eyes. "James, don't you realize what this means?"

James sighed. "Of course I know what it means. I've just never been the one for taking sex to the extreme—"

James ducked as Sirius aimed a punch at him. "I was not talking about rough shagging, James, although, quite frankly, I have no idea why you're so against it. It's rather enjoyable."

James chose not to dignify Sirius's comment with a response.

"I was talking about James Potter falling madly in love with one Lily Evans!" Sirius continued dramatically, holding both hands to his chest.

"Seriously, Sirius," James sighed. "If you make me roll my eyes one more time, I swear my balls are going to pop out."

Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"My eyeballs, Sirius," James said, suddenly exhausted. He rested his head against the couch, knowing that he wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere even if he was Sirius Black's best friend. He could practically feel his friend's excitement radiating off of him in giant waves. Waves that were unfortunately affecting the primary function of his brain: keeping his body alive.

"Alright, well maybe you're too immature for love," Sirius said thoughtfully, patting James's head. "You see, mate, you need to be mature – like me – you have to be open to love. And when I say open, I mean—"

James cracked an eye open. "You're mature?" he asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius grinned. "See? Even you agree," he said, nodding to himself as if proud of an achievement.

"Sure," James said sarcastically. A few moments passed. "Wait, you've fallen in love?"

"Pfft," was the noise Sirius made. He pointed to himself. "This man here? Fall in love? Pfft," he repeated. "Why would I want to leave my heart in the proverbial cauldron so that some girl can skewer it?" Sirius didn't even give James time to think. "Which brings us back to...you."

James ran a hand through his hair.

"You like her, Prongs," Sirius said, his eyes almost gleaming.

James rolled his head over to look at Sirius. "Look, Sirius, even if it was what I think you think it means, hypothetically, Lily and I couldn't stand a chance. Hypothetically."

Sirius looked at him, his eyebrows raised. "Hypothetically, eh? James, what happened a few years ago with Snivellus-" his mouth curled down on one side, "- and you is over now."

James sighed. "Sirius, what happened a few years ago is still happening now. I detest him. I can't help but curse the guy when he's within a few feet of me. It's an instinct."

"And I admire you for that," Sirius said in a mock grave manner. "Truly I do," he said, placing a hand over his heart to show his supposed sincerity.

"Either way, Lily really feels bad for him, and used to be with him a lot in previous years."

Sirius's head shot up, and he turned slowly to face James, a gleam in his eyes.

One look at him, and James wanted to hightail it. "Oh no, I know that look. It's the look you usually have when you have a crazy idea about something. No, Padfoot, I don't want to know." James made to get up, but Sirius tugged him back down.

"Since when did you get so serious?" Sirius complained. Not waiting for an answer, he rushed on, "But listen, my idea is completely plausible."

James folded his arms over his chest and leaned back into the couch, closing his eyes. "I'm listening," he said reluctantly.

"Okay," Sirius said, sounding a little excited. "What if ... what if Snivellus had a little crush on Lily?"

At that, James opened his eyes and burst out laughing. Sirius looked affronted. "What?"

James' laughter subsided. "Be serious, here, Sirius. Snivellus? I can't even imagine the boy capable of feeling anything humane, or close to it, anyway. Whatever we are."

"But it's possible," Sirius insisted. "Maybe...maybe he told Lily or Lily found out, and she was so extremely insulted that she broke off their friendship." Sirius looked proud of himself. "Yes, that sounds like an excellent theory."

Silence fell over them as they pondered Sirius's theory.

Sirius straightened. "Or...Or, Lily returned his love, and the two decided it was too unsafe to be together!"

James merely looked at him. "Excuse me while I go throw up."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Either way, James, Snivellus is out of Lily's life, so far as I know. And let me assure you about one thing: I know a lot. You can get any girl in this school, so Lily Evans shouldn't be a problem," Sirius ended off with a shrug.

James turned to look at Sirius. "How many times am I going to say it? I don't like Lily Evans that way. And even if I did, it would make no difference. She thinks I'm a pompous rich git, who's in love with himself, Quidditch and girls."

Sirius looked at him, and asked seriously, "Well, aren't you?"

James grabbed the cushion next to him, and pummelled Sirius with it, which led to him falling onto the floor. James laughed. "That'll teach you to insult your best friend."

"You knew I was kidding though," Sirius grumbled. He plopped himself back onto the couch, and yawned. "But you know what I think?"

"Do enlighten me," James said, fluttering his eyes.

Sirius rolled his eye. "I think that you should give up this thing about not liking Evans. You liked her last year, and the year before that, and possibly all the years before that, so why not now?"

James got up to got their dormitory. "Fine, I like her. Goodnight."

Sirius looked surprised. "What, no more denials? I'm touched you finally trust me to finally admit it!"

James ascended the stairs. He called over his shoulder, "I don't like her, but I'll say I like her just to stop you irritating me. So yes, I like her."

"What?"

"Goodnight, Sirius!"

James was about to disappear into their room when Sirius called out, "Wait, James! When is your grandmother coming?"

James teasing looking disappeared and a sombre one replaced it. "Two days from now."

Sirius nodded. "Okay...goodnight!"

Next morning in the Great Hall:

"I have a challenge for you," Dumbledore's voice rang out across the Great Hall. A hush fell over everyone, as they paid keen attention to Dumbledore's words. Only a few Slytherins carried on talking amongst themselves, not caring if their Headmaster was saying something important or not.

