If Only You Knew, a south park fanfic

Title: If Only You Knew

Author: whocares10315

Pairing: Damien/Kenny

Chapter: One Shot

Rating: R for mild sexual content, mildly disturbing imagery, and language

Disclaimer: I do not own Matt and Trey's precious babies.

Author's Notes: Dedicated to [blackeyedwicca] for the challenging request!

Lengthy. Might be a bit wordy for some.

Goes in reverse-chronological order. If it gets confusing, let me know!

I don't know if this will be offensive to any people of faith but if it is, I'm sorry.

Summary: Damien did not understand humans, let alone Kenny McCormick.

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Time was put on halt around them.

Damien did not wince at Kenny's eviscerated state, disemboweled all over the street.

His dark eyes narrowed, studying the figure. He was going to assume a wild dog of some sort. Perhaps even a bear. With Kenny's luck, that wouldn't surprise him.

Kenny's head was still intact, more or less. His eyes were a faded grey, the dried crimson rimming his full, pale lips in the moonlight.

Damien swatted the flies, gnats and other equally revolting scavengers away from the body, killing them all with one movement. Kenny's decomposing body closed up, all torn organs returning to their rightful place, good as new.

And with the moonlight on his back, Damien knelt forward, tilting his head, almost curiously, at Kenny's corpse. It wasn't amusing or interesting that Kenny was dead. No, Damien had had his full of death. It was nothing exciting or new to him. But the way the moonbeams reflected off of Kenny's eyes, making him appear alive. The way his lips hung open slightly as if about to draw a breath. His pale skin looking soft and fleshly despite the fact that it had grown tight and hard over time. How fragile life was.

Kenny was beautiful. Damien felt no shame in admitting that to himself. In fact, he was certain he had admitted it even to Kenny once. Not that the other knew.

He leaned down, curling his hand behind Kenny's neck and slowly bringing the stiff body up slightly. He stared into Kenny's eyes as if making eye contact before placing his other hand over Kenny's face, pressing his fingertips between his eyes.

Damien's eyes flashed a sinister red only briefly, like a strange glimmer or a light hitting his eyes wrong, before returning to their normal darkness.

A moment passed before Kenny gasped in his hold. He was alive.

Kenny coughed, as if clearing his dry throat of the blood that might have remained there, clutching at his chest.

"Christ," he croaked, taking deep breaths, eyes blinking back the images of being attacked by a wild animal. It had felt like just moments ago. He finally realized he was being held and stared up at Damien, blinking in obvious surprise.

"You," he murmured, sitting up properly, bright blue eyes staring at the other in slight confusion.

"Go home, Kenny," Damien replied, hand still placed behind Kenny's neck to support him. "You'll forget it all in the morning."

Kenny didn't even blink as he watched Damien. The Boy King frowned slightly. Strange. The other was supposed to obey him.

Damien was about to say it again when Kenny's eyes flickered in what looked like recognition. Without another word, Kenny had moved up on his knees, moving his arms around Damien's neck and kissed him. Damien, though admittedly surprised, did not question as he felt the familiar warmth of life in Kenny's lips, only reinforced with the metallic hint of blood. Damien tilted his head, kissing Kenny passionately as the hand behind Kenny's neck raked through his sloppy blond locks.

Such life. Humanity. He could taste the addicting flavor behind Kenny's lips every time.

~*~

Damien had returned to South Park for the last two years of high school. It had been a choice that his father had indefinitely not been pleased about. Damien was, after all, supposed to be by his father's side when he, "took over Earth as Hell's domain."

But that thought never really interested Damien. Especially after his experience at age eight. At that point in life, he had been devotedly serving his father. But after experiencing the hardships of being the new kid, as well as the gratifying acceptance in making new friends, he liked Earth. And though he had to be torn away from it once again to be "transferred," he had made a note to return someday. Return to South Park.

