Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from any movie, book, TV show, or song whatsoever.
Dearest readers, this is a story that makes fun of a bunch of movies, even though Pirates and LOTR are my favorite movies. I know it is very ridiculous, but I hope you enjoy this story and that it makes you laugh. I will graciously accept any reviews, good or bad.
It was a normal day on the Black Pearl, and pirates were scrubbing the deck, making it look very lovely. Suddenly, the ship jolted and stopped making Elizabeth almost fall off the edge. "What did we bloody hit?" Jack yelled hurrying over to the stern. In the middle of the ocean was a yellow brick road. "That's interesting," Jack almost whispered. In the distance, five figures could be seen running…oh wait…skipping, down the road.
"Follow the yellow brick road!" they were singing merrily. Suddenly there was an explosion and one of the figures was knocked into the ocean by a cannonball shot from the Pearl. "Scarecrow!" a young girl shouted hurrying over to the edge of the road.
"Bull's-eye!" Ragetti yelled. A little black dog started running down the road at full speed. He sprinted up a ramp onto the Pearl (Jack had put it down to go investigate), and ran right over to Ragetti.
"Oh, it's cute. Can we keep it?" Ragetti asked getting very excited. The dog growled and jumped onto the pirate. Ragetti's fake eye fell out and Toto grabbed it with his sharp little teeth. "Me eye!" the frantic pirate shouted. He chased after the dog all around the ship.
Meanwhile Dorothy, the Lion, and the Tin Man had pulled the soaked Scarecrow out of the water. They dragged him onto the Black Pearl to see if they could get help. "Please, sir, we need to get to the wizard so the Scarecrow can get a brain, the Tin Man can get a heart, the Lion can get courage, and I can go back to Kansas," Dorothy pleaded asking directions from Jack.
"Why don't ye stay 'ere and 'ave some rum!" Jack smiled opening his arms wide.
"Myyyyy Prreciousssssssssssss," a small voice said in a combination of hissing and whispering. A horrid creature hobbled out of the shadows smiling with his few rotten teeth, arms extended to Dorothy. Suddenly, a man swung down from a rope knocking the creature off the side of the ship. "Nnooooooooooooo!" it screamed before falling into the water and sinking. The man was dressed in black and he carried a gun at his belt.
"Who are you?" Dorothy asked her lifesaver.
"The name's Bond…James Bond," he said. He grabbed Dorothy and they swung onto a jet ski next to the ship. Bond started up the machine and rode away into the sun with Dorothy merrily waving goodbye to her friends on the Pearl.
A phone rang pulling Jack and the strange creatures from the fading figures on the jet ski. Another man dressed in black with dark black sunglasses landed on the deck as if he fell from the sky. "Mr. Anderson," he said to Jack.
"No, Captain Jack Sparrow. It's Elrond right?" Jack asked. But the man ignored him and hurried toward to phone. Ragetti beat him there and picked it up. He still had not gotten his eye back from Toto.
"Oh, hey Pamela!" he said. "I was thinking…we should get our nails done next week…pause…oh my gosh, he said THAT! Oh, you poor thing!"
The man shook his head and super-jumped off the ship and flew away. "I didn't know elves could fly," Will said. Something glistened in the corner of his eye. "Shiny penny!" he ran to grab the shining object, but Toto grabbed it first. Ragetti hung up the phone and they both hurried after the little dog.
All of a sudden, a motorcycle appeared on the yellow brick road. Captain Jack, his crew, the soaking Scarecrow, the Tin Man, the Lion, and Toto watched as it approached. Another man jumped off and boarded the ship. "And you are?" Jack asked wondering if he really wanted to know.
"The Governator," the man said in a deep voice with an accent. "Who are you?" he asked pointing to the three odd creatures that had been on the road before.
"We were headed to the Wizard of Oz to see if he could give us brains, a heart, and courage," the Tin Man answered.
"Could the wizard get me a new hovercraft?" the man asked.
"Um…I guess," the Tin Man replied wondering what a hovercraft was.
"I'll be back," the Governator said jumping onto his motorcycle and driving away.
Next, a boy flew over the ship on a broomstick. He had funny-looking glasses, and he carried a short stick as his only weapon. "Ku blockle shnockle pingle storkenheimer cloggleface!" he yelled pointing the stick at the Lion. Zap! He turned into a fuzzy, pink bunny. "Oh Hogpimples!" the boy shouted flying away. Everyone looked at the "Lion" and turned back to look at the boy.
"That's interesting," Jack said. A few minutes later, faint music could be hear. It grew louder and louder until a giant shadow could be seen under the waves. The shadow got bigger and bigger and finally could be seen as a giant yellow submarine.
"We all live in a yellow submarine! Yellow submarine! Yellow submarine!" The people were singing inside. A porthole opened and someone popped his head out. "Would you like to come in?" he asked. They all looked at Jack.
"Well I'm not waitin' fer Puff the Magic Dragon to show up!" Jack said. He and almost all of the others quickly boarded the submarine and started sailing away.
"Me eye!" Ragetti finally said putting the wooden circle into his head. He looked up and saw that only he and Will were left, and Will watched the submarine sail away holding his shiny penny. Suddenly, a giant squid creature began to attack the submarine.
Will screamed, "Watch out! It's the Crak- oh wait…um…Craker, Croplunk, Crinkleheimersmith? Oh forget it…"