"I have a challenge for you," Dumbledore repeated, his eyes scanning his students' alert faces. "It seems that we as wizards and witches have become too reliant upon magic. We cannot understand the art of temptation unless it's in the form of greed, shrewdness, error in judgement, but magic?"

Confused expressions coloured a few students' faces; others had gotten used to Albus's bizarre speeches.

Dumbledore looked at his teachers behind him, and then back at the Hogwarts student body. "I am hereby banning the use of magic-" cries of outrage cut across his speech.

The distinct voices of James and Sirius could be heard."But that's bloody outrageous!" James cried out.

"Bollocks! What's the purpose of being in a school whose name is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" Sirius exclaimed.

Dumbledore looked at the two boys over his spectacles. "Thank you, Mr Potter and Mr Black."

His words didn't wipe the fuming expressions off the boys' faces.

"As I was saying, I am hereby banning magic outside the classroom." Dumbledore waited a while for his words to sink in. "It will just be for just a week or two." His eyes twinkled. "And, be warned, I will know if you violate the rules." He looked pointedly at the four boys seated at the Gryffindor table. James and Sirius looked straight back at him; Remus and Peter looked the other way.

"Alright! Off to bed with you!"

Down at the Gryffindor table, the four Marauders were mumbling and grumbling. James said to Sirius, "This is not fair!"

Sirius looked back at his best friend. "Fair isn't the word, Prongs," he said, with a resigned sigh. The two left the Great Hall, their feet dragging on the floor. "I was planning on playing a prank on that insolent, little boy from Ravenclaw!"

Remus's voice piped up behind them, "Are you talking about Craggus?"

Sirius looked at Remus over his shoulder. "So what if I am?" he replied defiantly.

Remus replied quite blandly, "That boy, as you choose to call him, is in the same year as us. I'm sorry if you have that kind of mentality to call a seventh year a mere boy."

James threw his arm around Remus, as they walked up the steps to the Gryffindor Tower. "Remus, Remus, Remus," he said in a pitying voice. "This is why you leave the thinking to Sirius and myself outside of the classroom. You see, Craggus may be a seventh year, but he acts like a little, immature boy."

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, and I guess seventh years pulling pranks on other innocent people isn't immature," he commented sarcastically.

Sirius said, "Of course it isn't!"

"Glad you understand, Remus!" James exclaimed, clapping Remus on the back.

Peter said quietly, "Yes, I think in the Muggle world there are people who are paid to play pranks on other people."

The three boys halted in their steps to look at their friend. "Uh, you okay, Peter?"

Peter looked puzzled, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Sirius grinned wickedly. "Because you just said something that sounded intelligent."

James let out a laugh, and Remus merely shook his head, rolling his eyes.

It took a while for what Sirius said to dawn on Peter. "Hey! That was not nice!" He feebly tried to punch Sirius, but Sirius ducked, and Peter's hand connected with someone else's shoulder.

"Ouch!" a voice yelled out.

Peter was alarmed. "L-lily! I'm so sorry! Here, let me help you with that."

Lily Evans had dropped her books, and they all pooled around her. "No, no, I've got it," she said, as she bent to pick up her books.

Even though it wasn't called for, James had gotten down and picked up all of her books. He handed it to her with a wide grin. "Here you are, Lily."

Lily smiled back, tacking the huge stack of books from him. "Thanks, James. So I guess Dumbledore's new law must really have put a sock in it for you, huh?"

James looked confused. "Uh," James said intelligently, looking down at his feet. "Lily, I already have socks." He glanced at his friends, their puzzled faces matching his own.

Lily sighed, shaking her head. "Never mind. It's something Muggles usually say. What I meant to say was ..." she trailed as she thought how she could put her words in a more understandable sentence. "The new rule must really...irritate you ... seeing that you can't play pranks on anybody." She grinned teasingly as the five of them made their way to Gryffindor Tower.

Sirius stuck his chest out. "Who said you had to use magic to play pranks on people?"

Lily simply laughed. James muttered the password and waited for Lily to step into the Common Room first, before following. Peter and Sirius raced each other up to their dormitory, whilst Lily sat on a couch in the corner of the room, a quill and a piece of parchment in her hand. Remus and James decided to play a game of wizarding chess.

After a while, James grew bored of the game, even though Remus was concentrating really hard on his next move. James' gaze slid over to where Lily was sitting hunched over the paper, and then back to his game. He dismembered one of Remus's pawns, and used a piece of it to throw it at Lily, aiming to miss.

Thankfully, he did miss, yet she still sent him a flower-withering glare.

"What are you doing?" James asked.

Remus rolled his eyes, and said under his breath. "Oh, come off it, James. She's probably loaded with homework like the rest of us and instead of getting wheedled into a game with one of her best friends, she's deciding to do her homework now."

Before James could say anything, Lily said, "Oh, I'm just playing a game."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Or she's doing that," he said, clearing his throat.

James was looking at her. "By yourself ?"

Lily laughed. "Well, of course, James, you don't see Nearly Headless Nick here, do you?"

"Well, why don't you come play a game of chess with me, here? I'm sure Remus won't mind."

Remus looked like he minded a lot, seeing that he seemed more into the game than James himself, but he didn't say anything. He simply smiled at Lily, and stood up, offering her his chair.

"Oh, no, thank you, Remus," Lily said politely. "But I really must get to bed now. 'Night!"

-to be continued-

A/N: I actually found this story whilst I was sifting through my documents...thought I'd post it. Should I continue?