So when Damien had made the personal decision to leave the nest and go off to live alone up on Earth, his father begrudgingly agreed, only with the condition that he could pull Damien back at any time if he so needed. Knowing his father as a truly oversensitive "person" who agonized more about his relationships and his constant obsession of taking over the world than anything else, Damien agreed. And so he returned, much to his "new" classmates' surprise.

Damien had been more readily accepted than he had thought. He saw familiar faces. He never forgot a face. Each face had a soul behind it and each soul had a defining quality that made it recognizable. So though he was not remembered immediately, Damien remembered everyone.

After receiving many double-takes from multiple students, one of them finally spoke up.

"Woah, hey! You're that kid!" Stan recalled, pointing at Damien with an excited look. "That new kid! Satan's kid, right?"

Damien could not resist a small smile as the rest of the kids, in a chorus of knowing "oh"s, remembered him. Stan and Kyle seemed to embrace his return, apparently recalling how they had ended up liking him just as he was about to move. Damien hoped that perhaps now, he didn't need to beat up another person to get their approval. But as far as he could see, despite their long lasting friendship, they had matured, at least slightly.

The fat child, he wasn't sure.

His eyes scanned for a certain blonde. He skimmed over his peers' heads before landing on the boy he was looking for.

Kenny was blinking widely at Damien. Nobody seemed to notice his hesitance to talk, except Damien. He found this ironic. He knew Kenny could be a chatty one if given the opportunity. He and Kenny had had many talks. But as Kenny looked at Damien meaningfully, with those eyes that looked like they had captured the bluest of all winter skies, he looked speechless. Puzzled.

Damien gave the other a smile, which made Kenny blink out of his revelry and hesitantly smile back. Again, Damien was intrigued. He knew Kenny was a confident, even haughty, human being, almost never made uncomfortable with anything.

Humans were just so interesting to Damien, let alone Kenny.

When Kenny got up to leave the room, Damien's eyes drew slowly over to him, eyes saying what he, himself never could.

If only you knew…

~*~

Damien was reading a book when Kenny let himself in to his room. The unbearable sound of screaming and crying people was allowed into the room before Kenny promptly shut the door behind him, silencing the choir of hell.

"What was it this time?" Damien asked without looking up from his sitting place on the bed.

"Syphilis again," Kenny replied casually, flopping down on the bed beside Damien with a tired sigh. "I swear the stuff spreads like wildfire."

"Should I bother to ask?" Damien mused, a hint of a smile tugging at the ends of his lips. He may appear pompous and stuck-up or even cruel, as his name commonly suggests, but he had a sense of humor.

"Nah, it's a stupid story," Kenny grumbled with a roll of his eyes, laying his head back, hands behind it, cradling it.

Damien smirked, side-glancing at Kenny. He knew that meant it wasn't an especially impressive sex conquest story.

"Whatever you say, Kennedy," Damien chuckled teasingly, receiving a shove. Damien finally closed his book to look at Kenny.

"So, how is it up there?" Damien asked, smiling at the warmth of Kenny's side against his.

Instead of answering, Kenny replied in a bit of a murmur,

"You always ask me that."

"Is that bad?" Damien blinked, slightly puzzled by Kenny's sudden hesitance to answer his questions. Kenny was usually brimming with answers and had happily talked to him for years.

"You never ask me how iI/i am," Kenny said in what sounded like a casual manner, but by the way he stared up at the ceiling, Damien knew that the thought had bothered the mortal for a while.

"Well," Damien started, clearing his throat and looking down at the other. "How are you, then?"

Kenny gave Damien a pointed look before rolling his eyes.

"Christ, you're an idiot," he mumbled, making Damien raise an eyebrow slightly in frustration at the other.

While he enjoyed trying to figure humans out, they really were just impossible sometimes.

"What's wrong with you?" Damien asked a bit harshly. After all, being underground with a bunch of demons and punished mortals didn't exactly improve one's social skills. "Why are you being like this?"

"I'm not being like anything, Damien," Kenny snapped back, sitting up to glare at him, blue eyes ablaze. "You're just a fucking retard."

