A/N: Thank you GreenDrkness for inspiring the fic! You said something in the PM's we exchanged and this fic was born!
*
Months later ( more than a year later, to be exact), Thatch met the love of his life, who was wearing an exquisite kimono. And also just happened to be the BFF of a young black freckled beauty and hung on his every word.
Thatch was about to learn that revenge is a dish best served cold.
*
Izou had been flying across the globe just because. He had come to visit Ace for an Ultra Secret Reason that may have or may not have to do with rings.*
Izou ended up staying at the Whitebeard family mansion when Ace accidentally set his newly acquired apartment on fire (he was cooking, he said, when Luffy told him that he was dating Trafalgar Law).
The Whitebeards happily accepted Izou with all his quirkiness 'cause they were just as crazy. Izou happened to be versatile in a variety of subjects so family dinners became even more fun than it used to. Izou became the mediator between opposing sides whether it be politics, poker or the best singer to have ever lived. In games, he was the referee.
Thanks to Izou, Haruta had a new hobby, fashion design. A person of excitement, Haruta took the hobby with a passion after getting bored with news bombing, ski jumping, and breaking Guinness world records.
Haruta then proceeded to iron her first clothes, she had designed and created,in the freaking sky, just because. By the way, she won the award for extreme ironing, after she decided to take her clothes and iron on Mount freaking Everest.*
Not to be outdone by his younger sibling, Thatch held a new Guinness world record, for having the highest amount of world records in one year.
A family of crazies might not be cutting it.
Within a week, everyone was wrapped within Izou's finger. Pops took him as a son right away and it was like he had always been there from the beginning.
Marco would tell you that it was almost as though they had known each other in a past life.
Needless to say, this didn't make things easier for Thatch. His family knew about his little crush, (someone scream, "Ace!") and decided to make his life hell.
First, Haruta had convinced Izou to go skinny dipping in the pool, at noon, where coincidentally, Thatch happened to be going for a swim.
Thatch nearly had an aneurysm. He ended up foregoing hot showers for days. Not that that there was any to begin with. Marco had conveniently forgotten to fix his heater that had mysteriously broken the past week.
Someone messed with his hair gel and dye so Thatch was left looking like
Perona on steroids.
A.k.a Perona Man Steroids, a term coined by UltraSecretYouDon'tKnowMeFireFist.
So yeah, the now pink-haired man decided to go to his part-time workplace, the Baratie. Izou said he was cute and that was that.
Needless to say, all hell broke loose. First off, they ran out of waiters so PMS, (Perona Man Steroids), had to act in as a waiter. Customers were so busy laughing they forgot to order.
The other cooks weren't any better. They bursted out in a fit of giggles and one had to be sent home because he actually cracked his rib.
PMS was not pleased.
Normally, PMS would have found a way to get revenge but Izou was the only thing on mind of PMS at the moment.
If brain of PMS could speak, it would probably say,
"Ah, Love... So stupid!"
But emotions happen to be ten times stronger than logic, so love wins anyway and PMS had a prankster's block.
It took a week of rigorous washing, mockery and laughter at hair salons to get rid of the hair.
It died a long, agonizing death.
But PMS lived on in the memories of loved ones who had multiple evidence of its existence.
That Thatch tried to destroy to no avail. Izou was a relatively easygoing and fairly serious person. Thatch was trying to impress Izou so yeah, he wasn't taking the pranking wars in stride.
For the first time, in what should have been impossible, Thatch finally understood the agony of everyone he had ever pranked in his life.
But Karma wasn't done with him yet.
Thatch, bless his soul, ever so optimistic, decided to not let his ramblings, slips and his rather embarrassing behavior he displayed the past week, get to him and made up his mind to impress Izou.
Izou had Japanese ancestry, so Thatch took language hacks in Japanese. He shouldn't have asked Jozu and Vista, for help though.
Because no amount of words would describe the look on Izou's face when Thatch asked him to "rape him at 8 am the next day."
A quick Google translate later and Thatch wanted to curl up and die.
He was a vowel off! He meant to say, "Okosu" (to wake) not "Okasu" (to rape, to violate).*
That's how Thatch found himself in Marco's office.
"Marco, I am so sorry! I understand! Please forgive me! Or please tell Ace to!"
"I don't understand you, yoi!"
"I get it! I was a jerk! I should have never interfered in your relationship with Ace!"
"Now, you admit it... What happened?"
Thatch and Marco had known each other for so long and Thatch knew when Marco was being honest and when he wasn't. Right now, he was being honest.
"Wait, you have no idea of what's been going on? Then why did you forget to fix the heater?"
"I've been busy..."
Thatch, the ever loving brother, forgot his own problems when he heard that evasive answer.
"Okay, spill."
"Weren't you just apologizing for interfering in my relationship?"
"Aha, so you admit that you have a problem! Is something wrong? Did you two fight?"
"Nothing like that! It's just... promise you'll keep your mouth shut?"
"Cross my heart and swear to die."
"I'm going to propose to Ace. I want it to be perfect."
Thatch's eyes were wide like saucers.
"Congratulations! It's about time!"
If you ask me, Ace would not care for fancy stuff. But if you wanna go all out, ask Robin, she would know what to do."
Meanwhile, a city away, Izou gave the same advice to Ace.
*
Thatch returned from the office. He had apologized to Ace on phone. Ace laughed it off and Thatch knew that it was over.
Izou was outta town and just returned. Thatch decided on a direct approach. He knocked and walked into Izou.
Thatch decided on a direct approach. He knocked on the door and walked into the room of Izou.
After fumbling for the first ten minutes, Thatch asked Izou out. Izou pretended to ponder over it and agreed.
One date became two and more and more countless dates and Thatch and Izou lived happily ever after.
Except for the small fact that Thatch eventually found out it was Izou who messed with his hair gel and dye.
The Freaking End.
A/N:
There's a sequel to the story of Marco, Ace and Rings- "Idiots in Love and Nice Suits."
*Extreme ironing is real. I think it should have its own Wikipedia page. Ironing clothes in ridiculous places. People have ironed clothes while kayaking, and skydiving, mention anywhere, they've done it!
*That was a real life story that happened to Tim Ferriss author of "The Four Hour Workweek."