"That's very mature, Kennedy," Damien scoffed. "Now tell me what's wrong or leave, you're giving me a headache."

Kenny seemed a bit insulted and hurt by this but he responded with a frown that did nothing to deter his good looks. Even when angry, he made something within Damien stir with excitement. Excitement of something as delicious as human life. Excitement of being able to see such a strange flawlessness to something as corrupt as man.

"You want me to leave?" Kenny found himself growling, eyes narrowed and fists clenched. "Now, after all this time?"

"If you can't answer a question like an adult," Damien said quietly, watching Kenny harbor strong emotions. He started to wonder why Kenny looked so—bruised. So tense, as if he had just struck him. Strange.

"Damien, why do you think I keep coming back here?" Kenny asked in a bit of a strained voice, watching the demonic male carefully.

"Because you have terrible luck," Damien offered, making Kenny release an annoyed sound and shake his head vigorously.

"No, I mean, why do you think I keep coming here to see you and not just going back home when I can?" Kenny clarified, eyes still searching Damien's. Damien could feel it, like prying fingers behind his eye sockets. It almost made him uncomfortable, what those blue eyes could do.

"I-" Damien started, only to pause, eyebrows knitted as if a realization had just hit him. "I don't know."

Kenny stared. He was looking for a lie. But Kenny dissolved into another look that Damien barely recognized.

"Wow," Kenny said. "You really are a fucking retard."

Damien began to protest only to feel Kenny inch closer. He blinked up curiously as Kenny climbed into his lap, straddling him and nestling comfortably. Damien didn't need to ask what Kenny was doing. As he felt the other's slim yet firm body move against his, he felt his eyes slip shut. Kenny's lips found institution against his, making Damien's breath catch in his throat.

If this was what it meant to be human—pleasure-driven and primitive as animals—Damien could understand it. Live it.

Damien's hands wrapped around Kenny's waist as he moved his lips and tongue lethargically against the other's expert ones. Hs fingertips played with the ends of Kenny's white wife-beater at the curve of his back. He made a small noise as Kenny reached back to lead Damien's hand up and under the shirt, coaxing him to touch his naked spine.

As Damien obliged, appreciating the smooth marble of Kenny's skin, his hips shifted instinctively under Kenny, making a low rumble of a sound emanate from the depth of Kenny's lungs. The sound was unrecognizable and the newness of it made Damien shiver in delight.

Little did he know that Kenny kept spending time with him because Damien had, for years, made him feel special. Worthy. Even, divine in his mere humanity when nobody on Earth would consider Kenny anything special. He was just the poor kid down the street.

And over time, Kenny grew to appreciate Damien for it. Even love him.

And so, he'd always find his way back.

~*~

Damien felt a strange darkness hang over him. Yes, it may have seemed like such a thing was a prerequisite to being the Dark Lord's son, but Damien could not remember feeling such a darkness before. Except perhaps all those years ago when he was only eight. That darkness of loneliness. Hurt. Pain.

Damien pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh, sitting at his desk. He looked down at his pale palm, as if the answer was etched into the miniscule imperfections in the skin.

Why did it hurt him so to watch Kenny leave this time?

Sure, he would always feel a bit sad when Kenny had to return to Earth before, but this time—it was different.

Damien knew it wasn't the fact that Kenny would forget everything about Hell the moment he stepped out onto Earth. That thought had never bothered him. Because the moment Kenny died again and returned, all his previous memories of Hell would return and that was why he kept coming back to him. The memories made in Hell, stayed in Hell.

The young prince looked over his chair at the rumpled sheets of his bed. He couldn't help but smirk slightly to himself.

Ever since that day, he and Kenny had had quite a difficult time keeping their hands to themselves. And the fact aside that they were both hormonal teenagers, Kenny was a very aggressive and sexual person. And as usual, he excited Damien.

Damien's smile fell slightly. Was that it? Was that why he felt such an ache watching Kenny go? Was that why he lost sleep over the fact that there was going to be an inevitable time where Kenny does not remember, care or even know him?

Damien didn't understand.

He didn't understand heartache.

~*~

Such life. Humanity. He could taste the addicting flavor behind Kenny's lips every time.

Damien attempted to breathe evenly through his nose as Kenny kissed him enthusiastically, making small sounds of approval, holding himself closer to the other.

Reluctantly, the dark male tore his lips from Kenny's, breathing heavily and looking at him in confusion.

"How do you remember?" Damien asked, although he knew there was no way Kenny would know the answer.

Damien's mind reeled. He wondered if maybe it was because he had brought him back to life. Yes, Kenny was on Earth, but he had been touched by something that was spawned from Hell. Of course his memories of Hell would return.

"Jesus fuck, I wanted to see you," Kenny panted faintly, smirking slightly as he looked at Damien and lapped at his lips playfully. He hadn't known the answer so he hadn't bothered to give one.

"Likewise," Damien found himself chuckling despite himself, hand moving to Kenny's face. "You hadn't been dying enough so I decided to come up."

Kenny looked at Damien, nodding in an understanding kind of way. Before, there was no way Kenny could have known what happened in Hell when he was on Earth. So there had been no way he could really "miss" him. But then again, there had always been a knot at the bottom of Kenny's stomach, telling him that there was something missing on Earth. That something would only become clear to him when he died.

"I was wondering why the hell you were up here when I got down there," Kenny said, almost sounding like he was blaming him.

"I lost patience," Damien replied, making Kenny smile slightly and move to kiss him again, sucking on his lower lip with a slight hum.

"So that's why you brought me back, huh?"

"You know how selfish I am," Damien nodded, smirking slightly against Kenny's lips.

"And now you can stay here with me, right?" Kenny snickered. "All mine?"

"Doesn't that go without saying?" Damien whispered, catching Kenny's lips again, cupping that delicate, mortal face that he adored.

Even after staying the night with Kenny, for the first time being able to lay beside him without the impending ache in his chest of his inevitable leaving, Damien knew it wouldn't last.

It couldn't. One day, perhaps the next day or even days from then, Damien was going to have to remove himself from Kenny's memories. Because he knew Kenny, despite his constant transference to Hell after Death, was a righteous man and would one day be welcomed in God's house.

And for that to happen, Kenny had to be wiped clean of his sins. And Damien was the biggest and most tainted of all sins. Knowing this, he had to cut their happiness short. Sooner better than later.

Damien sat up as Kenny slept soundly beside him, curled up close for warmth. That same pain was back. And something in his intuition told him it would stay there for quite some time. He slowly moved to press his fingertips against Kenny's forehead, eyes dark and lip twitching with sorrow.

He knew he had to do this for both his own and Kenny's sake. Kenny's memories could be erased at any time without ramifications but Damien's own memories—they would remain painfully vivid. And he did not want to leave time to create any more. Because by the time he had to let Kenny go, it would kill him.

Damien felt Kenny stir beneath his touch but not wake. His fingers shook slightly and he took a breath.

It would be over soon.

But, to his own dismay, he found his fingers curling back and his hand dropping at his side. Damien was, once again, enraptured and captivated by Kenny. The soft curves of his warm flesh, tangled in his bed sheet on his dirty mattress, making him look all the more Godly. The way the moonlight from his window cast shadows to show the true depth of the man beside him. And his absurdly, childish and unkempt hair, that was so much like the boy in Kenny.

Art.

As Damien watched Kenny's eyes move under his thin lids, eyelashes brushing his cheeks, and his chest rise and lower slowly, he realized he had become as selfish as the humans he so devotedly studied.

Damien wrapped an arm around Kenny hesitantly, the other groaning sleepily and moving closer to him, lips pressed to his collarbone as he continued to sleep.

The prince of darkness smiled sadly down at Kenny, stroking his fingers soothingly through his hair.

He was too human to let Kenny go just yet.

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